(he's not drinking or on drugs)
My dad is really controlling and is verbally abusive towards me and my younger siblings. He loves to have complete control. It doesn't matter if my mum says yes to something, if my dad says no, it's no. My siblings consist of a 7 year old, 12 year old and me, 15 years old. He is worse on me and my 12 year old brother, constantly throwing verbal abuse at us and he hits my brother.
I haven't been to a friend's house since i was in year 1...yep YEAR 1! I have never been allowed to go out and meet friends in town or anything! I still don't have a phone either. As i am moving into year 11 in September, i have to start thinking about colleges to apply to. There are 2 potential ones that i want to go to, but my dad is saying no and has no way of changing his mind. He wants me to go to a stupid sixth form down the road from us and it is absolutely terrible! The sixth form has been known for people doing drugs, getting bad grades and teachers have been caught having relationships with students and it doesn't even have the courses i want to do. The colleges that i want to go to are amazing and the complete opposite of the sixth form.
So i talked to my dad about it today. He started saying that "we can't afford the bus fare." So i was like "Okay then you can drive me or i can get a lift with a friend." and he shouted at me saying "I am not driving you and you are not getting a lift. I wont allow it." I got annoyed and said "Your just wanting me to go to the sixth form." And i walked off. Then he said "YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE THE REST OF THE FAMILY SUFFER!"
I cried for a little.
That's not the only thing he does. As i have said he hits my brother but he also threatens. The other day my brother was making some silly noises and my dad got up and put his fist in his face and shouted "If you carry on this will be going in you're face! And if i punch you your head will be knocked off your shoulders." I got a bit worried about even saying anything to him in case i got threatened with that scenario too.
This same kind of thing happened to my 7 year old brother when we were shopping. My brother likes to sit in the trolley if we go shopping. Me and my other brother were with my mum and suddenly we heard my brother scream and start crying. My mum rushed over to see what happened and he said my dad hit him. Obviously he completely denied it as we were in the middle of a shop. We went to the car to get away from him and as soon as my dad got in the car he was like "IF YOU EVER TRY TO GET ME IN TO TROUBLE AGAIN YOU ARE GONNA GET IT!"
Last year, was the year that my mum finally persuaded my dad to let me wear a skirt to school. Yep, he would not allow me to wear any form of skirt to school, no matter what the weather was. People used to always try to get me to get my dad to let me wear a skirt but that always resulted in me getting shouted at.
A few years back (probably about 2 or 3), my dad put cameras in mine and my brother's rooms to see what we were doing. It made me feel so uncomfortable knowing that i had no privacy anywhere (seeing as im not allowed to even leave the house to go to town or visit friends) but i couldn't do anything about it. He finally took it away about a year ago, but then plugged our TV's into a plug timer thing so that our TV went off at a certain time (about 9:00pm). I now have to go to bed at 8:30 pm...It's pathetic.
Finally, i once stood up to my dad. He was shouting at my brother for literally nothing as soon as we got in from school. I had had enough and i shouted "STOP! JUST STOP SHOUTING AT HIM!" and then i ran up to my room crying. He shouted me downstairs angrily and he kept giving me disgusted looks, looking as if he wanted to hit me. He didn't (Thank GOD).
The things my dad says to us are:
"Shut up!!"
"Thick head!"
"Idiot!"
"Disgusting!"
"You really are stupid!"
"It's because she's fat"
And other stuff.
I hate how controlling he is. Knowing that our problems are dismissed as being "stupid overreactions" and that we aren't allowed to express our emotions or even have the freedom to be independent. My mum says that she hates it too, that she has no problem with me going out, seeing friends but if my dad says no, it's no. I think my mum is too scared to stand up to him because she has a few times and he just absolutely rejects the idea that he is in the wrong. My Dad doesn't hit my mum but he sometimes shouts at her.
I don't know what to do anymore. I can't talk to him about how he makes me feel because it will just result in a loud argument of him being the boss and me being the child and that he is always in the right. I really need some advice ASAP because i don't know how much longer i can take this.
Thank you x