Can't talk to girls at all
Heyy, so if anyone is gonna be interested to read, I'm just gonna start talking about my stupid problems 
.So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .
.So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .
Original post by Anonymous
Heyy, so if anyone is gonna be interested to read, I'm just gonna start talking about my stupid problems .So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .
.So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .Hi
Quite a few people I know have this problem - it isn't easy! I had to ask my friend if she would tell this boy that I liked him, I just couldn't do it myself. I don't know if this will help in any way, but have you tried communicating with them like they are your friends? As in - start the conversation as you would with a good friend - try and turn questions on them i.e. if they ask you something, ask them the same/similar question back. Do you have this problem with every girl that you come across? And also, is the fear due to what you think you are going to say, or is it duly on how you think they will react? Sorry for digging a bit
I just thought that it might help you in a way.
Honestly, in general, people like confidence, so even when you are not feeling so confident approaching a girl, try to act it and if the conversation flows then you should eventually embody confidence, but in saying this, still be yourself, and don't think too much when, because conversations aren't predictable, especially with a new person, and if you can, try and get an idea of her intentions, like if you sense she is just talking to you because you are attractive and doesn't seem to show much interest in knowing your personality then maybe having a relationship with her wouldn't be the best decision (but it depends on you). Sometimes my heart automatically starts pounding when I pass a group of guys, but it's usually because I'm thinking too much about what they think of me if they show any attention or if I flopped if I tried talking to them, but I've just learned that I had to be myself, and also radiate confidence even if I didn't feel it at the time, and eventually it came naturally, so just don't worry too much. I hope this helped.
Original post by QueenBee98
Hi Quite a few people I know have this problem - it isn't easy! I had to ask my friend if she would tell this boy that I liked him, I just couldn't do it myself. I don't know if this will help in any way, but have you tried communicating with them like they are your friends? As in - start the conversation as you would with a good friend - try and turn questions on them i.e. if they ask you something, ask them the same/similar question back. Do you have this problem with every girl that you come across? And also, is the fear due to what you think you are going to say, or is it duly on how you think they will react?
Sorry for digging a bit I just thought that it might help you in a way.
Quite a few people I know have this problem - it isn't easy! I had to ask my friend if she would tell this boy that I liked him, I just couldn't do it myself. I don't know if this will help in any way, but have you tried communicating with them like they are your friends? As in - start the conversation as you would with a good friend - try and turn questions on them i.e. if they ask you something, ask them the same/similar question back. Do you have this problem with every girl that you come across? And also, is the fear due to what you think you are going to say, or is it duly on how you think they will react? Sorry for digging a bit
I just thought that it might help you in a way.It's absolutely fine that you're digging in!
The fact is that I haven't even had a chance to talk to these girls cause I just don't have the courage, but talking to them as with my regular friends would help, although I'm never feeling so nervous when I talk to my buddies ..Yeah, I'd say with every girl is the same, I mean if I feel attracted to her, if I see the girl only as a friend I have no problem, but if she's pretty and charming, then I loose my **** . Original post by Stxlla_j10
Honestly, in general, people like confidence, so even when you are not feeling so confident approaching a girl, try to act it and if the conversation flows then you should eventually embody confidence, but in saying this, still be yourself, and don't think too much when, because conversations aren't predictable, especially with a new person, and if you can, try and get an idea of her intentions, like if you sense she is just talking to you because you are attractive and doesn't seem to show much interest in knowing your personality then maybe having a relationship with her wouldn't be the best decision (but it depends on you). Sometimes my heart automatically starts pounding when I pass a group of guys, but it's usually because I'm thinking too much about what they think of me if they show any attention or if I flopped if I tried talking to them, but I've just learned that I had to be myself, and also radiate confidence even if I didn't feel it at the time, and eventually it came naturally, so just don't worry too much. I hope this helped.
This really helps a lot, especially coming from a girl. This year I'm gonna study so maybe I'll break the ice, since I will be surrounded by freshers like myself.Thank you both for your messages!
