Terrified about university
Hi, so I'm terrified about going to university. I know many people feel the same way but I really struggle making good friends and like going out don't get me wrong but no excessively. I also know I'm going to get very home sick and was wondering what is the best way to overcome all of this? I just don't feel like I'm ready to go
Original post by MelissaaC
Hi, so I'm terrified about going to university. I know many people feel the same way but I really struggle making good friends and like going out don't get me wrong but no excessively. I also know I'm going to get very home sick and was wondering what is the best way to overcome all of this? I just don't feel like I'm ready to go
Be yourself.
Most important in regards to homesickness... don't go home. Go on holidays when everyone else does, or special occasions but otherwise stay away. Don't be tempted to go home every week. A girl I knew did, we stopped seeing her, she was miserable and I still have no clue what happened to her.
Stick through it and get involved, societies and all.
Everyone feels the same as you, and the quicker you realise that the better
Original post by MelissaaC
Hi, so I'm terrified about going to university. I know many people feel the same way but I really struggle making good friends and like going out don't get me wrong but no excessively. I also know I'm going to get very home sick and was wondering what is the best way to overcome all of this? I just don't feel like I'm ready to go
stay in contact with your family and friends so you don't feel lonely. just be yourself at uni and you'll make plenty of friends.
My sister is currently in the same boat as you. Since results day, she's been extremely anxious and upset about the prospect of leaving home. Sometimes it's hard to believe when people tell you that everyone's in the same boat, but you are, it's just that everyone responds to and copes with that feeling differently and some feel it more extremely than others.
It's really important to do what is right for you individually.
There are so many ways I can reassure you about going to university and leaving home. I found it really hard at first but eventually uni becomes a home away from home and stops being scary. A lot of changes happen in the transition from school to university and they can feel really intimidating before you go. Please know that what you are feeling is completely normal.
If you feel that a gap year is what's best for you, then take one. No one will judge you or think less of you for it. If you feel like you'd be just as scared and anxious after a gap year, then try going to university for a term and seeing how you get on, if you hate it, then it probably isn't right for you and you can leave and try again next year. It's important for you to know that you will always have an escape. No one is forcing you to stay there forever, your life is in your hands. I would recommend trying to stay there for at least the first two weeks, then if you still really want to go home, you can. No one is stopping you but yourself. You might miss out on things at uni, but at the end of the day it's your personal choice. If you're worried about making friends, the short answer is: don't. There are so many students on campus that you are guaranteed to find someone who has similar interests to you. Join societies and fill up your time with extra curricular activities instead of worrying about home. Make the most of your time there because it's really over in an instant.
Know that you won't actually be there for long, three years sounds long, but factor in the month-long holiday breaks and early summer and your academic year is almost less than half a year. It may help you to research anxiety on the NHS website and elsewhere as there are lots of effective ways of coping with it and looking at the feeling as something treatable can help you to relieve some of the stress and worry.
Stay calm, keep busy, and buy some photo frames and posters to make your room your own. It will only feel unfamiliar for a short time, and you'll always be in contact with your loved ones. <3 Hope this helps you!
It's really important to do what is right for you individually.
There are so many ways I can reassure you about going to university and leaving home. I found it really hard at first but eventually uni becomes a home away from home and stops being scary. A lot of changes happen in the transition from school to university and they can feel really intimidating before you go. Please know that what you are feeling is completely normal.
If you feel that a gap year is what's best for you, then take one. No one will judge you or think less of you for it. If you feel like you'd be just as scared and anxious after a gap year, then try going to university for a term and seeing how you get on, if you hate it, then it probably isn't right for you and you can leave and try again next year. It's important for you to know that you will always have an escape. No one is forcing you to stay there forever, your life is in your hands. I would recommend trying to stay there for at least the first two weeks, then if you still really want to go home, you can. No one is stopping you but yourself. You might miss out on things at uni, but at the end of the day it's your personal choice. If you're worried about making friends, the short answer is: don't. There are so many students on campus that you are guaranteed to find someone who has similar interests to you. Join societies and fill up your time with extra curricular activities instead of worrying about home. Make the most of your time there because it's really over in an instant.
Know that you won't actually be there for long, three years sounds long, but factor in the month-long holiday breaks and early summer and your academic year is almost less than half a year. It may help you to research anxiety on the NHS website and elsewhere as there are lots of effective ways of coping with it and looking at the feeling as something treatable can help you to relieve some of the stress and worry.
Stay calm, keep busy, and buy some photo frames and posters to make your room your own. It will only feel unfamiliar for a short time, and you'll always be in contact with your loved ones. <3 Hope this helps you!
