Have a crush on boss - What Do I Do?

This is something that has been bothering me for a while now and I don't know what to do. I am male and am 18 years old and my boss is 30 and female.

I've worked with her for about a year and it has only been in the last month or so I've become more serious about it. I'd say for the first few months I didn't think anything of her that much but then I started to develop a small crush on her and it seemed innocent enough but the thought of it started disturbing me and I feel disgusted by it. This next part may sound slightly offensive and I don't mean it to be but when I have a crush I usually have unrealistic standards but my boss isn't the most attractive of people she's slightly overweight but I still find her really attractive though other people don't.

She's done a lot for me since I've started in terms of work and helped once or twice in my personal life and since I'm not good with girls (never dated or even had my first kiss) and since she is pretty much the only one that seems to act like she cares I I'm confusing it with attraction, though I am not a therapist so am probably wrong.

To make matters worse she often jokes about us together. For example saying something complemented the colour of my eyes, rubbing my leg once and then in front of someone jokingly said "I was the only man for her." since she got divorced. I know that all these things she is probably only joking but it seems to subconsciously stick with me and I often seem to picture myself losing my virginity to her and it seems to be eating away at me. What should I do?

Reply 1

wickedisgood

12

Do nothing. Don't act on it, don't acknowledge it. Move on and find someone that you don't work with who is closer to your own age.

Reply 2

Pinkberry_y

19

Original post by oZombiex2

This is something that has been bothering me for a while now and I don't know what to do. I am male and am 18 years old and my boss is 30 and female.

I've worked with her for about a year and it has only been in the last month or so I've become more serious about it. I'd say for the first few months I didn't think anything of her that much but then I started to develop a small crush on her and it seemed innocent enough but the thought of it started disturbing me and I feel disgusted by it. This next part may sound slightly offensive and I don't mean it to be but when I have a crush I usually have unrealistic standards but my boss isn't the most attractive of people she's slightly overweight but I still find her really attractive though other people don't.

She's done a lot for me since I've started in terms of work and helped once or twice in my personal life and since I'm not good with girls (never dated or even had my first kiss) and since she is pretty much the only one that seems to act like she cares I I'm confusing it with attraction, though I am not a therapist so am probably wrong.

To make matters worse she often jokes about us together. For example saying something complemented the colour of my eyes, rubbing my leg once and then in front of someone jokingly said "I was the only man for her." since she got divorced. I know that all these things she is probably only joking but it seems to subconsciously stick with me and I often seem to picture myself losing my virginity to her and it seems to be eating away at me. What should I do?

Omg I had this last year, I had such a big crush on my deputy manager he was 25 and I had just turned 18. For me what helped was just repeatedly telling myself it can't work it can't work it can't work. Treat her as a friend and as a mentor but nothing more. When she makes these kind of remarks laugh it off and automatically file it under the friendly comments category. Nothing more.
If you really can't get over her you can always change jobs as a last resort

Reply 3

oZombiex2

OP

3

Original post by Pinkberry_y

Omg I had this last year, I had such a big crush on my deputy manager he was 25 and I had just turned 18. For me what helped was just repeatedly telling myself it can't work it can't work it can't work. Treat her as a friend and as a mentor but nothing more. When she makes these kind of remarks laugh it off and automatically file it under the friendly comments category. Nothing more.
If you really can't get over her you can always change jobs as a last resort

Thanks! Good to see I can relate to someone and am not the only person that has experienced this. I'll try to do as you say and hopefully that will help. Like i said she's done a lot for me since she started and i'm at a point now where leaving my job would be damaging to my future so I'll have to make sure i get this sorted. Thanks again :smile: