My Boyfriend is at a festival without me

My boyfriend left for a music festival this morning and I won't see him until he gets home on Monday. I feel very jealous about him getting to go with a huge group of people when none of my friends could go. I asked him could I tag along with him and he told me straight out "no" because it was only the lads and there would be no other girlfriends. He text me an hour ago saying he had gotten there safely and they were camping with a group of girls that a couple of his friends knew from Uni. I'm so annoyed because he refused to allow me to go but yet now he's going to be hanging around with a bunch of girls all weekend? He promised he wouldn't cheat on me and I do believe him but it scares me that they'll all be drinking and taking drugs etc together. I don't want my boyfriend to be having a better time with these girls than he does with me. It's not a trust issue but moreso an insecurity issue where I feel like he'll meet someone so much better than me at this festival. How can I just relax and drop the whole thing for these 3 days? I've already sent him a few snarky texts which I know are just going to make him not miss me as much or something. I'm sure alot of you have went through the same thing, I'm new to this "doing seperate things" thing.

(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1

JoeyTr

Snarky texts will make things a million times worse, and would only make him more likely to put the phone down and enjoy things with who he's around.

If you'd be the only girl going with his group of friends then I completely understand him saying no, though if he said it bluntly then that's unnecessary but the reason was fair enough.

Best thing you can do is let him enjoy the weekend and say you look forward to when he's back and you miss him, but let him enjoy it.

Reply 2

Slowbro93

Original post by orcnev

You could potentially look at doing something with him once he's back. It's not ideal and it does sound that he was a bit blunt, however if you trust him then it should be okay :smile:

Sending you :hugs:

Reply 3

noworries123

Go out with your friends and enjoy yourself. I'm assuming you're what, 21, 22? You're so young, go and have fun, that's what he's doing and there's nothing wrong with that. And although you may be thinking he might want to find someone else "better than you", he's far more than likely thinking about how much beer he can drink with the money he's taken with him, whether he's going to have a hot dog or burger and when his favourite band is playing! Please honey, don't waste your time worrying about what he's doing, just enjoy what you're doing! Life is far too short. And please, don't ever think anyone is "better than you" - everyone has their own value and something unique, which, is probably why he's with you. So please stop worrying, call some friends, go out, have some drinks and be happy! xx

Reply 4

Pinkberry_y

Original post by orcnev

I can see why he wouldn't want to take you, it's like when mums go on a night out with the girls, they're not going to take their teenage daughter with them are they?

Reply 5

Zeus007

You have to give him his own space. Don't you have your own friends where you can also go out with and spend some time. Try doing something that will put your mind off of it and stop feeling so insecure.

Reply 6

Zeus007

Original post by Pinkberry_y

I can see why he wouldn't want to take you, it's like when mums go on a night out with the girls, they're not going to take their teenage daughter with them are they?

Ouch, you're too harsh though. I'm sure she just needs help getting over her insecurities.

She has a point imo

It's only a music festival. I think you need to find your own friends /hobbies. Your life shouldn't revolve around your boyfriend.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Just let him do his own thing for a while, and if he comes back to you having done nothing then happy days. If he cheats you will find out one way or another and you know that's when you say bye and kick him out your life. Don't send snarky stuff because he'll be annoyed and just wants to have a good time with his friends. I'd say just act normal, maybe a bit more affectionate than usual but not clingy.

Reply 10

toronto353

Original post by RooshV

What do you want us to do

Let's have our own music festival on here! :tongue:

In all seriousness, OP, your boyfriend hasn't done anything wrong and in fact has even texted you to tell you how he's getting on. If that's not enough for you, then I think that you may have trust issues and that it isn't your boyfriend with the problem. You've got to have your own space occasionally otherwise he will feel stifled by the relationship and that's no good for either of you. Quit the sarky texts and find something to do this weekend that doesn't involve keeping tabs on your boyfriend.

Reply 11

JamesN88

A jolly boys outing wouldn't be the same with one girl there tagging along.

They can't have the same (albeit disgusting) conversations that a group of guys have.

Reply 12

kaylababesxx

i wouldnt like that one bit!! i wouldnt have let him go if it was my bf but theres nothing that you cacn do about it now unless u dump him or just show up there

Reply 13

orcnev

Update: a girl we know was with him at the festival last night. She put up a snapchat story of a rave they were at at 3am. It scans around and you can see my boyfriend's head very close to another girls face. Then it zooms out and they're just dancing beside eachother. Do you think he might've been kissing this girl or am I over analysing the situation? Should I confront him and ask about it or just wait until he gets home and let him come clean if he did in fact do something? It's weird because when we were on the phone this morning (before I had seen the story), he said he had only really been with the lads and nothing happened last night. It all seems sketchy to me.

Reply 14

macromicro

People like you shouldn't be in relationships yet.

Reply 15

choleCcarknif3r

Original post by orcnev

If you're really worried then bring it up when he's back, but you really need to calm down. Put the phone down and stop checking their snapchat stories and stuff. Let him have his space for the weekend. Why don't you try and sort something fun out with your friends to take your mind off things?

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

He's probably cheating on you right now.

Reply 17

annie9898

This is one of those situations that's easy to give advice on when it's not happening to you! I'd say distract yourself by doing fun things with your friends until he's back. When he is back calmly ask him about it, try to not be too confrontational or accusing, he may be hurt by the fact that you thought he'd be unfaithful to you. Explain to him that you worried about it and are now glad to have him back, but I'd try to make it clear that it wasn't that you didn't trust him personally, you were just worried because he was with other girls if that makes sense? I know lots of boys whose gfs have accused them of cheating or been too clingy and controlling and it's not nice, could you imagine if he was suspicious of every boy you ever spoke to? Hope it all works out just fine for you both, which it will :smile:

Trust in him

How'd it all go in the end?