The Student Room Group

Need some serious advice :/

I hate having to ask for advice online, but I literally have no one to talk to IRL. TSR seems like a great community (the majority of it) and I'd appreciate it if you actually read and replied, thanks!
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Questions (maybe slightly unrelated, but I have other concerns)

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(edited 7 years ago)
you do not need to worry about clothing at University. just be yourself.
Listen to this song


[video="youtube;GygEAcFFMVs"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GygEAcFFMVs[/video]
Pretty much no one is going to care about your style of clothing.
And regarding your social anxiety - is it so severe that you actively avoid social situations? If so, you should only take things one step at a time. The first friend you make, you should be able to open up about it so that you can learn how to be more comfortable with social situations.
Original post by the bear
you do not need to worry about clothing at University. just be yourself.

I wish i could think of it like that, but I'm afraid my mind has other plans, and Im worrying about it even though, i know its stupid.

Original post by shawn_o1
Pretty much no one is going to care about your style of clothing.
And regarding your social anxiety - is it so severe that you actively avoid social situations? If so, you should only take things one step at a time. The first friend you make, you should be able to open up about it so that you can learn how to be more comfortable with social situations.

Thanks for the help, i appreciate it. i know it'll be difficult but the thing is, i enjoy being social, but it's down to lack of opportunity which has put me into this situation.
you could go around college wearing a binliner and shoes made of washing-up liquid bottles and nobody would mind.
Original post by Justanaccount
I hate having to ask for advice online, but I literally have no one to talk to IRL. TSR seems like a great community (the majority of it) and I'd appreciate it if you actually read and replied, thanks!
Back Story

Spoiler

Questions (maybe slightly unrelated, but I have other concerns)

Spoiler



Hello :smile:,

Well, first of all, it seems you have a stigma towards university. That being the thought that university is the same as the rest of the education you have been in and that isn't the case. University (on the most part) is full of mature people who have more dignity, decency and respect than to judge other people on what they wear and you'll discover this when you get there.

As for your questions;
1 A/B: I'm not going to answer this question as it isn't one that needs to be answered. No one cares what you wear, no one will judge you for what you wear. Be your own person. Wear what you want and be comfortable.
2/3: Again, I'm not going to answer these. Wear what you want out. Everybody has their own style when going out - be it dresses, jeans and a shirt, jeans a t-shirt etc etc. It doesn't matter, you'll pick it up but they aren't questions you need to worry about. No one is searching for the price tag of your clothes because no one cares - they are bigger things to worry about at university.
4: After moving in; keep your door open and as people walk down the corridor they will pop their head in and say hi and you can do the same - you'll just start talking to each other and spending your first evenings together and this will lead to everybody going out together - be open and enjoy the experience.
5: Generally you keep your pots in the kitchen - I have known some people to keep them in their rooms because they don't want people using/stealing their stuff but the majority of students keep their stuff in the kitchen.

Best of luck! :biggrin:
Original post by JustGeorgeJ
Hello :smile:,

Well, first of all, it seems you have a stigma towards university. That being the thought that university is the same as the rest of the education you have been in and that isn't the case. University (on the most part) is full of mature people who have more dignity, decency and respect than to judge other people on what they wear and you'll discover this when you get there.

As for your questions;
1 A/B: I'm not going to answer this question as it isn't one that needs to be answered. No one cares what you wear, no one will judge you for what you wear. Be your own person. Wear what you want and be comfortable.
2/3: Again, I'm not going to answer these. Wear what you want out. Everybody has their own style when going out - be it dresses, jeans and a shirt, jeans a t-shirt etc etc. It doesn't matter, you'll pick it up but they aren't questions you need to worry about. No one is searching for the price tag of your clothes because no one cares - they are bigger things to worry about at university.
4: After moving in; keep your door open and as people walk down the corridor they will pop their head in and say hi and you can do the same - you'll just start talking to each other and spending your first evenings together and this will lead to everybody going out together - be open and enjoy the experience.
5: Generally you keep your pots in the kitchen - I have known some people to keep them in their rooms because they don't want people using/stealing their stuff but the majority of students keep their stuff in the kitchen.

Best of luck! :biggrin:

Thank you for reassuring me, honestly! When it gets this close to an event/time, my mind is flooding with pointless queries and gets me overly nervous. So it helps ALOT
Original post by Justanaccount
Thank you for reassuring me, honestly! When it gets this close to an event/time, my mind is flooding with pointless queries and gets me overly nervous. So it helps ALOT


It's fine, no problem at all - it's what I'm here for. I just don't like seeing upcoming students worry and panic about things they don't need too as it can ruin the experience of starting university.
That's one thing im worried about, whether I'll be able to cope 🤔 but surely I can't stay in the same environment as I am in now, as it's just depressing.
I'm desperate for a change in environment, which is why I'm excited yet nervous to go to university.
The two year gap was filled with college, but I didn't really enjoy it, and had no common interests with people on my course, so I just stuck it out to get the qualification.

The mindset which I have gathered from school is that the brand of the clothing is more important than the actual item itself :s-smilie:. I wasn't sure if it's like that everywhere or just in my school. I'm trying to overcome that issue, but I'm having difficulty purchasing clothing that isn't name brand
1a) Most people wear some combination of a t shirt and jeans or chinos, you might see polo shirts, button downs or joggers every now and again then in the winter months hoodies, sweatshirts and the occasional letterman jacket.
1b) no one cares
2) Just pick a button down and you're good, no one cares about brands, just buy what you want
3) People care even less about jeans
4) Knock on doors, ideally with a case of beer/cider to share, drink in your flat for a bit then head out for food/drink/shops, etc.
5) It varies but I'd say people with big rooms tend to keep their stuff in their room and those with smaller rooms keep stuff in the kitchen.
Yeah, i heard university is about "finding your way" which I'm looking forward to, but I seem to be dreading the introduction & fresher's week, mainly. Yeah, i agree I should just go for plain clothes, thanks for the advice!

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