Original post by amylaraman
stay in contact with your family and friends so you don't feel lonely. just be yourself at uni and you'll make plenty of friends.
That's the worst advice. I was myself at school and all my teachers and students alike hated me.First impressions are important. You have to pretend to be nice and charismatic in the beginning, like showing them that you care. Once you get on good terms, you can go back to being in your skin and be yourself.
Original post by MelissaaC
Hi, so I'm terrified about going to university. I know many people feel the same way but I really struggle making good friends and like going out don't get me wrong but no excessively. I also know I'm going to get very home sick and was wondering what is the best way to overcome all of this? I just don't feel like I'm ready to go
Definitely agree with the not going home part. i barely went home in first term and it helped with home sickness a lot as it made me more immersed in uni life. Whereas second term I went home more and definitely made me feel as if I was missing out more and made me feel more isolated
Original post by alevez2ez
That's the worst advice. I was myself at school and all my teachers and students alike hated me.First impressions are important. You have to pretend to be nice and charismatic in the beginning, like showing them that you care. Once you get on good terms, you can go back to being in your skin and be yourself.
Eek! That probably isn't the best advice in the world either... 'Pretending' to be someone you're not will just create a very false group of friends around you, and when they are gone the cycle will just continue. School is very exclusive and is a small group of clashing personalities. At university, there are thousands of students from all walks of life and the likelihood of you meeting someone with the same interests and personality as you is extremely high.
Back to the original poster - I am also starting uni this year but I'm trying to think of the positive aspects in this nerve-wracking build up. Uni will help you to be the very best version of yourself. Relax, breathe, and good luck.
Original post by hattie_creese
Eek! That probably isn't the best advice in the world either... 'Pretending' to be someone you're not will just create a very false group of friends around you, and when they are gone the cycle will just continue. School is very exclusive and is a small group of clashing personalities. At university, there are thousands of students from all walks of life and the likelihood of you meeting someone with the same interests and personality as you is extremely high.
Back to the original poster - I am also starting uni this year but I'm trying to think of the positive aspects in this nerve-wracking build up. Uni will help you to be the very best version of yourself. Relax, breathe, and good luck.
Back to the original poster - I am also starting uni this year but I'm trying to think of the positive aspects in this nerve-wracking build up. Uni will help you to be the very best version of yourself. Relax, breathe, and good luck.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4273664
I made this thread seeking help in how to seem less of myself so that I can make more friends. I speak with experience when I said that because it really is a bad advice. Most people have a mindset when coming into university, the idea of forming friendships and being freindly from the very start.
Back in school I was unable to cheat through my friends because of my attitude until we became good friends after years was when I was let in.Since cheating in uni will most likely result in expulsion, I will for your sake, be myself throughout the beginning and update you on my progress on that thread. I am already sure I know the results but it wouldn't hurt for me to be myself while trying to prove someone wrong on the internet, even though that hardly matters.
Original post by MelissaaC
Hi, so I'm terrified about going to university. I know many people feel the same way but I really struggle making good friends and like going out don't get me wrong but no excessively. I also know I'm going to get very home sick and was wondering what is the best way to overcome all of this? I just don't feel like I'm ready to go
Plenty of people in the same boat.
As above be yourself, be sociable or at least dont be shy in talking to people. Smile a bit of you can.
You wont have to go out excessively in fact you wont have to do anyting you dont want to.
Homesick you cna use social media plus skype. You can also go home or people can visit. Once you are settled then you will feel much less need to.
Look of it as a wholly positive where you get to make new friends and experience doing new fun things. Go with an open mind instead of worrying about tings that are unlikely to happen.
Original post by alevez2ez
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4273664
I made this thread seeking help in how to seem less of myself so that I can make more friends. I speak with experience when I said that because it really is a bad advice. Most people have a mindset when coming into university, the idea of forming friendships and being freindly from the very start.
Back in school I was unable to cheat through my friends because of my attitude until we became good friends after years was when I was let in.Since cheating in uni will most likely result in expulsion, I will for your sake, be myself throughout the beginning and update you on my progress on that thread. I am already sure I know the results but it wouldn't hurt for me to be myself while trying to prove someone wrong on the internet, even though that hardly matters.
I made this thread seeking help in how to seem less of myself so that I can make more friends. I speak with experience when I said that because it really is a bad advice. Most people have a mindset when coming into university, the idea of forming friendships and being freindly from the very start.
Back in school I was unable to cheat through my friends because of my attitude until we became good friends after years was when I was let in.Since cheating in uni will most likely result in expulsion, I will for your sake, be myself throughout the beginning and update you on my progress on that thread. I am already sure I know the results but it wouldn't hurt for me to be myself while trying to prove someone wrong on the internet, even though that hardly matters.
