Social Problems - Please give some advice.
Basically over the last few years I have had some real social issues I've kept to myself and it's got to the point now where my family notice so I thought I should ask for some advice and thoughts if this is a mental condition or something else..
Once issue is that I have sweaty hands most of the time which has stopped me to meeting family and makes me really nervous at work when the boss comes around to the point I just head to the toilet or on lunch just to avoid shaking hands. Another problem I have is I struggle to eat weather at school or work due to the fear of bloating and farting, most of the time I don't but I just can't eat because of what if?? This happened many times at school and was some of my darkest days and hasnt really improved. Also another issue I have had during school is getting really nervous around girls before at sch but now even random people in public, I know this maybe odd but every time I see one who is even slightly attractive my face would go red and I would become really flustered, lose my speech and get wobbly legs ( yes I know this is pretty embarrassing) it got really bad during school to the point that I couldn't talk to any girls (including ones who I have been friends with long term) throughout my last 2 years at school not even say hello, which has made me pretty frustrated. What made it bad was that it made girls nervous around me as well, something which I sure my friends noticed and made me look rather odd. Then last year ago I overheard my parents describing me as socially awkward and as embarrassing after a family gathering which has wrecked my confidence. Additionally over the last few years I've realized through indirect comments that I eat like a goat (ie using back teeth to eat food) and that I toe walk even though I dont notice it ( Autism??).
Since then I have tried to address these issues through buying dricol for my hands which has improved my hands so their at least not visibly sweaty but they still cause me problems. About my bloating problems I still don't eat bar at home in fear of becoming bloated and farting and I've tried getting stuff like snapchat but due to not be very good looking, no girls really give me a chance to talk to them meaning I can't improve confidence with them, though having left school it means I don't see any girls( bar work collages) face to face meaning I won't have any idea weather I still get nervous or not.
Because of this I have become socially withdrawn the last few years through not wanting to go shopping anymore, avoiding the school prom, the hate of eating out and not keeping in contact with long term friend who has just moved away even though we lived like a minute away, something I really regret. I don't feel I have been bullied but I get the felling that I'm rather odd.
So basically what I'm asking have I got some mental issues and what should I do to improve myself socially before I decided to go to uni.
Once issue is that I have sweaty hands most of the time which has stopped me to meeting family and makes me really nervous at work when the boss comes around to the point I just head to the toilet or on lunch just to avoid shaking hands. Another problem I have is I struggle to eat weather at school or work due to the fear of bloating and farting, most of the time I don't but I just can't eat because of what if?? This happened many times at school and was some of my darkest days and hasnt really improved. Also another issue I have had during school is getting really nervous around girls before at sch but now even random people in public, I know this maybe odd but every time I see one who is even slightly attractive my face would go red and I would become really flustered, lose my speech and get wobbly legs ( yes I know this is pretty embarrassing) it got really bad during school to the point that I couldn't talk to any girls (including ones who I have been friends with long term) throughout my last 2 years at school not even say hello, which has made me pretty frustrated. What made it bad was that it made girls nervous around me as well, something which I sure my friends noticed and made me look rather odd. Then last year ago I overheard my parents describing me as socially awkward and as embarrassing after a family gathering which has wrecked my confidence. Additionally over the last few years I've realized through indirect comments that I eat like a goat (ie using back teeth to eat food) and that I toe walk even though I dont notice it ( Autism??).
Since then I have tried to address these issues through buying dricol for my hands which has improved my hands so their at least not visibly sweaty but they still cause me problems. About my bloating problems I still don't eat bar at home in fear of becoming bloated and farting and I've tried getting stuff like snapchat but due to not be very good looking, no girls really give me a chance to talk to them meaning I can't improve confidence with them, though having left school it means I don't see any girls( bar work collages) face to face meaning I won't have any idea weather I still get nervous or not.
