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Sleeping with my Best Friends ex

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Original post by NatoHeadshot
She's asking for help and you guys are just telling her she's terrible.
You know maybe you shouldn't tell her because I'm not sure o the type of friendship you have, but eventually it will come out. As said above, be ready to lose a friend. Don't do it again, and leave any digital evidence of it happening


Thanks
Original post by Vyres
Why? They're an "ex" for a reason, so if they're single, why can't you go out with them/have sex with them? I certainly would.


Sure go for it if that's what you want, I personally wouldn't tho. Too much of a mess involved, not everyone could take it on the chin like that and I wouldn't want to cause any problems with one of my bros. Always going to be feelings and memories between the two.

Would much prefer to keep a good friend than have sex with what may or may not be a one time thing. Really not worth it tbh.

Why sh*t where you eat when there are plenty more fish in the sea?

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(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 22
Original post by Anonymous
You make me feel like less of a bad person.


You're not a bad person. It's completely stupid to not go out/have sex with somebody because your best friend was with them. That's by far the stupidest thing I've heard. However if you slept with her whilst your best friend was with her, then that's a whole different story, and you would be the bad guy, but in this situation you're at no fault.
Original post by Jazzy97
Sure go for it if that's what you want, I personally wouldn't tho. Too much of a mess involved, not everyone could take it on the chin like that and I wouldn't want to cause any problems with one of my bros. Always going to be feelings and memories between the two.

Would much prefer to keep a good friend than have sex with what may or may not be a one time thing. Really not worth it tbh.

Why sh*t where you eat, when there are plenty of other fish in the sea?

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Reply 24
Original post by Jazzy97
Sure go for it if that's what you want, I personally wouldn't tho. Too much of a mess involved, not everyone could take it on the chin like that and I wouldn't want to cause any problems with one of my bros. Always going to be feelings and memories between the two.

Would much prefer to keep a good friend than have sex with what may or may not be a one time thing. Really not worth it tbh.

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Well personally if my best friend was annoyed that I was sleeping with his ex, i'd get rid of this so called "friend" asap. Your "friends" should be happy for you no matter what.
Original post by Vyres
You're not a bad person. It's completely stupid to not go out/have sex with somebody because your best friend was with them. That's by far the stupidest thing I've heard. However if you slept with her whilst your best friend was with her, then that's a whole different story, and you would be the bad guy, but in this situation you're at no fault.


Thanks, I would never sleep with them while either of us was in a relationship
Original post by Vyres
Well personally if my best friend was annoyed that I was sleeping with his ex, i'd get rid of this so called "friend" asap. Your "friends" should be happy for you no matter what.


It's not about what my friend thinks, it's about personal morals and bringing sh*t to your doorstep. Why of all the girls you could possibly meet, would you choose to get involved with your best friend ex. You're just asking for it.

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Original post by Anonymous
Thanks


If you actually need more help pm my friend was in similar and messier situation.
Up to you it's cool if you want to stay anon
Reply 28
Original post by Jazzy97
It's not about what my friend thinks, it's about personal morals and bringing sh*t to your doorstep. Why of all the girls you could possibly meet, would you choose to get involved with your best friend ex. You're just asking for it.

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Maybe I'm just too insensitive, but if I felt anything for the girl then I definitely wouldn't waste my time standing around and asking myself "what if", i'd jump at the chance. But hey, I guess we all have different standards/morals.
Original post by NatoHeadshot
If you actually need more help pm my friend was in similar and messier situation.
Up to you it's cool if you want to stay anon


Thankyou I could use all the help I can get.
Original post by Vyres
Maybe I'm just too insensitive, but if I felt anything for the girl then I definitely wouldn't waste my time standing around and asking myself "what if", i'd jump at the chance. But hey, I guess we all have different standards/morals.


Tbh I get it, I'm all for taking every opportunity and living life with no regrets.

I've been in the situation before and overall it's not worth it. Once the relationship breaks with the girl, you have no girl and no best friend, in the end you lose. I value close friendships way more than the girl simply put.

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Original post by Anonymous
Thankyou I could use all the help I can get.

Shoot me a pm then
Reply 32
Original post by Jazzy97
Tbh I get it, I'm all for taking every opportunity and living life with no regrets.

I've been in the situation before and overall it's not worth it. Once the relationship breaks with the girl, you have no girl and no best friend, in the end you lose. I value close friendships way more than the girl simply put.

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I've been in this same situation also (i didn't end up sleeping with the girl), but after my best friend broke up with his girlfriend, me and her got pretty close, and he just absolutely hated it. Whilst I lost him as a friend, I didn't really care to be honest. Some of the things he did/said whilst me and her were close were just completely pathetic, and I'm happy that I finally ditched such a waste of space, because whatever happens your best friend should stick by your side and talk to you, or reason with you instead of going full retard and doing something stupid.
Original post by Vyres
I've been in this same situation also (i didn't end up sleeping with the girl), but after my best friend broke up with his girlfriend, me and her got pretty close, and he just absolutely hated it. Whilst I lost him as a friend, I didn't really care to be honest. Some of the things he did/said whilst me and her were close were just completely pathetic, and I'm happy that I finally ditched such a waste of space, because whatever happens your best friend should stick by your side and talk to you, or reason with you instead of going full retard and doing something stupid.


I fail to understand the urges here, like why in the first place? I just distance myself from any girl my bros date. It's not that hard

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Reply 34
Original post by Jazzy97
I fail to understand the urges here, like Wht in the first place? I just distance myself from any girl my bros date. It's not that hard

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Hell no. I liked this girl from the moment I met her. My friend was dating her, so at the time I didn't do anything stupid as I had respect for my friend, but when they broke up I definitely wanted to get closer. You don't just let somebody that you could potentially love slip out of your hands, you don't want to be asking yourself the whole "what if" in 10 years time. I saw the opportunity, and I took it, and I'm extremely glad I did. I have absolutely no regrets.
Original post by Vyres
Why? They're an "ex" for a reason, so if they're single, why can't you go out with them/have sex with them? I certainly would.


Sure it's fine... if you have no morals.
Reply 36
Original post by GlitterandGold-x
Sure it's fine... if you have no morals.


Well I mean you're pretty narrow minded if you think that going out with your best friends ex displays you having no morals, but then again I couldn't care less, we all think differently I guess.
Original post by Vyres
Hell no. I liked this girl from the moment I met her. My friend was dating her, so at the time I didn't do anything stupid as I had respect for my friend, but when they broke up I definitely wanted to get closer. You don't just let somebody that you could potentially love slip out of your hands, you don't want to be asking yourself the whole "what if" in 10 years time. I saw the opportunity, and I took it, and I'm extremely glad I did. I have absolutely no regrets.


I'm not going to potentially love her, I don't really care either way. If I'm still best friends with the guy then I'm not doing anything regardless. If not then fair game.

I don't sh*t where I eat and I'm not going to disrupt my social circle for feelings that I can keep in check. No ones going to be regretting anything because I don't put girls on pedestals and I don't fantasize about what could have been. I simply make a conscious decision not to go for a girl and stick to it. There's no regrets, I followed through.

As far as I'm concerned, there are tons of other better looking girls that you could go for, just go out and and look.

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Reply 38
Original post by Jazzy97
I'm not going to potentially love her, I don't really care either way. If I'm still best friends with the guy then I'm not doing anything regardless. If not then fair game.

I don't sh*t where I eat and I'm not going to disrupt my social circle for feelings that I can keep in check. No ones going to be regretting anything because I don't put girls on pedestals and I don't fantasize about what could have been. I simply make a conscious decision not to go for a girl and stick to it. There's no regrets, I followed through.

As far as I'm concerned, there are tons of other better looking girls that you could go for, just go out and and look.

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Well I guess we can agree to disagree, we clearly have completely opposite opinions about the topic, which is fine I guess.
Original post by Vyres
Well I mean you're pretty narrow minded if you think that going out with your best friends ex displays you having no morals, but then again I couldn't care less, we all think differently I guess.


To date someone a friend was seeing casually / had no serious relationship with / was never that into - I can see why that might be ok.
But to date a best friend's ex immediately after the break-up is sneaky af. Especially as a best friend is someone she would have confided in after the split, and for OP to 'support' her friend whilst shagging the ex is ****ed up.
Would you be ok with it if your friend screwed your ex immediately after a break-up and didn't tell you about it ?
Oh - and to give some advice to OP. You ****ed up. Tell your friend what happened, apologise and accept whatever comes your way...

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