Lazy housemates are doing my head in
I've lived with my current housemates for 8 months now and we get on really well, they're nice girls but lately I've found myself getting really annoyed at little things they do (or don't do!). Just an example - I was away this weekend and before I left I noticed the bin was quite full (I change it every single time so thought seeing as I'm away for a few days I'll leave it for someone else to deal with). We had also run out of bin bags. I texted my housemate to say I've noticed we need more bin bags and see you next week sort of thing.*
Anyway stayed at my boyfriends last night and didn't get back till after work today. My one housemate is working part time and had been in all day - fair enough she had emptied the dishwasher and maybe wiped some of the kitchen but I asked if she had picked up bin bags and she said no. The bin at this point is overflowing and stinks and the bag is all broken and there's bin juice everywhere.*
So I suggest we get some bin bags urgently - as its bin day tomorrow. Rather than offer to go and get them (about a 15 min walk to the shop) she just agrees with me and carries on with what she is doing. Then informs me she is going out for dinner any minute. So it's left for me to do. She's still there when I get back and doesn't offer to help with the vile bin, nor apologise for my having to do all this when I've just got in the door.*
Anyway, it's just little things like this keep happening all the time and it's making me feel like I'm turning into a psycho. I'm not very assertive or confrontational so I don't feel comfortable saying anything in case it comes across as *****y. How can I handle this?
Anyway stayed at my boyfriends last night and didn't get back till after work today. My one housemate is working part time and had been in all day - fair enough she had emptied the dishwasher and maybe wiped some of the kitchen but I asked if she had picked up bin bags and she said no. The bin at this point is overflowing and stinks and the bag is all broken and there's bin juice everywhere.*
So I suggest we get some bin bags urgently - as its bin day tomorrow. Rather than offer to go and get them (about a 15 min walk to the shop) she just agrees with me and carries on with what she is doing. Then informs me she is going out for dinner any minute. So it's left for me to do. She's still there when I get back and doesn't offer to help with the vile bin, nor apologise for my having to do all this when I've just got in the door.*
Anyway, it's just little things like this keep happening all the time and it's making me feel like I'm turning into a psycho. I'm not very assertive or confrontational so I don't feel comfortable saying anything in case it comes across as *****y. How can I handle this?
Nothing worse than living with lazy people who dont get the housework done
Original post by Anonymous
I've lived with my current housemates for 8 months now and we get on really well, they're nice girls but lately I've found myself getting really annoyed at little things they do (or don't do!). Just an example - I was away this weekend and before I left I noticed the bin was quite full (I change it every single time so thought seeing as I'm away for a few days I'll leave it for someone else to deal with). We had also run out of bin bags. I texted my housemate to say I've noticed we need more bin bags and see you next week sort of thing.*
Anyway stayed at my boyfriends last night and didn't get back till after work today. My one housemate is working part time and had been in all day - fair enough she had emptied the dishwasher and maybe wiped some of the kitchen but I asked if she had picked up bin bags and she said no. The bin at this point is overflowing and stinks and the bag is all broken and there's bin juice everywhere.*
So I suggest we get some bin bags urgently - as its bin day tomorrow. Rather than offer to go and get them (about a 15 min walk to the shop) she just agrees with me and carries on with what she is doing. Then informs me she is going out for dinner any minute. So it's left for me to do. She's still there when I get back and doesn't offer to help with the vile bin, nor apologise for my having to do all this when I've just got in the door.*
Anyway, it's just little things like this keep happening all the time and it's making me feel like I'm turning into a psycho. I'm not very assertive or confrontational so I don't feel comfortable saying anything in case it comes across as *****y. How can I handle this?
Anyway stayed at my boyfriends last night and didn't get back till after work today. My one housemate is working part time and had been in all day - fair enough she had emptied the dishwasher and maybe wiped some of the kitchen but I asked if she had picked up bin bags and she said no. The bin at this point is overflowing and stinks and the bag is all broken and there's bin juice everywhere.*
So I suggest we get some bin bags urgently - as its bin day tomorrow. Rather than offer to go and get them (about a 15 min walk to the shop) she just agrees with me and carries on with what she is doing. Then informs me she is going out for dinner any minute. So it's left for me to do. She's still there when I get back and doesn't offer to help with the vile bin, nor apologise for my having to do all this when I've just got in the door.*
Anyway, it's just little things like this keep happening all the time and it's making me feel like I'm turning into a psycho. I'm not very assertive or confrontational so I don't feel comfortable saying anything in case it comes across as *****y. How can I handle this?
Ah i'm worried about this sort of thing when i start uni as I hate living in a dirty, sloppy place yet I don't want to be cleaning up after people all the time.
My advice is make a point (in a non petty way). Ignore the bin (however hard this is gunna be), it will get really gross and someone else will say something and you'd be like 'oh i've been away, had no one done it since?'(real calmly like you hadn't noticed. So they learn not to rely on you to do it all the time and actually consider doing it. Because with gross things everyone hopes that someone else will just do it and if you have then they will just expect you to.
