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What would you do?

If you have been friends with a girl for awhile and you eventually admit that you have feelings for her, but she doesn't feel the same way. What do you do from here? Stay friends? Stop being friends? End communication?

Is it harder to a friendship into a relationship than 'just met'/acquaintance into a relationship? Or is it the other way around?
Stay amicable with her, don't ignore her completely
Stay friends and try your best to persuade her. Always be there for her. She'll come round eventually.

Make sure you tell other girls that you like them in the future too.

Never be afraid to make your feelings known to girls. It's a good method because it shows them that you care
I've been there. For me it was my best friend and I REALLY liked her. In that case best to end all communication

If this is a decent friend but not hugely close, and you think your feelings will go away eventually then you could try and stay friends. But still better to keep your distance for a bit no matter what
Original post by ROOSHVPERSISTS
Stay friends and try your best to persuade her. Always be there for her. She'll come round eventually.

Make sure you tell other girls that you like them in the future too.

Never be afraid to make your feelings known to girls. It's a good method because it shows them that you care


Why bother persuading her? She's already said no.
Original post by Tiger Rag
Why bother persuading her? She's already said no.


Girls can change their minds. Maybe she's a little bit shy or unsure of her feelings at the moment.

All OP needs to do is devout his attention to her and show her his worth. She'll come round.
Original post by Anonymous
If you have been friends with a girl for awhile and you eventually admit that you have feelings for her, but she doesn't feel the same way. What do you do from here? Stay friends? Stop being friends? End communication?

Is it harder to a friendship into a relationship than 'just met'/acquaintance into a relationship? Or is it the other way around?


Original post by ROOSHVPERSISTS
Girls can change their minds. Maybe she's a little bit shy or unsure of her feelings at the moment.

All OP needs to do is devout his attention to her and show her his worth. She'll come round.


No do not persuade her. OP she's made her mind up and you trying to win her over will make you seem more Beta and indesirable to her. Write her off and focus your efforts on winning over another girl, not this one
Original post by Pinkberry_y
No do not persuade her. OP she's made her mind up and you trying to win her over will make you seem more Beta and indesirable to her. Write her off and focus your efforts on winning over another girl, not this one


There is not such thing as beta. If he wants the girl he should focus his efforts on her. She'll appreciate it and will eventually reciprocate.

Shes the prize, he's got to work to get that prize.
Original post by ROOSHVPERSISTS
There is not such thing as beta. If he wants the girl he should focus his efforts on her. She'll appreciate it and will eventually reciprocate.

Shes the prize, he's got to work to get that prize.


When a guy is more out of reach, the girl will find him more desirable. If he's constantly following her around and trying to win her over she will just get bored of him and won't find him attractive in the slightest sense.
He'd be much better of hanging round with other girls and showing this girl he has a life outside her, whilst remaining amicable with her
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by ROOSHVPERSISTS
There is not such thing as beta. If he wants the girl he should focus his efforts on her. She'll appreciate it and will eventually reciprocate.

Shes the prize, he's got to work to get that prize.


Not always. If I tell a guy no, I mean no.
Original post by Pinkberry_y
When a guy is more out of reach, the girl will find her more desirable. If he's constantly following her around and trying to win her over she will just get bored of him and won't find him attractive in the slightest sense.
He'd be much better of hanging round with other girls and showing this girl he has a life outside her, whilst remaining amicable with her


I respectfully disagree. This is the time where he needs to give her his full attention. Now or never. She'll definitely appreciate it
Original post by Tiger Rag
Not always. If I tell a guy no, I mean no.


You are only one person and you're not the person OP is referring to.

Furthermore at no point did op mention her conclusively saying yes or no
Original post by ROOSHVPERSISTS
I respectfully disagree. This is the time where he needs to give her his full attention. Now or never. She'll definitely appreciate it

So for argument's sake, how long would you spend giving your full attention to a girl who's rejected you? A year, two five? Forever?
Sounds like most people said to just move on and find another girl that will like you.
Did this person actually say they didn't have feelings for you? If they haven't, don't assume they don't.
Original post by Anonymous
If you have been friends with a girl for awhile and you eventually admit that you have feelings for her, but she doesn't feel the same way. What do you do from here? Stay friends? Stop being friends? End communication?

Is it harder to a friendship into a relationship than 'just met'/acquaintance into a relationship? Or is it the other way around?


get drunk together and laugh about it
Original post by Anonymous
Did this person actually say they didn't have feelings for you? If they haven't, don't assume they don't.


Yeah, she told me, before she went home.
If you'd cut communication or end a friendship with someone just because they don't return your so called 'feelings' it shows you were never a true friend to begin with. Perhaps you were only "friends" with her because you'd hoped it would get you into her pants.You can't have genuine romantic feelings for someone you've never dated, only a romantic interest (curiosity), infatuation, or desire for what you assume dating them would be like. At the end of the day you have no real idea what dating this person would be like or if you'd even be romantically compatible, you're only making assumptions based on your (non romantic) friendship. It's one thing to have a romantic interest and be curious to know if your friend has the same interest, but its another thing entirely to be confessing feelings or claiming to be in love with someone you've never dated. very cringe tbh

All in all, I'd say you need to stop being butthurt and treat your friend the way you'd want to be treated if lets say a different friend who you weren't romantically interested in asked you out. you would politely decline and continue being friends with them. However if you're obsessed with her to the point that you cant function as a normal friend, then its probably best for both your sakes that you cut contact and stop pretending to be friends. if you've been friends a long time and only just recently developed a romantic interest then i dont see why you shouldn't be able continue seeing her as just a friend- it shouldnt even affect anything. However like i said earlier, if she's just someone you havent been friends with for too long and/or you've always had this infatuation with her since the beginning (i.e were always hoping something would develop from your 'friendship) then just drop the pretence and move on.

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