Stop blaming yourself for not having talked to a girl you don't even know at all and who is with other people. It's far from being an easy thing to do, even for someone who is at ease. I guess some people are able to do it, but life isn't a movie! It's not as easy as that.
You're bad at it because you're inexperienced that's all. You're still young, don't worry about it. Try to talk with girls you hang out with (your friend's friends for example). I was terrible at it too at your age, now I'm 24 and I'm way more comfortable around girls. And I don't even look great so you should be fine.
You're bad at it because you're inexperienced that's all. You're still young, don't worry about it. Try to talk with girls you hang out with (your friend's friends for example). I was terrible at it too at your age, now I'm 24 and I'm way more comfortable around girls. And I don't even look great so you should be fine.
Original post by Anonymous
It's absolutely fine that you're digging in! The fact is that I haven't even had a chance to talk to these girls cause I just don't have the courage, but talking to them as with my regular friends would help, although I'm never feeling so nervous when I talk to my buddies ..Yeah, I'd say with every girl is the same, I mean if I feel attracted to her, if I see the girl only as a friend I have no problem, but if she's pretty and charming, then I loose my **** .
This really helps a lot, especially coming from a girl. This year I'm gonna study so maybe I'll break the ice, since I will be surrounded by freshers like myself.Thank you both for your messages!
The fact is that I haven't even had a chance to talk to these girls cause I just don't have the courage, but talking to them as with my regular friends would help, although I'm never feeling so nervous when I talk to my buddies ..Yeah, I'd say with every girl is the same, I mean if I feel attracted to her, if I see the girl only as a friend I have no problem, but if she's pretty and charming, then I loose my **** . This really helps a lot, especially coming from a girl. This year I'm gonna study so maybe I'll break the ice, since I will be surrounded by freshers like myself.Thank you both for your messages!
Original post by Anonymous
Heyy, so if anyone is gonna be interested to read, I'm just gonna start talking about my stupid problems .So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .
.So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .I'll preface this by saying I'm perhaps not the best person to be offering you advice given my current situation when it comes to women, but nonetheless I aim to have a shot at helping you.
Let's look at the positives first;
- Attractive
- Young
- Receives compliments/positive feedback.
- Social/conversational skills
So basically you're a relatively normal human being who can operate fairly well. KEEP REMINDING YOURSELF OF THAT.
It isn't easy for people to approach strangers, let alone someone their attracted to. There's so many potential outcomes that it overwhelms us and, generally, we fear the worst. That in itself is normal and the majority of people will go through that. Fact of the matter is the moment you step out of your comfort zone and overcome that barrier, you are more attractive than 90% of men simply because you bit the bullet. Ultimately, "being yourself" is the best tip anyone can give you; there's no point trying to be someone you're not, because it will just fall flat, so why not use those positive characteristics of yours and let them shine through in your personality. Read "Models" by Mark Manson. No cheesy pickup lines, no strategies on how long you're supposed to wait until you touch the girl etc...just clear, concise advice on how to be comfortable and attractive to women.
As for actually approaching; eye contact is generally a good indicator, but a smile is pretty much the go ahead. You get a smile, you go for it dude!! I'd try not to do cold approaches unless, say, you happen to notice a cute employee stacking shelves and decide to strike up a conversation with her. Non of that stopping random women in the street ****. Online dating will help you feel more comfortable interacting with new girls and "approaching" (via message) them. It all boils down to practice; the more girls you meet, the more opportunities you have to approach.
If you can get over the first hurdle, of just greeting them, you'll find the conversation flows easily. I'm a shy person, but once I've spoken to someone I don't know for a little bit, I find it so much easier to talk to them. Just practice, the more you speak to people you haven't met before the easier it is to do it in the future.
