The Student Room Group

Getting lost in life

I'm just looking for a bit of advice or just a heads up from people who might be experiencing something similar. Basically I just feel like I can never pin down a direction in life. I feel like maybe it's a confidence issue or maybe just a reflection of actual barriers in my life, but I'm constantly off track as far as long term career goals or interests are concerned. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is but at least my confidence in my ability to stay on some kind of track is low. It just means I forever feel lost in life. Like I'm just falling through one net after another never finding my calling, never belonging anywhere. Sorry if all of this sounds dramatic but I'm in my 20's now and I'm always one step behind everyone else or at least that's how it feels and I don't know what to do. I have a mediocre degree in a subject I just did as I wasn't sure what else to do on the upside it has transterable skills...But yeah any advice or anything would be great. Thanks :smile:
Never compare yourself to another person,you might not know their full story and will make you feel worse. Try to figure out what career direction you want to follow. Maybe talk to someone at uni about it? A careers person or parents or someone who can support you. It's okay to not always have the answers in life
Reply 2
Original post by queen-bee
Never compare yourself to another person,you might not know their full story and will make you feel worse. Try to figure out what career direction you want to follow. Maybe talk to someone at uni about it? A careers person or parents or someone who can support you. It's okay to not always have the answers in life
Thanks :hugs: you're right it's just difficult when day to day people spend a lot of their time dressing their lives up to be amazing you don't really hear about their struggles much so it just reinforces the idea that you're clearly failing in some way. But yeah I definitely need to good advice/support from people who know where to direct me like uni etc so I'll get onto that.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just looking for a bit of advice or just a heads up from people who might be experiencing something similar. Basically I just feel like I can never pin down a direction in life. I feel like maybe it's a confidence issue or maybe just a reflection of actual barriers in my life, but I'm constantly off track as far as long term career goals or interests are concerned. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is but at least my confidence in my ability to stay on some kind of track is low. It just means I forever feel lost in life. Like I'm just falling through one net after another never finding my calling, never belonging anywhere. Sorry if all of this sounds dramatic but I'm in my 20's now and I'm always one step behind everyone else or at least that's how it feels and I don't know what to do. I have a mediocre degree in a subject I just did as I wasn't sure what else to do on the upside it has transterable skills...But yeah any advice or anything would be great. Thanks :smile:


Idk if this will help you, but I like to make flow charts for certain parts of my life, eg if this goes wrong, I can do this, and if I do well in this, I can move on to the next square. It doesn't make things magically okay per say, but it helps visualise things better in my mind when I get confused.

Also people do dress up their lives like you said, why would anyone want people to see their struggles?

Don't trust what you see and know that people are like onions: they have many layers to them, and sometimes the inner parts are not as fresh as the outer may seem.
Reply 4
OP, you're not the only one. Most people don't know where they're going or where they want to be. Your "calling" doesn't really exist, you're not going to simply fall into a career you're passionate about and neither will your friends. Spend this time finding something you can stick with, build a skill, build some experience and get a career going for yourself.

Don't panic and don't ever compare your life to others. It's toxic. Hope this helps


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Reply 5
Original post by StudentInSociety
Idk if this will help you, but I like to make flow charts for certain parts of my life, eg if this goes wrong, I can do this, and if I do well in this, I can move on to the next square. It doesn't make things magically okay per say, but it helps visualise things better in my mind when I get confused.

Also people do dress up their lives like you said, why would anyone want people to see their struggles?

Don't trust what you see and know that people are like onions: they have many layers to them, and sometimes the inner parts are not as fresh as the outer may seem.
Yeah I'm not sure about flow charts in particular but being a bit of a scatter brain a lot of the time I would likely benefit from that kind of a plan of action, plan b etc. Good idea.

And you're right with your onion analogy :tongue:
Reply 6
Original post by TyeMc
OP, you're not the only one. Most people don't know where they're going or where they want to be. Your "calling" doesn't really exist, you're not going to simply fall into a career you're passionate about and neither will your friends. Spend this time finding something you can stick with, build a skill, build some experience and get a career going for yourself.

Don't panic and don't ever compare your life to others. It's toxic. Hope this helps


Posted from TSR Mobile
you're right thanks :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just looking for a bit of advice or just a heads up from people who might be experiencing something similar. Basically I just feel like I can never pin down a direction in life. I feel like maybe it's a confidence issue or maybe just a reflection of actual barriers in my life, but I'm constantly off track as far as long term career goals or interests are concerned. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is but at least my confidence in my ability to stay on some kind of track is low. It just means I forever feel lost in life. Like I'm just falling through one net after another never finding my calling, never belonging anywhere. Sorry if all of this sounds dramatic but I'm in my 20's now and I'm always one step behind everyone else or at least that's how it feels and I don't know what to do. I have a mediocre degree in a subject I just did as I wasn't sure what else to do on the upside it has transterable skills...But yeah any advice or anything would be great. Thanks :smile:


I'm a bit like that myself. I keep telling myself "I want to be a teacher" but more often than not I don't feel like I'm working towards it. I am, I just don't *feel* it.

Honestly at 20+ most people still don't have their future's figured out, and life throws us so many curve balls it's impossible to be on target 100% of the time. Relax, enjoy the journey, but keep your sights on where you want to be.

As another poster said, a lot of people may look like they have it all planned out, but most will be in the same boat as you. Don't compare. Focus on the most important thing, which is you!

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