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Guy was getting close, but now avoids me??

To keep a long and messy story short, there's a guy I work with and a few weeks ago we were getting pretty close, messaging all the time, meeting up alone, making out, and one time we had sex... He told me that he wasn't interested in relationships and yet he wanted one with me... Shortly afterwards, he started being really off with me, not flirting back, "being too ill" to meet up but then going and seeing other friends (and telling me about it??), it was like a super quick change of behaviour... I told him I was done with him, and his behaviour became very confusing, messaging me all the time but ignoring me every time I tried to ask if he still liked me, avoiding me at social gatherings but staring at me from across the room and making a point of coming to give me a tight squeezy hug at some point before continuing to avoid me... Why won't he just let me move on? Is he confused himself? What would you (honestly) do?
you need to start using deodorant
Original post by Angry Bird
you need to start using deodorant


Ah, that'll be it :wink:
Original post by Anonymous
To keep a long and messy story short, there's a guy I work with and a few weeks ago we were getting pretty close, messaging all the time, meeting up alone, making out, and one time we had sex... He told me that he wasn't interested in relationships and yet he wanted one with me... Shortly afterwards, he started being really off with me, not flirting back, "being too ill" to meet up but then going and seeing other friends (and telling me about it??), it was like a super quick change of behaviour... I told him I was done with him, and his behaviour became very confusing, messaging me all the time but ignoring me every time I tried to ask if he still liked me, avoiding me at social gatherings but staring at me from across the room and making a point of coming to give me a tight squeezy hug at some point before continuing to avoid me... Why won't he just let me move on? Is he confused himself? What would you (honestly) do?


You gave him the goods (sex) he was after, and now he is no longer interested
Original post by Anonymous
To keep a long and messy story short, there's a guy I work with and a few weeks ago we were getting pretty close, messaging all the time, meeting up alone, making out, and one time we had sex... He told me that he wasn't interested in relationships and yet he wanted one with me... Shortly afterwards, he started being really off with me, not flirting back, "being too ill" to meet up but then going and seeing other friends (and telling me about it??), it was like a super quick change of behaviour... I told him I was done with him, and his behaviour became very confusing, messaging me all the time but ignoring me every time I tried to ask if he still liked me, avoiding me at social gatherings but staring at me from across the room and making a point of coming to give me a tight squeezy hug at some point before continuing to avoid me... Why won't he just let me move on? Is he confused himself? What would you (honestly) do?


It's pretty obvious that he only wanted you for one thing
Maybe youve upset him in a really bad way you're unaware of.
I doubt that hed do something like the others above me are saying especially if he works with you and he has to see you often at work.

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Ouch... maybe he didn't like the sex
Original post by Pinkberry_y
You gave him the goods (sex) he was after, and now he is no longer interested




But then why is he acting all confusing now? I tried to move on and he wouldn't let me :colonhash:
Original post by Anonymous
To keep a long and messy story short, there's a guy I work with and a few weeks ago we were getting pretty close, messaging all the time, meeting up alone, making out, and one time we had sex... He told me that he wasn't interested in relationships and yet he wanted one with me... Shortly afterwards, he started being really off with me, not flirting back, "being too ill" to meet up but then going and seeing other friends (and telling me about it??), it was like a super quick change of behaviour... I told him I was done with him, and his behaviour became very confusing, messaging me all the time but ignoring me every time I tried to ask if he still liked me, avoiding me at social gatherings but staring at me from across the room and making a point of coming to give me a tight squeezy hug at some point before continuing to avoid me... Why won't he just let me move on? Is he confused himself? What would you (honestly) do?


Hmm, if he just wanted you for sex, he would easily just let you move on, but he doesn't. I think you need to have a discussion about this; make him admit what he truly wants. Perhaps he just wanted you for sex initially, but then developed feelings? Too early to say. You need to dig up the details yourself - all I'm seeing is a half painted picture.
Original post by yungaheartz
Ouch... maybe he didn't like the sex


That's not what he told me :wink:
Original post by Anonymous
But then why is he acting all confusing now? I tried to move on and he wouldn't let me :colonhash:


He's too immature and awkward to tell you out right he does not want to pursue a relationship but also doesn't want to burn his bridges and could want more goods (sex) in the future
Original post by Anonymous
But then why is he acting all confusing now? I tried to move on and he wouldn't let me :colonhash:


Maybe he wants another shag and doesn't want to alienate you?
Original post by Anonymous
But then why is he acting all confusing now? I tried to move on and he wouldn't let me :colonhash:


He's got what he wanted that is why is being off with you, maybe he was just trying to keep you sweet by giving you a hug.
Original post by Crazy Sheep
I've been trying but he always ignores me, like 2 days ago I messaged him asking why everyone at work has been telling me that he likes me even though he avoids me, and I received no response... the next day he messages me out of the blue like "heyyy" telling me about his day and totally ignoring the topic. He does this every time.


I think you're literally going to have to confront him in person. Telling your friends that you like someone isn't really a characteristic of someone just using you.

Lol, what's his relationship history? Is he shy?
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Goaded
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He's a **** boy
Original post by GradeA*UnderA
I think you're literally going to have to confront him in person. Telling your friends that you like someone isn't really a characteristic of someone just using you.

Lol, what's his relationship history? Is he shy?


Ooooops I forgot to click the anonymous button lol. He just had a big break up from a long term relationship a little before we started our thang, he says that's why he doesn't want another one yet. He's not shy, no. Why?
Original post by Anonymous
Ooooops I forgot to click the anonymous button lol. He just had a big break up from a long term relationship a little before we started our thang, he says that's why he doesn't want another one yet. He's not shy, no. Why?


It would explain the avoidance act he kinda pulls. I suppose it's probably from the big break up and the fear of getting into a new relationship too soon. That's my best guess. :smile:
Original post by GradeA*UnderA
It would explain the avoidance act he kinda pulls. I suppose it's probably from the big break up and the fear of getting into a new relationship too soon. That's my best guess. :smile:


Thanks. Do you think I should distance myself and see what he does?
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks. Do you think I should distance myself and see what he does?


Might not be a bad idea. Haven't you done that already since you mentioned he wouldn't let you move on? (Sorry for the late reply).

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