Friends at university

In general is it easy to make new friends at university, I mean the sort of friends you can actually go out and hang out with not just the ones you have conversations with? Or when you go to uni has everyone got their friendship clicks already?

Reply 1

sun-flower

Original post by Rachaiec

It tends to be easier than finding friends at home, because there are much less 'clicks' already formed, most people are in the same boat as you, moving somewhere with no friends already there. People quickly can get attached to their flatmates, so will tend to hang about with them the most at least at the beginning, but it's not the end of the world if you don't end up being friends with your flatmates, there are usually loads of clubs/groups you can join to meet people who like the same things as you! I met one of my good friends in my flat, and another in a uni society.

Reply 2

Rachaiec

Thanks for the advice because at home it is such a disaster to find a friendship group that hasn't already been formed, meaning you can't really call them your friends as such.

Reply 3

triphazards

Original post by Rachaiec

Thanks for the advice because at home it is such a disaster to find a friendship group that hasn't already been formed, meaning you can't really call them your friends as such.

I know exactly what you mean, and I'm in the same situation (starting uni in sept) so I'm glad you posted about this as its one of my biggest concerns

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Reply 4

Rachaiec

its one of the biggest concerns I have about starting university next year because i'm currently repeating upper sixth to gain more a levels to do law and honestly feel like crying with the whole friendship situation, not because they don't talk to me or aren't friendly its just everyone has their clicks already :frown:

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Reply 5

JustGeorgeJ

Original post by Rachaiec

Hello

,

First of all understand that university isn't like any other form of education because people actually do want to be there, they are paying for it and aren't pathetic little time-wasters - university has genuinely a more mature feeling to it.

It's fairly easy to make friends, especially on your course as you study the same subject and have at least one thing in common - then more often than not you make friends of friends. You could join societies and that's another way.

It's rare that there is already a 'click' between a group - it depends if they've met before hand and got to know each other etc.

Good luck :smile:

Reply 6

Steampunk_Kitty

I've also been worried about making friends. Even in secondary school in year 7, when everyone was supposedly in the same boat, it seemed like most people already had their friendship groups, and it took over a year to make a friend. I'm glad uni looks like it'll be different, although I did hear from one source (that I'm hoping will be the exception) that it was even harder. I'm not very sociable or good at making friends very quickly, and super awkward, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Reply 7

doodle_333

honestly nearly everyone starts uni knowing no one so especially at first but it does continue - people are very open to making friends, I've had people invite me to do something based on saying 'hi, what course do you do' at the door of the building, at freshers events you can just say hi and start chatting to someone, there's also loads of societies to meet people at, and if you have a lecture you can just be like 'anyone staying on campus for lunch' and see who wants to hang out

also different to school - people tend to have a few friendship groups and will spend time with different ones (course friends, flat friends, society friends) so you have lots of different opportunities to make friends

Reply 8

Firefly13

When I started uni I was a bit worried because although I wanted to talk to people I just didn't feel confident enough to go up to people and start a conversation. Luckily though, there are lots of people who will be confident enough to do that so you don't have to worry! :tongue:

Before my first lecture I sat in the cafe by myself and within a minute someone came up to me and started a conversation (mostly just talking about what we thought of uni so far, what halls we were in, worrying about how hard the course would be and things like that - don't worry about what to talk about because that comes easily!). Soon enough other people joined us and I felt a lot more comfortable. My advice for starting conversations if you don't feel comfortable doing it yourself is to stand around when your first lecture is and other people will come up to you, or ask if you can join few people talking already.

I ended up meeting one of my best friends on the first day because she thought I looked scared and lonely (I was waiting for one of the people I met earlier on, but I'm not complaining!) and I saw her bag had a TV show I loved so we got talking about that. She was my only real friend for awhile, but I met other people as the year went on.

You do get friendship groups in uni after a few weeks, but they were nothing like what they were at school for me. In my second year I made a whole load of new friends because I chose some options my other friends didn't take. If anyone refused to talk to someone who wasn't in their group everyone I know would think it's really childish and they wouldn't be someone you'd want to be friends with anyway!

Basically in uni it's really easy to find someone to talk to and most people are friendly, but it may take you a bit longer to find someone you really click with. Try joining some societies to find people with similar interests and try to get involved as much as you can. Don't worry about being a bit awkward, just be yourself and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone who is awkward just like you :h:

Reply 9

Rachaiec

Original post by Firefly13

I wouldn't say i'm socially awkward I mean conversation usually flows pretty naturally when i'm socialising, but how difficult is it to meet people to live with the following year?

Reply 10

Firefly13

Original post by Rachaiec

I wouldn't say i'm socially awkward I mean conversation usually flows pretty naturally when i'm socialising, but how difficult is it to meet people to live with the following year?

That's great, I'm sure you'll be fine! :h:

I ended up living with my boyfriend so it wasn't a problem for me - but I had plenty of offers from people to live with them so I shouldn't think it would be very hard if you've made a few friends. I don't know of anyone who has had trouble finding someone to live with (although find people who are similar to you because I know people who have had problems if one of them is clean and the other is messy!)