Original post by Anonymous
The fact is that I haven't even had a chance to talk to these girls cause I just don't have the courage, but talking to them as with my regular friends would help, although I'm never feeling so nervous when I talk to my buddies ..Yeah, I'd say with every girl is the same, I mean if I feel attracted to her, if I see the girl only as a friend I have no problem, but if she's pretty and charming, then I loose my **** . Ah that's okay then
It would be a step in the right direction - it might be best to do this, most of the time people feel more comfortable talking to them as you would do a friend, it makes you more approachable in some ways.
Original post by Anonymous
Heyy, so if anyone is gonna be interested to read, I'm just gonna start talking about my stupid problems .So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .
.So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .Girls aren't anything special don't worry
I did some research and apparently online dating helps because you get to send messages back and forth before actually meeting up which gives you confidence to meet up with women. Doing this will give you experience and after a couple of online dates you will be confident enough to go up to women and speak to them without having to do it online. So get yourself a tinder profile boy good luck!
good luck!Talk to a girl because you want to talk to her not bevause you like her/attractive. Should be easier
Top quality post by SpiritShahD.
Just chew the will power pill and start approaching women, the more you do this, the more easier it will become and you will get natural confidence and this affects how you are seen and perceived.
Online, speed dating, approaching, joining clubs, meeting through college/uni, work, the more you meet women through different channels, the more opportunities you have. I would recommend reading conversation skills books from Waterstones or Amazon to help you with convo skills and look at videos from the authentic man within or Jhonny Berba to help you further.
Talk without the need to get anything, just enjoy it, don't think of the outcome, be lively and enthusiastic. Good Luck!
Just chew the will power pill and start approaching women, the more you do this, the more easier it will become and you will get natural confidence and this affects how you are seen and perceived.
Online, speed dating, approaching, joining clubs, meeting through college/uni, work, the more you meet women through different channels, the more opportunities you have. I would recommend reading conversation skills books from Waterstones or Amazon to help you with convo skills and look at videos from the authentic man within or Jhonny Berba to help you further.
Talk without the need to get anything, just enjoy it, don't think of the outcome, be lively and enthusiastic. Good Luck!
Original post by Anonymous
Heyy, so if anyone is gonna be interested to read, I'm just gonna start talking about my stupid problems .So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .
.So I'm an attractive blond guy in my early 19's. And I definitely don't want to sound arrogant or something like that, I just get compliments quite often, from girls, women, and even guys that I know, but that fact doesn't help me one bit, I get scared shitless if I have to approach a random girl and talk her up, I start thinking of all the possible things I can say and what could she reply, and I just walk past her feeling sorry for my self. Even today when I'm walking from work, not looking so good (10 hours gives you that ), a really attractive girl from a nearby pub, stares at me for quite a long time while talking to her friends, I do the same, cause thats the only thing I can do, and then I walk past her swearing in my mind and feeling like a complete pussy, I just have no idea what to say, what to do or how to approach them (the fact that I'm a virgin probably adds to that). By the way I am social, I have no trouble to get along with people, chat, laugh or whatever in school or work.I do not expect to get a clear solution to this 'problem', beside the fact to just grow the **** up and start acting like a man, but I just wanted to vent out a bit .Stop looking at girls like potential relationships. It'll make you way more nervous. Just go up to the girl and talk to them like they're any other person and it'll probably be a hell of a lot easier because there's not that additional pressure of saying something stupid or trying to get her to like you. Look at every person as a potential new friend. Sounds cheesy af but I had the same problem for years with guys. Try that (if you understand what I said. I'm crap at explaining things). Worked for me!
Wow , so many replies! All of you posted some great messages and it was a pleasure to read them, I'm gonna take all those advices in now .Sorry I can't reply to everyone of you cause its just so many, but many thanks to all of you!
.Sorry I can't reply to everyone of you cause its just so many, but many thanks to all of you!I expect to hear stories of your sexual conquests, good sir!
Haha, I hope to not make you wait for too long 
.By the way your earlier post was spot on!
.By the way your earlier post was spot on!Quick Reply
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