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Yet to kiss a girl, let alone lose my virginity at 20. Am I the only one?

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I have issues with a couple of the trends on this thread:

1. "It doesn't matter when it happens" - of course it does. It's like saying it doesn't matter when you get a job. When you're 60 isn't much help.
2. "Get down the gym" - never kissed a girl, so the advice is to go and spend all your time hanging out with sweaty dudes. Genius.
Move on with your life, there more to life then sex :biggrin:
Reply 22
Original post by Trinculo
I have issues with a couple of the trends on this thread:

1. "It doesn't matter when it happens" - of course it does. It's like saying it doesn't matter when you get a job. When you're 60 isn't much help.
2. "Get down the gym" - never kissed a girl, so the advice is to go and spend all your time hanging out with sweaty dudes. Genius.


I don't see what's wrong with number 2. The OP might have confidence issues or might be overweight. Going to the gym doesn't mean you'll be spending your whole day in there. I personally think it's a good idea for people who want to build some self-confidence.
Original post by UWS
I don't see what's wrong with number 2. The OP might have confidence issues or might be overweight. Going to the gym doesn't mean you'll be spending your whole day in there. I personally think it's a good idea for people who want to build some self-confidence.


It's as much of a trope as girls saying "just be yourself".

You see this on TSR all the time - someone comes on here crying about not getting laid, and immediately all the girls say "just be yourself" and all the boys say "go to the gym and get ripped". They're both equally redundant.

What you're missing here is that the commenters know absolutely nothing about the OP (in general cases - not picking on this one)

He could be a complete spanner. In fact, he usually is. He could be horrifically ugly, he could have really bad breath. He could have one of those personalities that is just poison to women. None of those things are going to change via the standard responses.
Hi!
Sooo many people think that having sex or dating girls is such a big thing but honestly don't over think it! You are not the only one although it probably feels like it, but you don't want to rush into anything or have a bad experience. Going on dating sites might be a good option for you considering you don't want to go to clubs or bars (although its' probably not the best environment to find a future gf anyway!). Try going on as many dates as possible just to give you experience in how to talk to girls and be confident around them. Even if you don't find anyone that you like by going on these dates, the experience and skills you would have gained will be useful and you can use them in other social settings

You seem like a very nice guy and lots of girls will actually find it very attractive that you haven't rushed into anything and they will respect you more for it. My last ex boyfriend was exactly like you and I really valued how much he respected himself to wait until he was with someone he really liked and I'm sure a lot of girls will agree with me/feel the same.

All the best xx
Reply 25
Original post by Trinculo
It's as much of a trope as girls saying "just be yourself".

You see this on TSR all the time - someone comes on here crying about not getting laid, and immediately all the girls say "just be yourself" and all the boys say "go to the gym and get ripped". They're both equally redundant.

What you're missing here is that the commenters know absolutely nothing about the OP (in general cases - not picking on this one)

He could be a complete spanner. In fact, he usually is. He could be horrifically ugly, he could have really bad breath. He could have one of those personalities that is just poison to women. None of those things are going to change via the standard responses.


Just being yourself and going to the gym to improve yourself aren't the same things though. The former implies that you don't have to do anything to better yourself and the latter implies that you are taking steps to do so. Ok, so the OP might not be overweight, but probably has confidence issues (which is probably why this thread was made in the first place). It doesn't apply to everyone, but going to the gym and getting muscles can make you more confident and I'm not saying that going to the gym is the only thing that people should do. Confidence is only the first step, OP then needs to work on other aspects of themselves such as bad hygiene or having tacky clothes. That would help them aesthetically and mentally.
You're only 20 my friend, chill :smile:.

You have tried online dating, have you tried speed dating, meeting women through education, work, through your family, friends, joining sports clubs or in general approaching women?

The more you take risks, the more easier it will become.

Go the to gym, wear nice clothes, groom, smell well.

Talk to women like you talk to your friends.

What is your ambition and hobbies, do things that make you happy, do things that you are passionate about.

