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Flatmates parents are staying over a week! Is this allowed?

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Reply 100
Avatar for Vereor
Vereor
7
I'm kind of glad the OP has reported her room mate though. I'm now going to keep an eye out for the thread later in the year where she is complaining because her room mate is being an unreasonable dick and reporting her for every little infraction of the rules :biggrin:
Reply 101
Avatar for Vereor
Vereor
7
Original post by Juichiro
Last thing anyone wants is a sticky shower. :biggrin:


I had one once that shaved his pubes in the bathroom... and just left them on the bathroom floor because he couldn't be bothered clearing them up.

Ugh.
Original post by daniellee0
The point is he is way older. Of course we will all have boys over at some point but not a 50 year old male. We have tried speaking to her first and heard nothing back. Currently waiting to hear back from the landlord.


I think it was a bad move on your part to report it to the landlord before you spoke to your flatmate first - admittedly you aren't comfortable with it and that's completely understandable, but reporting her behind her back is gonna cause some tension.
Original post by daniellee0
The point is he is way older. Of course we will all have boys over at some point but not a 50 year old male. We have tried speaking to her first and heard nothing back. Currently waiting to hear back from the landlord.



How long did you want for a reply? Not everyone checks Facebook five times a day ?

How did you express your concerns exactly - did you ask for more details - i.e.: will they be sleeping in her room etc ? Or did you just complain ?


Given that English is not their first language could they have misunderstood ?

Are they coming from relatively nearby- Europe etc or much further ?

So is this a shared bathroom or do you have ensuite?

Complaining to the landlord before giving them time to respond sounds like a bad move- you should have attempted to resolve your problems and your concerns between you.

You have now ,whatever happens, created an atmosphere in the flat and if there are only 4 of you that is going to be uncomfortable for a lot longer than a week .

While of course they should have asked, unless you know there personal and financial circumstances - which you don't - you should not have made assumptions about why they want to do this- or whether they could afford to stay elsewhere- there could be personal, cultural or financial reasons for it- and while that doesn't make it any more acceptable it would have made your life easier if you had tried to solve the problem between yourselves.

As for not wanting to bump into him in the night half dressed or coming out the shower- you need to bear in mind that when sharing a flat you never know who you might bump into in the hall- wold bumping int some boy one of your flatmates brought home be any better? If you don't want a man to see you half undressed in your hall- the only safe thing to do is not to go into the hall half undressed.
Reply 104
Avatar for Vereor
Vereor
7
Original post by watchingyouwatch

Complaining to the landlord before giving them time to respond sounds like a bad move- you should have attempted to resolve your problems and your concerns between you.

You have now ,whatever happens, created an atmosphere in the flat and if there are only 4 of you that is going to be uncomfortable for a lot longer than a week .



I've seen this play out in so many flats / house shares before.
A small problem gets dealt with badly by someone, each party retaliates until everyone is miserable.

For all the OP knows, flat mates parents could barely afford to make the trip and she's just put them in a position where they have flights but can't afford to stay anywhere so that she doesn't have to wear a dressing gown to walk to the bathroom. Seems pretty selfish to me.
Original post by Vereor
I'm kind of glad the OP has reported her room mate though. I'm now going to keep an eye out for the thread later in the year where she is complaining because her room mate is being an unreasonable dick and reporting her for every little infraction of the rules :biggrin:


Haha we didn't 'report' her, we all decided to email the landlord and simply ask does he know that they are staying for a week. Says in our contract that you should ask him first
Original post by Vereor
I've seen this play out in so many flats / house shares before.
A small problem gets dealt with badly by someone, each party retaliates until everyone is miserable.

For all the OP knows, flat mates parents could barely afford to make the trip and she's just put them in a position where they have flights but can't afford to stay anywhere so that she doesn't have to wear a dressing gown to walk to the bathroom. Seems pretty selfish to me.


You don't know that and neither to I to be fair. None of us know if they can afford or not. Either way I'm not the only person in my flat who feels like this and I don't see why she should be treat any different to us when we are only allowed guest for 2 days max. I also don't agree with them living there free for a week when we are paying rent. They aren't the only ones who may not be able to afford things you know.
Original post by daniellee0
Haha we didn't 'report' her, we all decided to email the landlord and simply ask does he know that they are staying for a week. Says in our contract that you should ask him first


How is that not reporting her ?
Original post by daniellee0
You don't know that and neither to I to be fair. None of us know if they can afford or not. Either way I'm not the only person in my flat who feels like this and I don't see why she should be treat any different to us when we are only allowed guest for 2 days max. I also don't agree with them living there free for a week when we are paying rent. They aren't the only ones who may not be able to afford things you know.



