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Beginning to become arrogant with women (or just lazy?)

Since going to uni my ideology on women has totally changed. At school I used to hang onto their every word, treat every girl I ever spoken to like a princess. Now its totally changed, I still treat them well but if they stop talking to me I always think "Ah its her loss". This obviously has alot of benefits and negatives, Im still fairly successful like I was but I can't hold onto anyone.. I literally couldnt care less. Will this change when I meet the one? Or am I destined to jump around forever. Plenty of people say "Forever alone" because they don't think they're attractive enough or too nice... but I honestly think i will be forever alone for not giving a damn and having no motivation. To me my friends and family are for life... any other form of relationship is too much effort :/

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It'll probably change when you meet someone you click with. :smile: No point wasting time with those who aren't into you (IE. Stop talking).
Original post by Anonymous
Since going to uni my ideology on women has totally changed. At school I used to hang onto their every word, treat every girl I ever spoken to like a princess. Now its totally changed, I still treat them well but if they stop talking to me I always think "Ah its her loss". This obviously has alot of benefits and negatives, Im still fairly successful like I was but I can't hold onto anyone.. I literally couldnt care less. Will this change when I meet the one? Or am I destined to jump around forever. Plenty of people say "Forever alone" because they don't think they're attractive enough or too nice... but I honestly think i will be forever alone for not giving a damn and having no motivation. To me my friends and family are for life... any other form of relationship is too much effort :/


You sound like me, I won't put the effort in if they don't.

Surely 'the one' would put the effort in?

I don't know tho, never met 'the one'.
Reply 3
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
You just need to be patient. Good that you stopped treating girls like princesses.

Work on your confidence and don't give up.
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by natalie427
You sound like me, I won't put the effort in if they don't.

Surely 'the one' would put the effort in?

I don't know tho, never met 'the one'.


Yeah good point.

It's just on a fairly regular occurrence friends come towards me and say "What happened to *insert girls name* you were talking to last week? She was so into you" and I'm just like "Ah, she was lovely but effort"

Then they bang on about how I missed out, which has begun to make me think about this.
Original post by Anonymous
It's just on a fairly regular occurrence friends come towards me and say "What happened to *insert girls name* you were talking to last week? She was so into you" and I'm just like "Ah, she was lovely but effort".


That's different to "They stop speaking to me". Sounds like you're not taking advantage of the opportunities that present themselves, so the girls look elsewhere. Speaking on the other side of the fence (no opportunities), let me tell you that this is a massive mistake and one you will regret.

A bit confused as to what your problem is, but basically take and make a little effort. Good things will come your way.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah good point.

It's just on a fairly regular occurrence friends come towards me and say "What happened to *insert girls name* you were talking to last week? She was so into you" and I'm just like "Ah, she was lovely but effort"

Then they bang on about how I missed out, which has begun to make me think about this.


Missing out on what?

A lot of people believe being in a relationship is the pinnacle of life, I had a phase recently where I thought this but now I just see it as another aspect of life.

If I have a relationship great, If I don't life is still great.
What will be, will be.

When the right person comes along, I believe you'll want to put the effort in.

Of course there is also the logic that maybe you have something like low self-esteem (for example) which is making you shut the relationships down. I will shut down a conversation if a guy who I think is better looking then me is talking to me, which is a super bad thing to do.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 7
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
I get what the OP means. The OP has dating options,and he knows this both subconsciously and consciously. When an option presents itself [a girl], if said girl is not putting in enough effort/is too much effort or he feels she isn't that smitten with him ...then rather than chase the girl or put more effort towards her ..he just drops her ...because he knows sooner or later a girl will arrive who acts towards him better.
(edited 7 years ago)
Better to be like this than a be a clingy needy 'nice' guy tbh
Original post by Anonymous
Since going to uni my ideology on women has totally changed. At school I used to hang onto their every word, treat every girl I ever spoken to like a princess. Now its totally changed, I still treat them well but if they stop talking to me I always think "Ah its her loss". This obviously has alot of benefits and negatives, Im still fairly successful like I was but I can't hold onto anyone.. I literally couldnt care less. Will this change when I meet the one? Or am I destined to jump around forever. Plenty of people say "Forever alone" because they don't think they're attractive enough or too nice... but I honestly think i will be forever alone for not giving a damn and having no motivation. To me my friends and family are for life... any other form of relationship is too much effort :/


That's how you transform from being a pussy to being a real man.
Reply 10
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
Original post by natalie427
You sound like me, I won't put the effort in if they don't.

