I can't leave my cheating, abusive boyfriend
Been together for two years, was amazing at first. Since then..
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
Scroll to see replies
call the police and leave him.
please before it gets worse.
better to remain celibate your whole life than in a relationship with someone like that.
good luck
please before it gets worse.
better to remain celibate your whole life than in a relationship with someone like that.
good luck
Original post by Anonymous
Been together for two years, was amazing at first. Since then..- he cheated 5 times- told his friend he was in love with another girl- flirted with girls in front of me-controlled me- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than meThe list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
Okay, this is bad. You can see how bad this is. You already know what you need to do. Have you told any of your family/friends about what is happening to you? They could be able to give you the support you need to make the move to leave him, and to not go back. I lived in a women's refuge for 10 months after my parents split and I saw this every single day with hundreds of women. The best thing you can do is get yourself out and get all the support you can.
I'm going to leave a contact at the bottom here for you if you'd like to talk to someone confidentially. It would be a really good idea to look into it. Please let me know if you'd like any more information. I wish you all the best!
Spoiler
(edited 7 years ago)
That's horrible. Seriously, ditch the b*stard.
Go to the police if you have to, and make sure friends/family are aware of his behavior.
You think you can't be loved again? This arseh*le never loved you in the first place, I'm sorry to say, but if you stay with him you will not be in a situation for you to be loved by the right person. Dump his sorry ass and then you'll be open to meeting someone who will love you deeply.
Go to the police if you have to, and make sure friends/family are aware of his behavior.
You think you can't be loved again? This arseh*le never loved you in the first place, I'm sorry to say, but if you stay with him you will not be in a situation for you to be loved by the right person. Dump his sorry ass and then you'll be open to meeting someone who will love you deeply.
Original post by Anonymous
Been together for two years, was amazing at first. Since then..
- he cheated 5 times
- he cheated 5 times
i understand how you feel.. i literally just broke up with my boyfriend for the same reasons if not more... yeah i do want to text him telling him i forgive him and take him back AGAIN!!! but then i remembered rule number 1 of being a boss ass ***** never let a guy play you and if he does play you have sex with his best friend. get a dick pic and send it to him and say you're best friends like how my pussy taste... us girls gotta stick together
(not in that way)
Original post by Anonymous
Been together for two years, was amazing at first. Since then..
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
Get out of there, his a sociopath; go to your parents house.
The thing is, we go to the same uni, we live 10 mins away from each other at home and at uni!!! So we go out to the exact same places, I'm bound to see him all year. Same gym, same bus, same uni, same clubs. Everything
And he's gonna do things to hurt me and to make me as miserable as possible so it's gonna be so hard to forget it when it's always in my face
And he's gonna do things to hurt me and to make me as miserable as possible so it's gonna be so hard to forget it when it's always in my face
Original post by Anonymous
Been together for two years, was amazing at first. Since then..
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
Its complicated. You have essentially been abused and have low self esteem, which makes these things difficult. Nobody has a right to abuse you and you deserve better.
You understand he is toxic for you, which means you need to leave and get to a healthier place. One where you can stop being abused, feel happy and better still find someone who is supportive and cna build you up.
Talk to
24-hour National Domestic Violence
Freephone Helpline0808 2000 247
http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/if-you-are-a-woman-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx
Original post by Anonymous
Been together for two years, was amazing at first. Since then..
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
Why can't you leave him?
Pick up the phone and phone the police. Then phone a family member or close friend and tell them about this. It's hard, it's hard to pick up the phone and muster the courage to put the words together to say you're being abused. But is the fear of the unknown of what will happen to you if you leave him worse than staying with this guy where you know it will only get worse?
You can't leave him because he's systematically destroyed your self respect to the point where you're dependent on him for emotional reward. There is no way you can make this work. Leave him right now and work on building back your self respect.
Original post by Pinkberry_y
Why can't you leave him?
Pick up the phone and phone the police. Then phone a family member or close friend and tell them about this. It's hard, it's hard to pick up the phone and muster the courage to put the words together to say you're being abused. But is the fear of the unknown of what will happen to you if you leave him worse than staying with this guy where you know it will only get worse?
Pick up the phone and phone the police. Then phone a family member or close friend and tell them about this. It's hard, it's hard to pick up the phone and muster the courage to put the words together to say you're being abused. But is the fear of the unknown of what will happen to you if you leave him worse than staying with this guy where you know it will only get worse?
Ring the police and say what though? Hi my boyfriend cheats on me and tells me I'm an ugly flatchested girl that he's used for months?
Original post by Anonymous
Ring the police and say what though? Hi my boyfriend cheats on me and tells me I'm an ugly flatchested girl that he's used for months?
Tell them he's assaulted you and his friend. If there's nothing to report there, then move out your essentials and go to a family members house and from there ring him to tell him it's over
Original post by Pinkberry_y
Tell them he's assaulted you and his friend. If there's nothing to report there, then move out your essentials and go to a family members house and from there ring him to tell him it's over
He has broken up with me himself earlier today, he does this about 4 times a week. The issue is I end up crawling back. Last time I actually stuck by my own word and dumped him and ignored everything he said he slept with two girls in one night and so I lost it and crawled back myself :/
Original post by Anonymous
He has broken up with me himself earlier today, he does this about 4 times a week. The issue is I end up crawling back. Last time I actually stuck by my own word and dumped him and ignored everything he said he slept with two girls in one night and so I lost it and crawled back myself :/
I don't understand what about him is so appealing that you crawl back to him. Are you honestly happy in your relationship? Girl leave him for good, block his number and keep telling yourself he's not good youn
Original post by woooooo
then i remembered rule number 1 of being a boss ass ***** never let a guy play you and if he does play you have sex with his best friend. get a dick pic and send it to him and say you're best friends like how my pussy taste... us girls gotta stick together (not in that way)
(not in that way)Cringe.