I'm not like criticising you for being sarcastic and mean all of the time you can do that until the cows come home, but I was just trying to let the original poster in this thread know that it is hard to make a good group of 'life friends' at uni if you are false in your approach. I hope that university brings out the very best person you can be, and hopefully when you re-post on that thread in a few months time you will be surrounded by a great bunch of friends. Good luck :-) P.s - out of curiosity, which uni are you going to?
Original post by hattie_creese
I'm not like criticising you for being sarcastic and mean all of the time you can do that until the cows come home, but I was just trying to let the original poster in this thread know that it is hard to make a good group of 'life friends' at uni if you are false in your approach. I hope that university brings out the very best person you can be, and hopefully when you re-post on that thread in a few months time you will be surrounded by a great bunch of friends. Good luck :-) P.s - out of curiosity, which uni are you going to?
Kent.
Thanks for the kind words, sir.
I went to boarding school as a young child. I recognise that this may be different to university, but I want to share my experience.
Leaving home at 11 is very difficult for any young person. I initially did not cope well with being in a completely new environment without those familiar surroundings, so it was difficult.
Fortunately for me, school activities got me very busy and I did not think about home or feel home sick. Yes, some days, when I was sad or stressed, would be difficult. In the end, after several weeks, I got used to the system. There were other kids, who could not cope and this affected them as well.
I think the best thing is to keep yourself busy with school activities. Make new friends and do what your mates are doing. Get Involved. Before you know it, you may be hooked on uni life and dread vacations when you would have to leave your friends, boyfriend and university for home.
All the best and I hope things go well for you.
Leaving home at 11 is very difficult for any young person. I initially did not cope well with being in a completely new environment without those familiar surroundings, so it was difficult.
Fortunately for me, school activities got me very busy and I did not think about home or feel home sick. Yes, some days, when I was sad or stressed, would be difficult. In the end, after several weeks, I got used to the system. There were other kids, who could not cope and this affected them as well.
I think the best thing is to keep yourself busy with school activities. Make new friends and do what your mates are doing. Get Involved. Before you know it, you may be hooked on uni life and dread vacations when you would have to leave your friends, boyfriend and university for home.
All the best and I hope things go well for you.
I'm really worried as well about moving out for the first time, and going somewhere where i don't know anyone eek! but hopefully it will be okay because surely everyone is in the same boat? like no one knows each other so hopefully you will find some nice people in your flat, or course! i know it's really difficult when you're shy and nervous, but just be nice and smile and try and make conversation as best as you can! All the best!
i know it's really difficult when you're shy and nervous, but just be nice and smile and try and make conversation as best as you can! All the best! 
Original post by MelissaaC
Hi, so I'm terrified about going to university. I know many people feel the same way but I really struggle making good friends and like going out don't get me wrong but no excessively. I also know I'm going to get very home sick and was wondering what is the best way to overcome all of this? I just don't feel like I'm ready to go
Hello
,It's completely natural and common to feel this way about university and a majority of students do feel the same way.
Making friends; friendships will be made in a variety of weird and wonderful ways. Whether it's attending SU events, Freshers Events, on your course or by joining societies or through friends of friends - they'll just appear and next thing you'll be questioning when you friendship did actually start. Embrace it.
Going out; go out as much or as little as you want too. No one is going to judge you based on your going out habits - that isn't the case at university. It'd be very shallow for judging someone on how often they go out and I've never came across someone that has done so.
Home sick; with me, I call my parents everyday (unless I'm really busy) and have done ever since First Year, I also go home a couple of times a month (or try too). Do whatever makes you feel less homesick.
Good luck
Original post by alevez2ez
That's the worst advice. I was myself at school and all my teachers and students alike hated me.First impressions are important. You have to pretend to be nice and charismatic in the beginning, like showing them that you care. Once you get on good terms, you can go back to being in your skin and be yourself.
Original post by amylaraman
Yeah because pretending to be someone else is that easy when you're incredibly nervous, lonely and scared. Don't criticize my advice if you have nothing better to bring to the table. RUDE!
I don't think you realized where I was getting at. I am an immature person who makes mean jokes and has a huge ego. Anyone being a person such as myself is bound to be lonely most the year if he stays in his own skin and ruins every first impression.
Original post by alevez2ez
I don't think you realized where I was getting at. I am an immature person who makes mean jokes and has a huge ego. Anyone being a person such as myself is bound to be lonely most the year if he stays in his own skin and ruins every first impression.
It works for some guess. However I think my advice was pretty good too.
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