I just don't understand this point

It will have no financial impact on you at all-

PS you didn't answer any of my questions
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by watchingyouwatch
How is that not reporting her ?


Didn't state her name in the email, so how will he know?
Original post by watchingyouwatch
I just don't understand this point

It will have no financial impact on you at all-


The point is I am paying £100 a week rent and they are living there for a week free
Original post by daniellee0
The point is I am paying £100 a week rent and they are living there for a week free


well presumably she is paying a £100 a week as well but that is besides the point

It won't cost you anything to have them there- so why does it bother you - If you had a boyfriend over for 2 days he would be getting £28 worth of free rent- but who cares .




You said this is in Middlesbrough- For that money are you really all sharing a bathroom ? I think £100 sounds like an ensuite room
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by daniellee0
Didn't state her name in the email, so how will he know?


but presumably they know who you are- since you emailed them- and if you mentioned she was coming from abroad it won't be difficult for them to work it out will it.

Also how can you have asked the landlord if he knew her parents staying for a week (as you said above) if you didn't give her name ?
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 113
Avatar for Vereor
Vereor
7
Original post by daniellee0
The point is I am paying £100 a week rent and they are living there for a week free


You seem to be struggling to grasp the idea of financial impact.
If her parents stay your rent is £100 per week. If her parents don't stay your rent is £100 per week.

There is no financial impact on you at all. You're sounding more childish, it just sounds like spite now because they get a free week and you don't.
(edited 7 years ago)
Check with the rules. Most of the time, if it's allowed it's usually just for 2-3 days max. although do keep in mind, they are coming from abroad, they've spend loads on the plane tickets and will not see their kid for at least a year probably. Do you want to be the ******** forcing them to go to a hotel when they wanted to spend a couple of days saying goodbye to their kid.
Reply 115
Avatar for Vereor
Vereor
7
Original post by daniellee0
Haha we didn't 'report' her, we all decided to email the landlord and simply ask does he know that they are staying for a week. Says in our contract that you should ask him first


Sorry, I missed this the first time round.

You didn't report her? You emailed the landlord and told him she is doing something against the rules.. To put it simply, you grassed her up.
Original post by Vereor
Sorry, I missed this the first time round.

You didn't report her? You emailed the landlord and told him she is doing something against the rules.. To put it simply, you grassed her up.


Wasn't just my decision though. I didn't mention any names I didn't mention anyone coming from abroad etc so he has no idea who it is. Even if we did 'grass her up' why is that such a bad thing? Why is it acceptable for her to break the rules and be an exception and not us? We all signed the same tenancy agreement / contract therefor we should all stick to it.
Original post by daniellee0
But surely they should have thought about this before coming? I live in Middlesbrough hotel prices aren't exactly expensive haha. We jusy think it's gunna be awkward with them being there like what if we wanna have a flat party etc? Can't see her parents being happy about it


why are u so agitated by them? she's foreign, probably so scared and just wants her parents there with her, u do what u wanna do and leave her and her parents alone lol...also about the house party u can do it after they've left u have ur whole life pls grow up
Original post by daniellee0
Haha we didn't 'report' her, we all decided to email the landlord and simply ask does he know that they are staying for a week. Says in our contract that you should ask him first


white people scare me
Reply 119
Avatar for Vereor
Vereor
7
Original post by daniellee0
Wasn't just my decision though. I didn't mention any names I didn't mention anyone coming from abroad etc so he has no idea who it is. Even if we did 'grass her up' why is that such a bad thing? Why is it acceptable for her to break the rules and be an exception and not us? We all signed the same tenancy agreement / contract therefor we should all stick to it.


It's a bad thing because living with other people requires some adulting, there will be compromise and you should get used to dealing with your problems like a grown up.

Without an actual conversation with her you have just decided that you (and your other flatmates if they did it with you) are more important than this other tenant. Your points so far make you sound incredibly spoilt, there's not actually any substance to your argument. If you lived in a house share, had an arrangement to split bills equally, a cleaning rota and all chipped in for food then maybe you would have a point about the financial impact as extra adults = extra consumption. As it happens you don't so it's of no consequence to you.

As for 'breaching the tenancy agreement' you will probably find that it also says things like 'don't play music after 10pm' or 'don't pin posters to the walls as it causes damage'. When you fall back to the contract you've normally lost the argument.The point is that you have CHOSEN to take issue with this trivial thing and have a serious case of princess syndrome; what's a week in the scheme of things?

There's another 51 in the year you can get blind drunk and sleep naked in the hallway if you want.

For 7 days you'll just have to get drunk and wear a dressing gown if you don't want to wear clothes.

Boo hoo, I mean seriously wtf.
(edited 7 years ago)

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