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Original post by LillyB14
Ah i'm worried about this sort of thing when i start uni as I hate living in a dirty, sloppy place yet I don't want to be cleaning up after people all the time.
My advice is make a point (in a non petty way). Ignore the bin (however hard this is gunna be), it will get really gross and someone else will say something and you'd be like 'oh i've been away, had no one done it since?'(real calmly like you hadn't noticed. So they learn not to rely on you to do it all the time and actually consider doing it. Because with gross things everyone hopes that someone else will just do it and if you have then they will just expect you to.
Posted from TSR Mobile
My advice is make a point (in a non petty way). Ignore the bin (however hard this is gunna be), it will get really gross and someone else will say something and you'd be like 'oh i've been away, had no one done it since?'(real calmly like you hadn't noticed. So they learn not to rely on you to do it all the time and actually consider doing it. Because with gross things everyone hopes that someone else will just do it and if you have then they will just expect you to.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Why didn't YOU empty the bins? Why didn't YOU buy the bin bags?
Original post by #ChaosKass
Why didn't YOU empty the bins? Why didn't YOU buy the bin bags?
since we have moved in I've done it every single time -plus I wasn't even there this weekend? If I had been I would have undoubtedly done it*
Original post by Anonymous
since we have moved in I've done it every single time -plus I wasn't even there this weekend? If I had been I would have undoubtedly done it*
Ignore that poster.
I was in the same position as you at uni and sometimes I'd refuse to do it for up to a week to see if anyone else did, they almost never did. Unfortunately it got to the point where I just did it all the time, it annoyed me so much but I couldn't bare to live in the state they were happy living in.
Tell me about it, living in halls last year the bin was the number one complaint I had. I took the bins out every time save for twice and even then I had to set up the new bin bag.
I would go home every other weekend, returning to 6 or so bin bags that hadn't been removed due to my departure. Christmas was the worst, I was the first to go home, as my course finished before everyone else's and I wasn't staying in that flat longer than I needed to. Anyway when I came back, behold plates consumed the sink, 11 bin bags and for whatever reason cereal everywhere.
Two of my flatmates had left (thank god) but decided to not clean up at all. Even leaving their dirty plates. I was the first back so I had to once again clean the kitchen. (I couldn't stand it for a minute) Thankfully that's all in the past now and I get to live with clean people, who actually have standards.
I would go home every other weekend, returning to 6 or so bin bags that hadn't been removed due to my departure. Christmas was the worst, I was the first to go home, as my course finished before everyone else's and I wasn't staying in that flat longer than I needed to. Anyway when I came back, behold plates consumed the sink, 11 bin bags and for whatever reason cereal everywhere.
Two of my flatmates had left (thank god) but decided to not clean up at all. Even leaving their dirty plates. I was the first back so I had to once again clean the kitchen. (I couldn't stand it for a minute) Thankfully that's all in the past now and I get to live with clean people, who actually have standards.
Original post by #ChaosKass
Why didn't YOU empty the bins? Why didn't YOU buy the bin bags?
It's that kind of thinking I guess that left me doing everything in the flat right? Far from helpful, don't you think?
you've got a few choices:
1. you stop dropping hints and straight up sit everyone down and say you feel like you're the only one doing the bin, can we put a rota in place so it's one person's responsibility each week/we take it in turns - this may or may not work depending on how much your flatmates care what you think and there's a chance they may all get upset and gang up against you for it
2. stop doing the bin full stop and wait til they realise that sometimes they have to do things themselves, if you want to be very high and mighty you could even put your own rubbish in a separate bin in your room so they can't complain as it's then only their mess
3. keep doing the bin because the likelihood is you're not going to get very far and at least then the bin is not gross and you don't end up leaving it 2 weeks and just having a bigger mess to clear up
1. you stop dropping hints and straight up sit everyone down and say you feel like you're the only one doing the bin, can we put a rota in place so it's one person's responsibility each week/we take it in turns - this may or may not work depending on how much your flatmates care what you think and there's a chance they may all get upset and gang up against you for it
2. stop doing the bin full stop and wait til they realise that sometimes they have to do things themselves, if you want to be very high and mighty you could even put your own rubbish in a separate bin in your room so they can't complain as it's then only their mess
3. keep doing the bin because the likelihood is you're not going to get very far and at least then the bin is not gross and you don't end up leaving it 2 weeks and just having a bigger mess to clear up
Original post by #ChaosKass
Why didn't YOU empty the bins? Why didn't YOU buy the bin bags?
Why should he? See my post re: growing up.
