My mum has no respect for me or my study time.

I understand exactly how you feel. Maybe she's jealous of you?
I'm going into my second year university and DREAD going home during the holidays (this summer has been a nightmare). I can't wait to get a job and move out, I even have a countdown on my phone for when I will finish uni and move out (700+ days left).

My advice would be for you to apply for a grad job far away from home then tell your parents that it's the only one you were accepted for and you really need the job so you won't have a gap in your CV.

Oh please. I'm from an asian family as well, same story with people always living at their parent's home how "it's just not done in our family" and you know what? It's ********. Just gather up the courage and money to move out. The only "chains" keeping you in your prison of a home are psychological ones.

I moved out, have done since first year of uni and parents were not happy at all about it but meh, my independence is worth more to me than keeping parents happy. Literally, the only thing that will happen if you move out is that you will regain your own independence, you'll be a million times happier and your parents will be annoyed for a bit and then get used to it. You'll see them at weekends/holidays and it'll be fine.

Sorry if this comes across as blunt, I'm just tired of asians always moaning about their lack of independence when there is a very simple solution; they just are too scared to take everyone's advice. Especially cos I've been there and there's no reason why you can't do it if I managed to do it.

I need to rant so ****ing much right now because I've kept this in for too long and I'm at breaking point.

I am finding it impossible to live at home with my mum. I literally feel like her slave, she has no respect for me at all. I do everything she asks of me and yet it's NEVER enough. No "please", no "thank you" ever, just demands. "Hurry up" "do this and that". As soon as I wake up, before I can even make my breakfast, she tells me HER plan for MY day. This is essentially a bunch of cleaning around the house (she has cleaning OCD) and sending me out on ridiculous errands all day long, even if it's totally unnecessary, like she doesn't give a **** that I need to try and do something with my life for real.

At the moment I'm trying to get a grad job as a trainee accountant and recently started distance learning towards the ACCA qualification, but every time I come to my room to study she will shout my ****ing name and I cannot get 5 minutes to myself. She's literally ruining my life and I cannot keep living this way. I'm so desperate to get the **** out of this house I'm writing everywhere to volunteer because I can't stand being with her all day and being her slave.

Tonight she shouted me while I was studying and obviously I cannot run to her demands and when I did go downstairs, she starts shouting at me, insulting me, SAYING I AM LAZY AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY!!!! all because she had to clean up after my dad's dishes on her own and load the dishwasher for herself for once. What the ****??? I dedicate my ****ing life to her, literally, and she says I do **** all lmao. I'm done as ****.

I went back to my room because I do not appreciate being made to feel worthless by a ****ing liar. Then she cussed me still while I'm out of the room.

I'm so sick of her ****. I've told her SO many times to have some respect for me and my studies but nothing gets through to her because she is right and I am wrong!!!

Moving out is not an option until I get married as I have strict asian parents. Like I had to travel to uni and live at home and she did this same **** during my degree and took away so much study time from me.

((

Tbh you're right and it's the push I need. I don't want to be trapped and live this miserable life
I can envision an opportunity to move away. I've already been applying for jobs in cities that are over an hour away and if I do secure one then surely they can't stop me from taking it lmao and hopefully my 2 brothers would stick up for me in moving out as they did so for their jobs.
Why should I be confined to this trash town and stuck w my parents when all of the better opportunities are out there and why should I have to commute.

Going to keep at it with the job applications away from here and hope my mum stays the **** out of my face in the meantime.

Thank you for the advice, glad things worked out for you. I'm more hopeful now.

You're not alone. My parents pretty much treat me the exact same way. One of my best friend's parents are exactly the same. I don't think my parents want me to go to university and it is so frustrating. Luckily I have extremely supportive friends and an extremely supportive boyfriend who are all proud of me otherwise i'd be at my wits end really. I don't know why parents treat their children like this but you're not the only one. I think sometimes I feel better knowing i'm not the only one going through this.

Thank you! Honestly it's such a relief to know that you understand what I mean. I'll private message you

I don't even feel like an adult, she's made me feel like a child for so many years.
I'm 22 for god sake and she still threatens to tell my eldest brother if I've disobeyed her. what the ****?

Lol i knew you were a pakistani girl from the first paragraph. Let me guess.. Your mum doesnt want you to work, do ACCA, she thinks its a waste of time and wants you to get married?

Getting married wont solve much cause if you live with the guys family, you basically become a slave. You have to cook and clean for the whole family.

If she hasn't kicked out my brother for the numerous times he's brought trouble to our family then she won't kick me out. She could threaten it but she never will.

If things don't go her way she makes my life hell and lies about me to the rest of the family and they always side her over me and it's all so emotionally manipulating
I can't be on bad terms with the rest of my family as well as her

even one of my brother's who is 28 still lives here bc he has no interest in marriage and he works w my dad
once in an argument with my mum he said he's gonna start looking for flats to move out and it was such a shock to us all and he never did it
like if he can't do it then there's no way I can considering he's been working for years and I don't have a job yet

Tell her to **** off or you move out.

You are an adult. You can move out.

Before you do this, I would start looking for a place though. In case they literally kick you out on the spot.

How much time would you say you get to study / are using for leisure? Filling dishwashers, cleaning dishes and hoovering etc. could fit into the space of an hour. Your house clearly must have a lot going on if you're doing tasks like that and your mother says you do nothing all day, so she must have a full schedule too right?

Tbh you're right and it's the push I need. I don't want to be trapped and live this miserable life
I can envision an opportunity to move away. I've already been applying for jobs in cities that are over an hour away and if I do secure one then surely they can't stop me from taking it lmao and hopefully my 2 brothers would stick up for me in moving out as they did so for their jobs.
Why should I be confined to this trash town and stuck w my parents when all of the better opportunities are out there and why should I have to commute.

Going to keep at it with the job applications away from here and hope my mum stays the **** out of my face in the meantime.

Thank you for the advice, glad things worked out for you. I'm more hopeful now.