Good luck!
Reply 27
There is no competition mate, keep doing you and I'm 100% there is a girl for you, just waiting.*
Original post by anonymousindian
So I recently turned 20 and it kinda crept up on me that I'm the only one out of my friends that is still a virgin and I don't know what to do.
First question - are you actually at university? If so, do you live on campus?

I'm 6'1 tall, average height for an Indian is 5'4 lol and I'm 70 kg, basically a scrawny Indian guy.

There is no way that 5'4" is average height for an Indian male - esp not in this country.

I've been complemented by girls for my height and have been called attractive and cute by numerous girls, but based on my personality I guess they mean in a child like way. I'm a really nice person,but I guess to girls that comes across as innocent and sweet not BF material since I'm a bit passive and shy on first impression.

Getting compliments off matey girls means nothing. They're girls. It's what they do. Look up a really plain girl that you know on facebook. Guarantee you, she has photos where all her mates have done the emoji with the two hearts for eyes, and the "gorgeous" quote.

These girls simply don't fancy you - end of. There's not much you can do to change that.


I would go to a club to meet a girl, but I've had a past history of epilepsy and flashing lights and alcohol are no nos as they can be triggers.

That's not going to work. Unless you are good at it, going to a club is make out with girls is quite hard if you don't at least kind of know them in the first place. Nothing magic happens on the dance floor. It's all work.

I was addicted to porn for 2 years,

Big deal - who isn't?


I finally gave it up and replaced it with dating sites. I've tried meeting girls on sites such as Tinder,POF, OkCupid but I'm lucky enough to even get a response.

Also very unlikely to work. You're too young for the desperate women on some of these sites, and Tinder has in my opinion become pointless unless you're going to sink some serious time and effort into your profile.

I really don't want touse an escort. Not the way I want to do things.

Hookers aren't girlfriends. They're women you pay for sex. If you think that actually having sex and breaking your duck will help you - then I wouldn't discount it as an option. The obvious danger is that you carry on doing it which will be expensive.


What do I do?

It's difficult. Some people have mentioned this before - but a lot of this comes down to confidence and knowing what you're doing.

Firstly, utilise the resources you have. If you genuinely are matey with a lot of girls then get them to help you. Tell them you need some dates. If they're your friends, they should try and help out finding someone.

Second, need to up your social appearance. Need to be in the places where a lot of women are - ones that you are acquainted with - not ones that you're already friends with. If you're at university, society or club nights are good places.

Third, find out first hand what's up with you. Ask a girl to no BS, truthfully tell you why she doesn't fancy you - and tell her she has to be 100% honest. Then ask mates what they think the problems are. Try and fix those things if you can. It's entirely possible you come across really badly to some people without realisiing it.
Original post by mr.cool09
lol are you an Indian? I am sure Indians are very attractive to a lot of guys?? Maybe you are looking in the wrong place blurghh ^_^


No I'm a pasty little white girl :tongue:

I'm not ashamed of being a virgin, just that I've never been in any sort of relationship, not even the "boyfriends" you have in primary school. I'm mainly worried that I'll be too terrified to do anything about it when I go to uni, and I really just want to get it all over with.
Original post by UWS
Just being yourself and going to the gym to improve yourself aren't the same things though. The former implies that you don't have to do anything to better yourself and the latter implies that you are taking steps to do so. Ok, so the OP might not be overweight, but probably has confidence issues (which is probably why this thread was made in the first place). It doesn't apply to everyone, but going to the gym and getting muscles can make you more confident and I'm not saying that going to the gym is the only thing that people should do. Confidence is only the first step, OP then needs to work on other aspects of themselves such as bad hygiene or having tacky clothes. That would help them aesthetically and mentally.


I kind of agree that being in good health is never a bad thing, but I find it kind of oblique as a solution.

Let's say OP becomes a gym queen. Ok - in 3 months time he's spent a lot of time getting a more toned bod at the expense of time spent doing other things and no more crisps.

It only really changes one small aspect of his problem- that at first glance, he's less skinny.

