Should I reject my Clearing offer(s) in favour of a gap year?
Sorry about the length and the fact that parts of it read like a diary entry - I had to get it all out.)
Teachers, friends and family have advised that I go on to university rather than retake my disappointing A levels (the grades aren't bad and likely won't hold me back but I absolutely could have done so much better), but they don't have the full picture with regards to my reservations.
Disappointment in having missed my firm is just one of many factors. Moderate - somewhat severe depression, moderate anxiety, prolonged stress, and confidence issues plagued me over the last five years (since early adolescence), affecting my mental health quite a bit. Fortunately they resolved themselves somewhat over the course of this year (even though I don't have the best support network), but I don't know whether I feel recovered enough to be going to university this year (the question of whether I'll ever feel sufficiently recovered in general I'm also unsure about tbh).
When this kind of thing takes place over such a long period of time, it obviously affects your life in a profound way - I'm harbouring serious regret over passing up great extracurricular opportunities that would have helped personal development (school plays, mock trial, school sports etc) as well having failed to form the close friendships that I knew in the back of my mind would have reduced these issues. In short, I feel less 'developed' (not academically but in other ways) than the average person heading to the unis I hold offers from, which is eroding my confidence. This also means my emotional vulerability is greater, which means I'm less likely to be able to cope with challenges at university.
During early adolescence I experienced so much emotional pain (and correponding exhaustion) that I think subconsciously decided that striving to be happy wasn't worth it anymore and neither was anything else that was positive in my life. From self-sabotaging things to actively preventing myself from feeling anything positive, I didn't conceive a future for myself beyond secondary school. Eventually battling against feelings of anxiety, keeping myself emotionally numb and comfortably miserable became the norm and I began to think little of it - it felt like the damage was cemented, like nothing could be done.
At the same time, I made academia the focal point of my life - I'm naturally studious, but it was also attractive as a way of distracting myself from these issues. Putting in the maximum energy, time and effort I could into every single assesment/exam and in somewhat of an obssessive way, it was frustrating to see failure this year (of all years) - my self sabotaging tendencies prevailed and I didn't to meet my potential. Along the way, this drained my passion for studying and the enjoyment became torture instead. I regret this, and I feel heartbroken thinking of every lunchtime I sacrificed, the hours I spent on essays, all nighters etc.
There's a lingering aura of sadness and uncertainty about me that I don't see in my peers and I wonder how much it's going to hold me back. I'm certainly not socially awkward and can conversate but I don't know whether/how I can develop the emotional stability to build stronger friendships.
I don't know how I'll adjust if I go this year( I want to make the most of the uni experience), but the pain of having to reapply for 2017 entry (with a chance that I might not get in because the entry requirements dropped through Clearing for my offers and I did abysmally in individual modules --- deffered entry maybe?) and being reminded of my failure makes me think I should go for it. A gap year on the other hand would give me the chance to retake and actually showcase my potential.
Most of the issues have resolved themselves and I'm hopefully on my way to a healthier future but I mention them because they're relevant to my current life in terms of the toll they've taken.
What do I do?
Teachers, friends and family have advised that I go on to university rather than retake my disappointing A levels (the grades aren't bad and likely won't hold me back but I absolutely could have done so much better), but they don't have the full picture with regards to my reservations.
Disappointment in having missed my firm is just one of many factors. Moderate - somewhat severe depression, moderate anxiety, prolonged stress, and confidence issues plagued me over the last five years (since early adolescence), affecting my mental health quite a bit. Fortunately they resolved themselves somewhat over the course of this year (even though I don't have the best support network), but I don't know whether I feel recovered enough to be going to university this year (the question of whether I'll ever feel sufficiently recovered in general I'm also unsure about tbh).
