Am i selfish for feeling happy?

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this but yeah.. I am really confused on how I should feel about a situation i'm in.

So i've just taken my GCSEs and came out with some results I'm proud of. They allow me to do all the subjects I want to do at A Level. My best friend however (who I was planning to go to the same sixth form with) slacked so much and didn't get great GCSEs. She now has to retake the majority of them again at a college. I know she'll obviously be upset with this but she's putting me down and making me feel bad for doing well. It's happened for years now because (I know this sounds vain) but i am much much smarter than her. Now i've got in and she can't do her a levels she's making me feel really sh*tty... telling me i'm going to have an awful time at my new school because I won't know anybody and she won't be there and that I probably won't make any new friends or enjoy my time there. It's not even like she calms down after a while.. she's constantly butthurt.

Am i right or just selfish to be pissed off with her acting this way? Another friend of mine said I was being selfish about being happy (about the exam results) because we both knew how upset she was about failing. It's not like I bragged about it to her or anything though.

Sorry this is really long, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Reply 1

Tiger Rag

Your "friend" needs to grow up.

I wouldn't be too happy with her either. She should be happy for you. She just sounds jealous.

Reply 2

Kvothe the Arcane

You are not selfish. Your friend is in the wrong here.

I have recently been in a situation where I did poorly and my friends all did marvellously and met their University offers. It would have been a huge character failing if I were to allow my bitterness to cloud my interactions with them.

If your friend is acting in such a way then I would perhaps rethink how good a friend they are. They are wrong and you will make new friends in Colllege if you put yourself out there.

Reply 3

Zeeiqbal

Okay I thought I didnt do really well for my gcses and planned on going to college. I didn't have a problem about my best friend not coming with me or putting her down for staying at sixth form. Focus on yourself and get rid of negative energy. Its not that she isnt smart, she should have stayed focused. Well done for getting good grades!!.

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Reply 4

Pinkberry_y

No. Next time she tells you all this crap, don't hold back and just say well at least I won't be around a negative slacking person like you anymore

Reply 5

stirra

It's jealousy

She has to accept that your smarter and as a "friend" support you, not put you down

Hope everything goes well

Reply 6

LadyMcCartney4

You lost me at 'I'm much smarter than her'.

Yeah you should ditch her, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who thinks they're better than me just because they did well in some exams that won't matter in 5 years time.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Thank you for all the replies. They've made me feel much better about the situation. :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by sherlockfan

You've definitely taken that comment a way in which it wasn't intended. Sorry if it sounded big headed.. I didn't mean for it to seem that way.

Reply 9

LadyMcCartney4

Original post by Anonymous

You've definitely taken that comment a way in which it wasn't intended. Sorry if it sounded big headed.. I didn't mean for it to seem that way.

Well how was it intended?

It may come across that way to your friend, which is probably why she's not too happy with you.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by sherlockfan

Well how was it intended?

It may come across that way to your friend, which is probably why she's not too happy with you.

In an non selfish way. I phrased it wrong. And it wouldn't of came across that way to my friend because i've never said that to her or done anything to imply that. I've never spoken about my capabilities compared to hers to her.

Original post by Anonymous

It still implies that you think yourself better than her, and although you may not have said anything directly I bet she can sense it. And I know I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who thought of me in that way.
Either way it sounds like you two will part ways when you go to college, so I wouldn't worry about it.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 13

Halzy1234

Original post by Anonymous

Firstly, you aren't wrong. What's she expecting from you?! Are you meant to be upset over the amazing results you got? You aced your exams but she couldn't. The least she could do is try to show some positivity for you instead of negativity. Sorry to say this but she isn't your 'best friend' if she's acting like a jealous b*tch over results you got just coz she couldn't get the same. Of course you feel bad that she didn't get the grades she wanted but she shouldn't be giving you negative vibes just coz she failed and you didn't. You're not selfish in the sense where you're happy about the grades you got coz at the end of the day you've worked hard for it. And she definitely shouldn't be saying stuff like 'you can't make any friends' 'you don't know anybody' and bs like that just coz she ain't gonna be able to be there. True friends show positive vibes even if they couldn't make it themselves.. That's just how friendship is. This girl ain't your friend if she's putting you down. In fact you shouldn't even worry about what she thinks anymore; you're off to sixth form and will eventually make new and better friends who'll give it positive vibes and have the same mindset as you. I get where you think you might be being big headed about being smarter than her but tbh you're just being honest and straight forward about it. Honestly speaking I don't think you'll be in contact with her in the future coz she just seems like some jealous b*tch who only ever cares about herself. Don't let her make you feel like sh*t. Look forward to your future that's ahead and don't look back to the past. Focus on what's coming. As for her she can do her own thing and you do your own. Btw you ain't wrong.. It's not called being selfish. It's called actually being proud of what you've achieved.

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