Because of this I have become socially withdrawn the last few years through not wanting to go shopping anymore, avoiding the school prom, the hate of eating out and not keeping in contact with long term friend who has just moved away even though we lived like a minute away, something I really regret. I don't feel I have been bullied but I get the felling that I'm rather odd.
So basically what I'm asking have I got some mental issues and what should I do to improve myself socially before I decided to go to uni.
Therapy therapy therapy. Go to your GP, if they don't give it to you, keep going again and go see another GP.
Have you tried phoning mental health hotlines eg Mind and SANEline, they can be invaluable particularly if you're not ready to see a health professional yet. All the callers are trained in mental health and can do wonders in giving you back some confidence or just giving you someone to talk to
Have you tried phoning mental health hotlines eg Mind and SANEline, they can be invaluable particularly if you're not ready to see a health professional yet. All the callers are trained in mental health and can do wonders in giving you back some confidence or just giving you someone to talk to
Thanks for the reply, I think it's about time I seek some help because I feel I have so many issues that has lead to low confidence socially though i'm unsure if this is a mental problem or something??
i know how you feel; you have social anxiety. Its okay, and its so much more common than you might think. I am prescribed propranolol- which is a really safe prescription medication which calms your nerves- i take it before situations I know are going to make me anxious/nervous.
a lot of people are shy and its just the way they are- I am, and I have come to accept it. University can really change people though Ive witnessed it with some of my very previously shy friends who have really come out of their shell. You have such a variety of people you can choose from to hang out with at uni; choose the people who make you feel relaxed and comfortable and not who make you anxious. Surrounding yourself with these people will make you feel happier and at the end of the day thats all that really matters.
Also, if it makes you feel better, a lot of people feel nervous or tense when an attractive person of the opposite sex that they may not know particularly well speaks to them. Its normal- i get like that and my friend who is a really pretty girl, has told me boys often act weird with her and she can tell she makes them nervous and she actually sees it as her own fault; she's not judging the guys who this happens to at all. If u wanna chat at all feel free to DM me
x
a lot of people are shy and its just the way they are- I am, and I have come to accept it. University can really change people though Ive witnessed it with some of my very previously shy friends who have really come out of their shell. You have such a variety of people you can choose from to hang out with at uni; choose the people who make you feel relaxed and comfortable and not who make you anxious. Surrounding yourself with these people will make you feel happier and at the end of the day thats all that really matters.
Also, if it makes you feel better, a lot of people feel nervous or tense when an attractive person of the opposite sex that they may not know particularly well speaks to them. Its normal- i get like that and my friend who is a really pretty girl, has told me boys often act weird with her and she can tell she makes them nervous and she actually sees it as her own fault; she's not judging the guys who this happens to at all. If u wanna chat at all feel free to DM me
x
Original post by may_1
i know how you feel; you have social anxiety. Its okay, and its so much more common than you might think. I am prescribed propranolol- which is a really safe prescription medication which calms your nerves- i take it before situations I know are going to make me anxious/nervous.
a lot of people are shy and its just the way they are- I am, and I have come to accept it. University can really change people though Ive witnessed it with some of my very previously shy friends who have really come out of their shell. You have such a variety of people you can choose from to hang out with at uni; choose the people who make you feel relaxed and comfortable and not who make you anxious. Surrounding yourself with these people will make you feel happier and at the end of the day thats all that really matters.
Also, if it makes you feel better, a lot of people feel nervous or tense when an attractive person of the opposite sex that they may not know particularly well speaks to them. Its normal- i get like that and my friend who is a really pretty girl, has told me boys often act weird with her and she can tell she makes them nervous and she actually sees it as her own fault; she's not judging the guys who this happens to at all. If u wanna chat at all feel free to DM me x
a lot of people are shy and its just the way they are- I am, and I have come to accept it. University can really change people though Ive witnessed it with some of my very previously shy friends who have really come out of their shell. You have such a variety of people you can choose from to hang out with at uni; choose the people who make you feel relaxed and comfortable and not who make you anxious. Surrounding yourself with these people will make you feel happier and at the end of the day thats all that really matters.