Original post by Anonymous
Ring the police and say what though? Hi my boyfriend cheats on me and tells me I'm an ugly flatchested girl that he's used for months?
He's obviously referring to the incident of you being dragged through a club by your hair and your friend being strangled, i.e. ABH. This will be on the club's CCTV.
Original post by Anonymous
He has broken up with me himself earlier today, he does this about 4 times a week. The issue is I end up crawling back. Last time I actually stuck by my own word and dumped him and ignored everything he said he slept with two girls in one night and so I lost it and crawled back myself :/
Then stop crawling back to someone who shows you little regard or respect, the longer you let this go on the worse he will make you feel, you need to make a clean break but until you do he is going to keep doing this.
Original post by Anonymous
x
I know it's difficult but you need to sever this unhealthy relationship.
You're not thinking properly right now. Speak to your friends and family. Trust them.
SS
"Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour"
because you have seriously, SERIOUSLY low self-esteem. the man has brainwashed you completely to the point where you consider HIM to be the lesser of two evils. hes made you feel dependant on him and you probably are under the illusion that you are better off with a man who treats you like **** rather than have no man at all
First of all, thats the thing about brainwash - it genuinely makes you believe what you have been told and in order to overcome this you need to break past the control he has over your mind and regain your own thoughts. Let me help you:
Firstly - its complete BS what he is telling you - YOU WILL find love again!
But you won't be able to until you leave this idiot
Secondly - you ARE good enough for any man and in fact you are 10000x the person this 'man' is.
Now I need you to open your mind properly and let sink in everything you have told us about him.
He has ATTACKED you in public
He has ATTACKED your friend
He has CHEATED on you SEVERAL times
He has CRITICISED and MOCKED your body
He USES you
He CONTROLS you
He tells his friends he LOVES ANOTHER woman!!!
and when you broke up with him he CHEATED on you again, twice. Meaning he didn't care at all about you
He DISRESPECTS you on a daily basis. and you know he does
does this really sound like a boyfriend to you? is that really someone you - or anyone - should want to be with? Imagine reading what you told us from our point of view. Imagine your best friend, mother, sister, daughter said all the above, what would you advice be to them??
The advice you give to them is the advice you need to be following yourself. This is NOT a relationship. This man does NOT love you or care about you or even respect you. So why do you keep going back to someone like that?
Respect yourself. Dump him. Ignore all his calls and texts. Either get a new phone/number or every time he sends a message delete it without reading it. It will be tempting but force yourself to do it until you are used to it. Same applies with if he comes over. As someone says try going to your parents house or get your parent involved, as soon as they find out that a man beat their daughter trust me they will be ready to break his neck!
because you have seriously, SERIOUSLY low self-esteem. the man has brainwashed you completely to the point where you consider HIM to be the lesser of two evils. hes made you feel dependant on him and you probably are under the illusion that you are better off with a man who treats you like **** rather than have no man at all
First of all, thats the thing about brainwash - it genuinely makes you believe what you have been told and in order to overcome this you need to break past the control he has over your mind and regain your own thoughts. Let me help you:
Firstly - its complete BS what he is telling you - YOU WILL find love again!
But you won't be able to until you leave this idiot
Secondly - you ARE good enough for any man and in fact you are 10000x the person this 'man' is.
Now I need you to open your mind properly and let sink in everything you have told us about him.
He has ATTACKED you in public
He has ATTACKED your friend
He has CHEATED on you SEVERAL times
He has CRITICISED and MOCKED your body
He USES you
He CONTROLS you
He tells his friends he LOVES ANOTHER woman!!!
and when you broke up with him he CHEATED on you again, twice. Meaning he didn't care at all about you
He DISRESPECTS you on a daily basis. and you know he does
does this really sound like a boyfriend to you? is that really someone you - or anyone - should want to be with? Imagine reading what you told us from our point of view. Imagine your best friend, mother, sister, daughter said all the above, what would you advice be to them??
The advice you give to them is the advice you need to be following yourself. This is NOT a relationship. This man does NOT love you or care about you or even respect you. So why do you keep going back to someone like that?
Respect yourself. Dump him. Ignore all his calls and texts. Either get a new phone/number or every time he sends a message delete it without reading it. It will be tempting but force yourself to do it until you are used to it. Same applies with if he comes over. As someone says try going to your parents house or get your parent involved, as soon as they find out that a man beat their daughter trust me they will be ready to break his neck!
Original post by Anonymous
Been together for two years, was amazing at first. Since then..
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
- he cheated 5 times
- told his friend he was in love with another girl
- flirted with girls in front of me
-controlled me
- told me he's been over me for the past 6 months and was using me for sex
- said I had no boobs and looked like a child and that anyone with big boobs is better than me
The list goes on, I lost all my self esteem and any hope that I can be loved again. Yet I can't let go.
On a night out he thought my gay friend was kissing me (we were dancing and he's gay!!!!) and he dragged me across the club by my hair and tried to strangle my friend then proceeded to demand that I make sure he doesn't get into trouble for it. Yet he does the same in front of me and it's fine. And of course I am to blame for everything somehow.
Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour
Hey, OMG he doesn't deserve you... Trust me... Yo might not want to let go of him as it was amazing at first and you've been together for 2 years but can you honestly imagine spending the rest of your life with him even if he does apologise and change his ways that is just WAY, WAY too much and just out of order...
Hey, be strong k? I'm here for you... message me if you need me and I'll try and help as best as I can...
Kolia
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