Original post by doodle_333
you've got a few choices:
1. you stop dropping hints and straight up sit everyone down and say you feel like you're the only one doing the bin, can we put a rota in place so it's one person's responsibility each week/we take it in turns - this may or may not work depending on how much your flatmates care what you think and there's a chance they may all get upset and gang up against you for it
2. stop doing the bin full stop and wait til they realise that sometimes they have to do things themselves, if you want to be very high and mighty you could even put your own rubbish in a separate bin in your room so they can't complain as it's then only their mess
3. keep doing the bin because the likelihood is you're not going to get very far and at least then the bin is not gross and you don't end up leaving it 2 weeks and just having a bigger mess to clear up
1. you stop dropping hints and straight up sit everyone down and say you feel like you're the only one doing the bin, can we put a rota in place so it's one person's responsibility each week/we take it in turns - this may or may not work depending on how much your flatmates care what you think and there's a chance they may all get upset and gang up against you for it
2. stop doing the bin full stop and wait til they realise that sometimes they have to do things themselves, if you want to be very high and mighty you could even put your own rubbish in a separate bin in your room so they can't complain as it's then only their mess
3. keep doing the bin because the likelihood is you're not going to get very far and at least then the bin is not gross and you don't end up leaving it 2 weeks and just having a bigger mess to clear up
You are spot on.. As a mum of 7, no shirkers. And your No.1 choice is the best one.
Original post by Seamus123
Because part of the transition from home and going to university is learning to live in harmony with other people and that includes doing your fair share of the work.
It's called growing up.
It's called growing up.
we're not at uni though we've all graduated and are between ages 22-24!
Do they do other work around he house like cleaning the bathroom or are you left to do that as well? Because if you are you need to sit them down and talk to them
Original post by Pinkberry_y
Do they do other work around he house like cleaning the bathroom or are you left to do that as well? Because if you are you need to sit them down and talk to them
they've cleaned it a bit when we've had people to stay but I'd say I clean it the most. Plus I usually do the little things like change the bin in there, change the loo roll... otherwise there is a pile of cardboard tube thingies ... get the hair out the plug hole (never mine might I add - my hair is a different colour than the other two).*
Original post by Seamus123
It's the same difference. If it's keeping the peace, just keep letting the treat you like a mug because it will blow up in your face one day. Best to get it sorted now before that happens.
why will it blow up in my face? I'm not planning on living here forever lol*
Original post by doodle_333
you've got a few choices:
1. you stop dropping hints and straight up sit everyone down and say you feel like you're the only one doing the bin, can we put a rota in place so it's one person's responsibility each week/we take it in turns - this may or may not work depending on how much your flatmates care what you think and there's a chance they may all get upset and gang up against you for it
2. stop doing the bin full stop and wait til they realise that sometimes they have to do things themselves, if you want to be very high and mighty you could even put your own rubbish in a separate bin in your room so they can't complain as it's then only their mess
3. keep doing the bin because the likelihood is you're not going to get very far and at least then the bin is not gross and you don't end up leaving it 2 weeks and just having a bigger mess to clear up
1. you stop dropping hints and straight up sit everyone down and say you feel like you're the only one doing the bin, can we put a rota in place so it's one person's responsibility each week/we take it in turns - this may or may not work depending on how much your flatmates care what you think and there's a chance they may all get upset and gang up against you for it
2. stop doing the bin full stop and wait til they realise that sometimes they have to do things themselves, if you want to be very high and mighty you could even put your own rubbish in a separate bin in your room so they can't complain as it's then only their mess
3. keep doing the bin because the likelihood is you're not going to get very far and at least then the bin is not gross and you don't end up leaving it 2 weeks and just having a bigger mess to clear up
Actually the best comment yet. I would go with option 2 as I hate confrontation too.
So to update this ancient thread - it's been a few months and since then we've had conversations about how messy the house gets.
I was having a bad day a couple months back so decided to confront one of my housemates (housemate 1) .The other housemate (housemate 2) had spilled makeup on the mantelpiece and left it there, staining the wood - (which to this day she hasn't acknowledged, apologised for or attempted to clean up) so I said something to housemate 1 when it was just me and her.
What she said completely threw me. I made some off the cuff comment about how messy the house looked and she said "oh is it? I don't really notice". And that was that. She doesn't care, mess doesn't bother her and she has no inclination to clean. Since then on every weekend I've been home I've cleaned the house top to bottom to make a point - giving up an entire day to do this. Out of doing this around 5 times I've had ONE comment from them saying "thanks for cleaning".
I've had enough of this.
I was having a bad day a couple months back so decided to confront one of my housemates (housemate 1) .The other housemate (housemate 2) had spilled makeup on the mantelpiece and left it there, staining the wood - (which to this day she hasn't acknowledged, apologised for or attempted to clean up) so I said something to housemate 1 when it was just me and her.
What she said completely threw me. I made some off the cuff comment about how messy the house looked and she said "oh is it? I don't really notice". And that was that. She doesn't care, mess doesn't bother her and she has no inclination to clean. Since then on every weekend I've been home I've cleaned the house top to bottom to make a point - giving up an entire day to do this. Out of doing this around 5 times I've had ONE comment from them saying "thanks for cleaning".
I've had enough of this.
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