Also, if it makes you feel better, a lot of people feel nervous or tense when an attractive person of the opposite sex that they may not know particularly well speaks to them. Its normal- i get like that and my friend who is a really pretty girl, has told me boys often act weird with her and she can tell she makes them nervous and she actually sees it as her own fault; she's not judging the guys who this happens to at all. If u wanna chat at all feel free to DM me
xthanks for the reply x. I've always been a shy person but I used to be able to talk to girls before and not be afraid of being myself etc, but since y10 people have pointed out to me about my sweaty hands (hyperhidrosis), the way Ieat etc and I have become really sub-conscious about myself which has meant I've become more socially withdrawn. Then these issues have got worse since people started to drift from me which has probably meant I've become more nervous talking to people and other bizarre things like worrying If I will pass wind publicly etc. This felling of being not accepted my the majority had lead to me being arrogant to make myself feel better but this has lead to me rubbing people up the wrong way and has placed me into this cycle of insecurity of being nervous walking by myself and when eating out weather people judge me for the way I eat or my table manners (eg eating with my right hand). Overall this has been a pain in my life and I'm determined to sort this out during my work experience and before uni. (Thanks again for the reply, I will DM you after I create a new account because I'm a big tsr user and I would like to remain anonymous).
Original post by Becca.b
I'd say there is probably something up, whether its just something you've built up in your head or anxiety or something like that. Go see your GP. As to autism, usually it is noticed in younger children and isn't left this long before being diagnosed.
Thanks for the reply x. I glad it's probably not something like Autism but It's probably something mental. I would like to go to the GP but it's difficult to go to one due to living remotely and not wanting to tell my parents.
Original post by EllisNet
You're not alone. I've had similar issues. If you want we can talk about in PM
Thanks I will PM you when I get at bit of time because I would like to create a new account to remain anonymous.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks I will PM you when I get at bit of time because I would like to create a new account to remain anonymous.
Sure NP
I think you really need to talk to someone about this. Go to your GP and they will refer you to a therapist.
I was feeling exactly the same as you a couple of years ago, I wouldn't go out for days on end and going to the supermarket would usually end in me having a panic attack in the car and refusing to get out. As daunting and scary it may be, you will need to push yourself to overcome your fears and anxieties.
I've improved quite a bit by going to therapy, along with taking medication.
I wish you all the best
I was feeling exactly the same as you a couple of years ago, I wouldn't go out for days on end and going to the supermarket would usually end in me having a panic attack in the car and refusing to get out. As daunting and scary it may be, you will need to push yourself to overcome your fears and anxieties.
I've improved quite a bit by going to therapy, along with taking medication.
I wish you all the best
Original post by jayokay
I think you really need to talk to someone about this. Go to your GP and they will refer you to a therapist.
I was feeling exactly the same as you a couple of years ago, I wouldn't go out for days on end and going to the supermarket would usually end in me having a panic attack in the car and refusing to get out. As daunting and scary it may be, you will need to push yourself to overcome your fears and anxieties.
I've improved quite a bit by going to therapy, along with taking medication.
I wish you all the best
I was feeling exactly the same as you a couple of years ago, I wouldn't go out for days on end and going to the supermarket would usually end in me having a panic attack in the car and refusing to get out. As daunting and scary it may be, you will need to push yourself to overcome your fears and anxieties.
I've improved quite a bit by going to therapy, along with taking medication.
I wish you all the best
Thanks for the reply mate. I will try to when my parents are away and I would prefer them not to know what I'm going through. On a wider note what ways should I try and improve my anxieties. I'm currently on work experience and it has improve my confidence in things such as shaking hands with employees (something a few months ago would have been very traumatic) and talking about work related things but I often find myself stumbling with words and unable to hold a conversation meaning it gets very awkward. I've tried things like snapchat to talk to girls but I have found it a near impossible experience to talk as they don't give you a chance due to your looks. Any advice would be great!
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