Ugly and Gay?

You little *****, how dare you Just kidding *ruffles your hair angrily* Damn kids......... What do you mean old?! Just wait til you're my age. I still feel like a teenager, and I actually look like one too, they won't even sell me scratchcards without id lol



Well, 'a part of it' - exactly. So even if you make yourself look like a model, it might not work. Still I say, just give it a try, and put the effort in and get yourself a hot body.

Yeah fair enough, I guess that is the only thing to do now. ****, well I know for sure that its gonna take years for my fat ass.

bit old isn't it.

Bit old for what?

Haha! I'm sure it'll be fine. Apparently it's easier than if you're very skinny. Personally I'm super skinny. I used to be soo into working out /martial arts but even then I wasn't super ripped, just really athletic. Now I don't really give a **** though, I'm too tired and skinny ***** look kinda suits me.

Yeah, it is. Unfortunately I'm a fat ****er so I'm gonna have to figure out how to loose ass this weight. And that is actually pretty cool, a lot of good athletic peoole aren't necessarily ripped, they're just really healthy

Are you eating healthily? Even gym won't help if your eating habits are bad.

I'm trying to eat healthily. I can sometimes binge during depressive episodes and like now how I am I can sometimes use food to make me feel better. Me and food haven't had the best relationship.

OP, you're literally me. You're absolutely right, gay men have ridiculously high standards compared to straight women. But, we do have sub-cultures where guys of all shapes and sizes are appreciated. As for IG guys, the ones that aren't taking steroids don't actually look that amazing, it's just really good lighting and angles. Some of their physiques aren't unattainable, you just have to be willing to put the effort in to look like that, but that's only if you want too. Yes, theres probably going to be guys that look better than you, but theres also really happily married gay men that look a lot worse than you. Point is, someone WILL find you attractive (and body shape doesn't really matter too much, but you're right, you'll probably be more desirable if you have abs and muscles).

That's not good. Maybe always workout after binge-eating?

Yeah I guess so. I dunno, the way I see it no matter if I got a good body or not my face would be a real turn off to guys and even then, like my dick size is laughable so even a good body won't change that. To be honest, I kinda just given up, if I get a bf or not I'll be expected to marry a female anyway. I'm just really tired and exhausted of hiding you know?

Yeah I guess so. I dunno, the way I see it no matter if I got a good body or not my face would be a real turn off to guys and even then, like my dick size is laughable so even a good body won't change that. To be honest, I kinda just given up, if I get a bf or not I'll be expected to marry a female anyway. I'm just really tired and exhausted of hiding you know?



I probably will do, or I just won't eat for a day after a binge. I'll have to punish myself or something.

When I say I completely understand where you're coming from, I really do. Honestly, there are some guys that don't give a **** about your dick size. I was also raised in a Muslim household and still live with the expectation that I'm going to marry a female. I'm also really tired of hiding, not being yourself is surprisingly really difficult. I'm just waiting to move out and live my life the way I want too. Maybe you should consider doing the same, maybe you'll be a lot happier.

That won't work (not eating for a day). You'll only make it worse in the long run. Not just saying this. I kind of had a form of ED in the past so I know the mechanics of it. But yeah, exercising after it would be a good idea. You can still eat some unhealthy stuff, but the key is to eat mostly healthy stuff.

Ahh I see what you mean and yeah I'll probably have to do that for a bit now. Annoying really. I just wanna make myself stop eating that much in the past.

Oh wow okay I didn't relise how muhc you understood me. That's what I was considering a few years ago but thought how when I grow older and if I move out my parents are like to move on and not being invited and not knowing my own parents are dead woukd be one of the worst things to ever happen. I've kinda decided that I am either going to live celibate for the rest of my life or I am going to have to marry a woman. If I can make people think I am okay with my depression then I should be okay with her.

The thing is i never want to leave Islam, it's the only reason why I am still here and didn't end my life years ago. I want to practice my religion and so that might come at a sacrifice and plus, not many are interested in me anyway so it wouldn't really matter .

Good luck. My last piece of advice to you is to join some form of online community support for people who want to lose weight (just avoid the all male groups obsessed with proteins and steroids) and stop looking at so many IG photoshopped guys.

I'm 21 right now, and I've been through the same train of thought. Personally, I made the decision that Islam wasn't for me, but don't let anybody make decisions for you. If you find it fulfilling to practice Islam, keep doing that. But consider whether marrying a woman is fair on her; is it morally ok to marry a woman who wants a husband who's going to be able to commit mentally and physically, and will you be able to do that for her? Again, I was just like you a few years ago and thought about marrying a woman, but ultimately decided against it. As for your parents, I honestly have no answer for you. I love my parents and still think about how badly they're going to take my coming out. Anyway man, best of luck!

That's what I semi say to myself at times but realise that I'm probably going to end up dying alone and that to me doesn't bother me much, I'd rather die than live to be quiet honest with you. I guess so it is. It's just annoying you know? Not being able to actually find someone. Like my friend who is 15 has already began talking to someone for a month now and he was talking to another guy and before that he was hooking up and he had so many people look at him in the street it actually irritates me at times.

I want to be optimistic but all I can think is that I doubt that they're going to be someones perfections.

Your friend has nothing to do with you. I too, know a lot of girls/boys who go around hooking up with other people but what does that have to do with me? At the end of the day, it's their choice to be like that. You have a choice to be like that too, no matter what you look like. You can use dating sites, and all sorts of social media but sometimes you gotta ask yourself how the hell does that gratify you as an individual?
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The most 'ideal' individuals are opt to behave the way they're described but imagine you did have all the beauty in the world, what makes you think you'd find the happiness you're seeking for now? Nobody would be perfect enough for you.
Listen. When the right time comes, the right guy will come too. Be patient, you don't have to change anything about yourself, the right person will love every SINGLE imperfection of yours. Just be patient. It is a key.

Mark my words when I tell you that you will one day thrive above everyone but this will only happen when you start respecting yourself. You can't expect people to respect you if you don't respect your own self. Don't get yourself into a relationship unless you realise where your true beauty lies, and that in fact, is your heart. You're damn sexy, man. F*ck what people think. You're f*ckin beautiful.