For himself, he might have increased his body confidence - but IMO that's not the issue - it's overcoming his congeniality with actual charisma, and having no fear of rejection - which isn't the same kind of confidence at all.
Reply 31
Original post by slade p
Firstly you're in your early years but you need to learn how to interact with girls so they become interested in you. There are some legit guys you can check out to improve your game, who have proven methods to attracting woman.


LIKE ME
Reply 32
Original post by Trinculo
First question - are you actually at university? If so, do you live on campus?


There is no way that 5'4" is average height for an Indian male - esp not in this country.


Getting compliments off matey girls means nothing. They're girls. It's what they do. Look up a really plain girl that you know on facebook. Guarantee you, she has photos where all her mates have done the emoji with the two hearts for eyes, and the "gorgeous" quote.

These girls simply don't fancy you - end of. There's not much you can do to change that.



That's not going to work. Unless you are good at it, going to a club is make out with girls is quite hard if you don't at least kind of know them in the first place. Nothing magic happens on the dance floor. It's all work.


Big deal - who isn't?



Also very unlikely to work. You're too young for the desperate women on some of these sites, and Tinder has in my opinion become pointless unless you're going to sink some serious time and effort into your profile.


Hookers aren't girlfriends. They're women you pay for sex. If you think that actually having sex and breaking your duck will help you - then I wouldn't discount it as an option. The obvious danger is that you carry on doing it which will be expensive.



It's difficult. Some people have mentioned this before - but a lot of this comes down to confidence and knowing what you're doing.

Firstly, utilise the resources you have. If you genuinely are matey with a lot of girls then get them to help you. Tell them you need some dates. If they're your friends, they should try and help out finding someone.

Second, need to up your social appearance. Need to be in the places where a lot of women are - ones that you are acquainted with - not ones that you're already friends with. If you're at university, society or club nights are good places.

Third, find out first hand what's up with you. Ask a girl to no BS, truthfully tell you why she doesn't fancy you - and tell her she has to be 100% honest. Then ask mates what they think the problems are. Try and fix those things if you can. It's entirely possible you come across really badly to some people without realisiing it.


There are some inaccuracies in this in your attempt to comfort OP.

But some of the content is true
Reply 33
Original post by RooshV
LIKE ME


No roosh v is not legit, he has not shown his gaming method is tested and proven from what I know. Deepak Wayne shows his method does work consistently and has videos of him having sex with them also.
Original post by Trinculo
There are a lot of male 40 year old virgins out there. There's a tipping point psychologically for a lot of dudes. There is a possibility it may never happen for him.


Original post by Anna.Karenina
What's the rush though? Does he get a prize if he gets his first kiss by 21?
You'll bang him if nothing changes by 40.
Reply 35
Original post by slade p
No roosh v is not legit, he has not shown his gaming method is tested and proven from what I know. Deepak Wayne shows his method does work consistently and has videos of him having sex with them also.


You said "from what I know" because you are fully aware that your ignorance on the matter is due to a lack of research.

Edit: Hold on a minute. How dare you ever have the courage to claim 'Roosh V is not legit'.

What a momentous lack of respect to the world of game
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 36
Original post by UWS
I don't see what's wrong with number 2. The OP might have confidence issues or might be overweight. Going to the gym doesn't mean you'll be spending your whole day in there. I personally think it's a good idea for people who want to build some self-confidence.


For a gym novice - do you recommend personal trainers?

I want to start going to the gym, but would have no idea where to start..
Reply 37
Original post by mike1994
For a gym novice - do you recommend personal trainers?

I want to start going to the gym, but would have no idea where to start..


You don't need one. I personally just do the workouts myself. Start with your stamina perhaps? Cardio to lose some fat and then move onto weights to build muscle
This is wrong in so many ways but it works. Act insensitive 90% of the time and for the last 10% be nice. Trust me it works a charm... WTAF is it with girls.
Reply 39
Original post by UWS
You don't need one. I personally just do the workouts myself. Start with your stamina perhaps? Cardio to lose some fat and then move onto weights to build muscle


Cheers, guessing that the routines are all online?

Don''t actually have any fat, ideally would want to put on a couple of stones/turn to muscle.

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