I am an 18-year-old female; jobless(HOW DO I GET A JOB), lifeless, scared for the unknown and unmotivated.
I feel lonely in the sense that everybody i know seems to be moving on in life, be it that they are going to university in September or just have their life planned out.
I also have self-esteem issues which also impact me a lot.
I am socially awkward. I have next to no friends and i guess i am just depressed about life.
I don't like my height, i look 12, 13 at most, although it depends on what i am wearing mostly.
I just know if ANY man will take an interest in me.
Will i be lonely for ever?
I am not the most ambitious person.
In fact i lack motivation most of the time.
I hated school, came out with bad grades and now do BTEC in the hope of being a child nurse one day.
I just feel like i am inadequate for everything really, from school to general life.
I sometimes feel jealous of my siblings(older and younger sister) a) they are smarter than me b)they excel academically more than me. They did not have to do BTEC.
I just don't want people looking down on me as a person.
I feel like my life is a mess and that i won't amount to anything.
Lots of people look down on BTEC and think nursing is a poor career to be in.
I know that it does not matter what people think as my self worth should come from my own happiness but its hard when people ask me what you study and i say "BTEC health and social care". It just makes it seem like you are not clever enough or that was the course you had to do.
I need help, how can i regain back my dignity?
Any advice??