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Academically able students who've missed their firm (including Oxbridge)...

..how are you coping? Have you found an alternative place you like? What's your plan? How are you dealing knowing that you've ended up at a less prestigious place?

Because I'm absolutely crushed to bits, completely heartbroken. All I've wanted was a place at my uni
of choice (Durham) for a long time and don't think I deserve to feel like this much of a failure. I've performed well through
the years but produced disappointing results when it mattered the most; most of my classmates achieved at least one A* and are headed to Oxbridge, UCL and Imperial. Sure mitigating circumstances played a role to some extent but because of their nature, I don't know how far/whether the likes of Oxbridge would take them into consideration. Because I know that the tutorial style teaching would suit me and am aware of the difference in quality of teaching between my firm and the two Gs that have offered me a place (one of which has the exact course I was rejected from and some other plus points but is ranked only 76 internationally), I can't get past losing my firm.

I want to go somewhere that will work me really hard, somewhere that has passionate lecturers and students, and I don't know whether a place like Birmingham will really give me that. I can't move onto the "next chapter of my life" if I can't shake the feeling that I'm somewhere I don't belong.

I've been crying for the past four days - if anyone can share their insights, I'd highly appreciate it.
(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1
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Reply 2
Sorry to hear about this, it must be a tough time for you.
Original post by kdkdkd575757
..how are you coping? Have you found an alternative place you like? What's your plan? How are you dealing knowing that you've ended up at a less prestigious place?

Because I'm absolutely crushed to bits, completely heartbroken. All I've wanted was a place at my uni
of choice (Durham) for a long time and don't think I deserve to feel like this much of a failure. I've performed well through
the years but produced disappointing results when it mattered the most; most of my classmates achieved at least one A* and are headed to Oxbridge, UCL and Imperial. Sure mitigating circumstances played a role to some extent but because of their nature, I don't know how far/whether the likes of Oxbridge would take them into consideration. Because I know that the tutorial style teaching would suit me and am aware of the difference in quality of teaching between my firm and the two Gs that have offered me a place (one of which has the exact course I was rejected from and some other plus points but is ranked only 76 internationally), I can't get past losing my firm.

I want to go somewhere that will work me really hard, somewhere that has passionate lecturers and students, and I don't know whether a place like Birmingham will really give me that. I can't move onto the "next chapter of my life" if I can't shake the feeling that I'm somewhere I don't belong.

I've been crying for the past four days - if anyone can share their insights, I'd highly appreciate it.


I got over it pretty fast tbh aha, just take life as it comes. And look at it this way, you have the potential to be top of the class and flourish, vs being average or below average.

Chin up, Birmingham is a great institution (at least better than where I ended up anyway), so just go in guns blazing.


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Reply 4
Last year my best friend missed her firm, Cambridge, and was just as heartbroken as you. In the end she went to study at her insurance, which she was unhappy about at first, but now she's made so many new friends, is active in countless societies, is crazy about her course and lecturers, she's pretty much forgotten that she ever missed her Cambridge offer.

I'm sure you'll meet passionate lecturers and students. Just because the university isn't as prestigious, it doesn't mean the people there aren't passionate about what they're doing.
Original post by Princepieman
I got over it pretty fast tbh aha, just take life as it comes. And look at it this way, you have the potential to be top of the class and flourish, vs being average or below average.

Chin up, Birmingham is a great institution (at least better than where I ended up anyway), so just go in guns blazing.


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You dont have to reply if you dont wish to, but what university did you end up going to?

Spoiler

Original post by LifeIsFine
You dont have to reply if you dont wish to, but what university did you end up going to?

Spoiler



PM me

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Reply 7
Original post by Princepieman
I got over it pretty fast tbh aha, just take life as it comes. And look at it this way, you have the potential to be top of the class and flourish, vs being average or below average.

Chin up, Birmingham is a great institution (at least better than where I ended up anyway), so just go in guns blazing.


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Thank you for your response. :smile: If you don't mind, what was your firm? Perhaps if I set my sights on a first, things may work out.
Reply 8
Original post by loletta
Last year my best friend missed her firm, Cambridge, and was just as heartbroken as you. In the end she went to study at her insurance, which she was unhappy about at first, but now she's made so many new friends, is active in countless societies, is crazy about her course and lecturers, she's pretty much forgotten that she ever missed her Cambridge offer.

I'm sure you'll meet passionate lecturers and students. Just because the university isn't as prestigious, it doesn't mean the people there aren't passionate about what they're doing.