When this kind of thing takes place over such a long period of time, it obviously affects your life in a profound way - I'm harbouring serious regret over passing up great extracurricular opportunities that would have helped personal development (school plays, mock trial, school sports etc) as well having failed to form the close friendships that I knew in the back of my mind would have reduced these issues. In short, I feel less 'developed' (not academically but in other ways) than the average person heading to the unis I hold offers from, which is eroding my confidence. This also means my emotional vulerability is greater, which means I'm less likely to be able to cope with challenges at university.
During early adolescence I experienced so much emotional pain (and correponding exhaustion) that I think subconsciously decided that striving to be happy wasn't worth it anymore and neither was anything else that was positive in my life. From self-sabotaging things to actively preventing myself from feeling anything positive, I didn't conceive a future for myself beyond secondary school. Eventually battling against feelings of anxiety, keeping myself emotionally numb and comfortably miserable became the norm and I began to think little of it - it felt like the damage was cemented, like nothing could be done.
At the same time, I made academia the focal point of my life - I'm naturally studious, but it was also attractive as a way of distracting myself from these issues. Putting in the maximum energy, time and effort I could into every single assesment/exam and in somewhat of an obssessive way, it was frustrating to see failure this year (of all years) - my self sabotaging tendencies prevailed and I didn't to meet my potential. Along the way, this drained my passion for studying and the enjoyment became torture instead. I regret this, and I feel heartbroken thinking of every lunchtime I sacrificed, the hours I spent on essays, all nighters etc.
There's a lingering aura of sadness and uncertainty about me that I don't see in my peers and I wonder how much it's going to hold me back. I'm certainly not socially awkward and can conversate but I don't know whether/how I can develop the emotional stability to build stronger friendships.
I don't know how I'll adjust if I go this year( I want to make the most of the uni experience), but the pain of having to reapply for 2017 entry (with a chance that I might not get in because the entry requirements dropped through Clearing for my offers and I did abysmally in individual modules --- deffered entry maybe?) and being reminded of my failure makes me think I should go for it. A gap year on the other hand would give me the chance to retake and actually showcase my potential.
Most of the issues have resolved themselves and I'm hopefully on my way to a healthier future but I mention them because they're relevant to my current life in terms of the toll they've taken.
What do I do?
I'm a bit wary of replying to these kinds of threads because ultimately this is your decision, but I think wanting to take a year out to prepare mentally and emotionally for uni is a very good idea if you don't feel ready. That said, you need a solid plan - spending lots of time sat at home on your own is not going to help your anxiety or depression, you need to do something positive with your time. Any ideas?
If you're happy with your insurance offer then you can ask them to defer your place, thus enabling you to enjoy your gap year without any uncertainty. If you don't want to go to your insurance, where do you want to go? Would you have to retake your A levels to meet the entry requirements? I don't think you should retake your A levels unless you absolutely have to.
If you're happy with your insurance offer then you can ask them to defer your place, thus enabling you to enjoy your gap year without any uncertainty. If you don't want to go to your insurance, where do you want to go? Would you have to retake your A levels to meet the entry requirements? I don't think you should retake your A levels unless you absolutely have to.
Did I miss it but what did they get? What were they expecting to get?
Where were they hoping to go to?
What are they now offered?
Ive answered loads of these threads, but as snuffkin said it is your decision and you take responsibiliy for what happens.
The post was virtually incomprehensible to me as ,osy of the relevant information has been left out.
You seem to have a lot of issues, so make sure you are mentally in the right place before you go to Uni otherwise stress, loneliness anxiety and depression could all get to you.
So i'd ask myself the following questions.
If I underperformed, then would I feel ok about giving up one year to get better grades? Do I think I would do better?
What Uni would thise grades get me into? Is it a better one than now where I could be happy and on a course I could be happy doing?
Am I prepared to give up 1 year for the chance to change things?
Is my mental health under control so I could cope with uni?
Where were they hoping to go to?
What are they now offered?
Ive answered loads of these threads, but as snuffkin said it is your decision and you take responsibiliy for what happens.
The post was virtually incomprehensible to me as ,osy of the relevant information has been left out.
You seem to have a lot of issues, so make sure you are mentally in the right place before you go to Uni otherwise stress, loneliness anxiety and depression could all get to you.
So i'd ask myself the following questions.
If I underperformed, then would I feel ok about giving up one year to get better grades? Do I think I would do better?
What Uni would thise grades get me into? Is it a better one than now where I could be happy and on a course I could be happy doing?
Am I prepared to give up 1 year for the chance to change things?
Is my mental health under control so I could cope with uni?
Original post by Snufkin
I'm a bit wary of replying to these kinds of threads because ultimately this is your decision, but I think wanting to take a year out to prepare mentally and emotionally for uni is a very good idea if you don't feel ready. That said, you need a solid plan - spending lots of time sat at home on your own is not going to help your anxiety or depression, you need to do something positive with your time. Any ideas?
If you're happy with your insurance offer then you can ask them to defer your place, thus enabling you to enjoy your gap year without any uncertainty. If you don't want to go to your insurance, where do you want to go? Would you have to retake your A levels to meet the entry requirements? I don't think you should retake your A levels unless you absolutely have to.
If you're happy with your insurance offer then you can ask them to defer your place, thus enabling you to enjoy your gap year without any uncertainty. If you don't want to go to your insurance, where do you want to go? Would you have to retake your A levels to meet the entry requirements? I don't think you should retake your A levels unless you absolutely have to.
Missed my firm by two grades, so would have to retake a min. of two exams and a max of four to get into my firm. Don't know if deferred entry will be possible because the iinsureance's requirements dropped through Clearing and I only meet the dropped requirements.
With reapplying, my insurance certainly doesn't have the international prestige/ranking that my firm did (althoghh in is comparable in terms of subject ranking) and that bothers me. My Clearing offer does have similar international prestige, but the course is single honours so I'd have to sacrifice one of my interests academically (I'm quite keen on the isnurance's course). My insurance is also in my hometown which I'm not keen on, whereas the Clearing is in a much nicer city. Which would you choose?
Ideas for a gap year: Volunteering/working/teaching abroad through the numerous programs available; would do this for about 2 -3 months, would pick up a alnguage, attend free lectures etc in my course of interest, complete online courses, keep a blog.
Original post by 999tigger
Did I miss it but what did they get? What were they expecting to get?
Where were they hoping to go to?
What are they now offered?
Ive answered loads of these threads, but as snuffkin said it is your decision and you take responsibiliy for what happens.
The post was virtually incomprehensible to me as ,osy of the relevant information has been left out.
You seem to have a lot of issues, so make sure you are mentally in the right place before you go to Uni otherwise stress, loneliness anxiety and depression could all get to you.
So i'd ask myself the following questions.
If I underperformed, then would I feel ok about giving up one year to get better grades? Do I think I would do better?
What Uni would thise grades get me into? Is it a better one than now where I could be happy and on a course I could be happy doing?
Am I prepared to give up 1 year for the chance to change things?
Is my mental health under control so I could cope with uni?
Where were they hoping to go to?
What are they now offered?
Ive answered loads of these threads, but as snuffkin said it is your decision and you take responsibiliy for what happens.
The post was virtually incomprehensible to me as ,osy of the relevant information has been left out.
You seem to have a lot of issues, so make sure you are mentally in the right place before you go to Uni otherwise stress, loneliness anxiety and depression could all get to you.
So i'd ask myself the following questions.
If I underperformed, then would I feel ok about giving up one year to get better grades? Do I think I would do better?
What Uni would thise grades get me into? Is it a better one than now where I could be happy and on a course I could be happy doing?
Am I prepared to give up 1 year for the chance to change things?
Is my mental health under control so I could cope with uni?
Got AAB when needed A*AA. Wanted to do a joint honours at Durham. Offered virtually the same joint honours at Bham, and single honours featuring one of my subjects at Edinburgh. Please see my reply to snufkin for my thoughts with regards to these offers.
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