Surely 'the one' would put the effort in?

I don't know tho, never met 'the one'.




There's around 7.4 Billion people on this planet. The idea that a person is only truly compatible with one other person "The One" ... is ludicrous

Look how much people claim to have found "The One" or their "Soulmate". Statistically if the notion of the one were true then so much people wouldn't have found there's.

The real truth is that there are in fact many "The One's" which are basically people you have extremely high compatibility with. But even more people who you have mediocre compatibility or good compatibility but nothing special.
Original post by ANM775
There's around 7.4 Billion people on this planet. The idea that a person is only truly compatible with one other person "The One" ... is ludicrous

Look how much people claim to have found "The One" or their "Soulmate". Statistically if the notion of the one were true then so much people wouldn't have found there's.

The real truth is that there are in fact many "The One's" which are basically people you have extremely high compatibility with. But even more people who you have mediocre compatibility or good compatibility but nothing special.


Sorry, is this suppose to be to me or OP?
The right girl will stop you in your tracks don't worry
Reply 13
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
Original post by natalie427
Sorry, is this suppose to be to me or OP?




I saw OP mention the one, then later saw you mentioned it ..so hit quote to give the truth about "The One"
Reply 14
Avatar for Conkerr
Conkerr
6
It will change, when I was 18 or 19 I couldn't care less about girls. All other guys of my age that's basically all they cared about. We're years later and I can't say that I don't care anymore about them.

And if it doesn't then it doesn't what can you do, stop torturing yourself.
Original post by ANM775
I get what the OP means. The OP has dating options,and he knows this both subconsciously and consciously. When an option presents itself [a girl], if said girl is not putting in enough effort/is too much effort or he feels she isn't that smitten with him ...then rather than chase the girl or put more effort towards her ..he just drops her ...because he knows sooner or later a girl will arrive who acts towards him better.


Understandable, but then again my train of thought is to take opportunities when they become available. It doesn't sound OP is giving himself or the girls much of a chance.
Original post by Anonymous
Since going to uni my ideology on women has totally changed. At school I used to hang onto their every word, treat every girl I ever spoken to like a princess. Now its totally changed, I still treat them well but if they stop talking to me I always think "Ah its her loss". This obviously has alot of benefits and negatives, Im still fairly successful like I was but I can't hold onto anyone.. I literally couldnt care less. Will this change when I meet the one? Or am I destined to jump around forever. Plenty of people say "Forever alone" because they don't think they're attractive enough or too nice... but I honestly think i will be forever alone for not giving a damn and having no motivation. To me my friends and family are for life... any other form of relationship is too much effort :/


It just happens after experience. I used to be like that too but now I never get attached to anyone. Everything is temporary and they all leave in the end.

I cut off my absolute favourite person without any explanation, the only person I had and I left her life like she meant nothing to me.

We're emotionally shallow and people are not worth the energy.
Ultimately it's far better to be proactive with women, i.e. you are the one doing the selecting and the dropping, coldly ignoring them will actually screw you over.
Original post by Imam of Haram
Ultimately it's far better to be proactive with women, i.e. you are the one doing the selecting and the dropping, coldly ignoring them will actually screw you over.


I would never coldly ignore anyone, I am quite a sociable guy, it's just I tend to know what I want and if I don't see things heading in that direction or if anyone seems like they will be high maintenance then I fade away and keep my distance.
Original post by ANM775
There's around 7.4 Billion people on this planet. The idea that a person is only truly compatible with one other person "The One" ... is ludicrous

Look how much people claim to have found "The One" or their "Soulmate". Statistically if the notion of the one were true then so much people wouldn't have found there's.

The real truth is that there are in fact many "The One's" which are basically people you have extremely high compatibility with. But even more people who you have mediocre compatibility or good compatibility but nothing special.


Yes I agree to an extent but then again by the time I'm 30 (20 now) how many of the "one's" will be taken, chances are there are very few people who we find a special connection with, some of those will be in situations which make things difficult, to find the perfect partner in the perfect situation is rare, may only happen once for some people js.

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