Thank you for responding :smile:. Part of my problem is that I don't want to forget the opportunities I had with Durham - I sacrificed a lot to make academia my priority but it sounds like your best friend made the most of what she has, which is something I should also strive for.
.
Right now the prospect of a gap year fills me with hope - finding out today that UCL and St. Andrews also now offer similar variations of my course, it became apparent to me that my research wasn't as thorough as it should have been.
Original post by kdkdkd575757
Thank you for your response. :smile: If you don't mind, what was your firm? Perhaps if I set my sights on a first, things may work out.


Warwick. Exactly, that's the attitude :smile:

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Original post by kdkdkd575757
Thank you for responding :smile:. Part of my problem is that I don't want to forget the opportunities I had with Durham - I sacrificed a lot to make academia my priority but it sounds like your best friend made the most of what she has, which is something I should also strive for.
.
Right now the prospect of a gap year fills me with hope - finding out today that UCL and St. Andrews also now offer similar variations of my course, it became apparent to me that my research wasn't as thorough as it should have been.


There you go! You don't have to settle for Birmingham if you really don't want to and nothing's stopping you from taking a gap year and re-evaluating + having another go. Good luck.
Was Warwick not your first choice. What are you doing - maybe you ought to go elsewhere?
Original post by kdkdkd575757
Thank you for responding :smile:. Part of my problem is that I don't want to forget the opportunities I had with Durham - I sacrificed a lot to make academia my priority but it sounds like your best friend made the most of what she has, which is something I should also strive for.
.
Right now the prospect of a gap year fills me with hope - finding out today that UCL and St. Andrews also now offer similar variations of my course, it became apparent to me that my research wasn't as thorough as it should have been.


Just retake then. its only a year and much less than that before you will be revising proper. You cna guarantee there will be people on your course who got the grades good enough to go to Durham, but chose Birmingham.
Original post by tanyapotter
There you go! You don't have to settle for Birmingham if you really don't want to and nothing's stopping you from taking a gap year and re-evaluating + having another go. Good luck.


Thanks for responding :smile:. Except the chances of not improving. Mentioned a gap year to my Head of Sixth Form who said it was risky business; similarly the Exams Officer mentioned in passing that a few resitters had performed worse this year. Got to have a positive mindset though, and I guess if I know that these grades don't reflect my potential, then it's possible to do much better.
Another option is doing well in the first year and getting the relevant credits to request a transfer for Year 2. Obviously socially it might be detrimental because friends have been made in the first year, etc.
Original post by 999tigger
Just retake then. its only a year and much less than that before you will be revising proper. You cna guarantee there will be people on your course who got the grades good enough to go to Durham, but chose Birmingham.


True - the initial requirments as Durham were the same but dropped in Clearing because the course was undersubscribed. It's just that watching the youtube videos featuring undergrad students doing one of my subjects (joint honours) put me off a bit - I can't relate to them in terms of the way they relate their thinking (a second year using what I considered to be quite basic terms, for example) , which makes me think the Department at Bham attracts a different kind of student/doesn't nurture the kind of growth I'm keen on in one of my subjects.

Being around people who are generally smarter than yourself obviously constantly challenges and stretches you in a different way, and when your subject requires a lot of discussion, group work, etc this becomes more important...I believe this but I might be unconsciously romanticizing Durham or trying to find an excuse for taking a gap year because I'm disappointed with my options, I don't know.
Original post by kdkdkd575757
True - the initial requirments as Durham were the same but dropped in Clearing because the course was undersubscribed. It's just that watching the youtube videos featuring undergrad students doing one of my subjects (joint honours) put me off a bit - I can't relate to them in terms of the way they relate their thinking (a second year using what I considered to be quite basic terms, for example) , which makes me think the Department at Bham attracts a different kind of student/doesn't nurture the kind of growth I'm keen on in one of my subjects.

Being around people who are generally smarter than yourself obviously constantly challenges and stretches you in a different way, and when your subject requires a lot of discussion, group work, etc this becomes more important...I believe this but I might be unconsciously romanticizing Durham or trying to find an excuse for taking a gap year because I'm disappointed with my options, I don't know.


Lol, you watched one youtube vid and you're questioning the level of rigour of a university's department.

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Original post by kdkdkd575757
True - the initial requirments as Durham were the same but dropped in Clearing because the course was undersubscribed. It's just that watching the youtube videos featuring undergrad students doing one of my subjects (joint honours) put me off a bit - I can't relate to them in terms of the way they relate their thinking (a second year using what I considered to be quite basic terms, for example) , which makes me think the Department at Bham attracts a different kind of student/doesn't nurture the kind of growth I'm keen on in one of my subjects.

Being around people who are generally smarter than yourself obviously constantly challenges and stretches you in a different way, and when your subject requires a lot of discussion, group work, etc this becomes more important...I believe this but I might be unconsciously romanticizing Durham or trying to find an excuse for taking a gap year because I'm disappointed with my options, I don't know.



You come across as pretty full of yourself. Youd better becoming first in your year to justify such confidence. Yopu do gace the propsect that you think you are too good for Birmingham, in which case you should knuckle down, retake and get where you feel you belong.
Original post by kdkdkd575757
..how are you coping? Have you found an alternative place you like? What's your plan? How are you dealing knowing that you've ended up at a less prestigious place?

Because I'm absolutely crushed to bits, completely heartbroken. All I've wanted was a place at my uni
of choice (Durham) for a long time and don't think I deserve to feel like this much of a failure. I've performed well through
the years but produced disappointing results when it mattered the most; most of my classmates achieved at least one A* and are headed to Oxbridge, UCL and Imperial. Sure mitigating circumstances played a role to some extent but because of their nature, I don't know how far/whether the likes of Oxbridge would take them into consideration. Because I know that the tutorial style teaching would suit me and am aware of the difference in quality of teaching between my firm and the two Gs that have offered me a place (one of which has the exact course I was rejected from and some other plus points but is ranked only 76 internationally), I can't get past losing my firm.

I want to go somewhere that will work me really hard, somewhere that has passionate lecturers and students, and I don't know whether a place like Birmingham will really give me that. I can't move onto the "next chapter of my life" if I can't shake the feeling that I'm somewhere I don't belong.

I've been crying for the past four days - if anyone can share their insights, I'd highly appreciate it.


"A place like Birmingham," I don't know why you're lost in this deluded reality where going to the UoB is rock bottom. It is a fantastic University with great graduate prospects. Remember, you can't polish a turd, so going to Oxbridge or Durham won't give you automatic prestige. I understand you had your heart set on Durham, but that's no reason to slander and generalise the UoB students based off of a video you saw on Youtube. Furthermore, you criticise the Uob for only being "76 internationally," but Durham is ranked 61, and was ranked 27 places below the Uob in 2014. This might be harsh, but personally I feel you need to take your head out of your own arse and stop thinking you are so much better than everyone else because you are not. I guarantee you would meet a myriad of people who are far more intelligent than you at the UoB while, people that use what you "[consider] to be quite basic terms," at Durham. Stop being so close minded, seriously. If you aren't happy, do something about it like the kind people have suggested. University is not just about grades and prestige. Best of luck.
Original post by Princepieman
Lol, you watched one youtube vid and you're questioning the level of rigour of a university's department.

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That's not it at all. Watching several videos featuring the campus, numerous testimonials/experiences of students, etc does give you a flavour of what life is like there, and I want to be absolutely sure I'll enjoy my experience before I commit four years of my life to it.
Original post by Anonymous
"A place like Birmingham," I don't know why you're lost in this deluded reality where going to the UoB is rock bottom. It is a fantastic University with great graduate prospects. Remember, you can't polish a turd, so going to Oxbridge or Durham won't give you automatic prestige. I understand you had your heart set on Durham, but that's no reason to slander and generalise the UoB students based off of a video you saw on Youtube. Furthermore, you criticise the Uob for only being "76 internationally," but Durham is ranked 61, and was ranked 27 places below the Uob in 2014. This might be harsh, but personally I feel you need to take your head out of your own arse and stop thinking you are so much better than everyone else because you are not. I guarantee you would meet a myriad of people who are far more intelligent than you at the UoB while, people that use what you "[consider] to be quite basic terms," at Durham. Stop being so close minded, seriously. If you aren't happy, do something about it like the kind people have suggested. University is not just about grades and prestige. Best of luck.


No slandering/generalising going on - I was simply relating one of my obervations. Of course I realise that Birmingham is a great place, me questioning whether it's for me has nothing to do with any kind of deluded perception that I'm better than anyone else - I don't harbour these kinds of thoughts. Since I'm a resident f Bham and quite familar with its character, I was also just hoping at uni to meet completely different types of people, which again has nothing to do with me not likeing Birmingham but just wanting change.

I agree, I need to do something about the fact that I'm not happy - one of my options is a gap year and by creating this discussion I was hoping to hear how people made their decisions/whether they're happy with them moving forward so that maybe I could think about my future a little differently.

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