Worries about Uni life knocking me down..

Ok, so this is going to be slightly long so please bare with me. I'll be moving from Manchester to London - East London Uni. This is just for first year because I love the city. Anyway, I;m the kind of perosn with loads of hopes, passions and aspirations but not once in my life have I put myself up there to people. i see these popular people or even people my age doing awesome stuff and I die insice a bit because I know i'm capable of all of that, I have the passion, personality and love for things like that. Yet something, whether it's fear or opporitunuty stops me. Im hiding it and on the outside showing a confident face but i'm petrified about Uni. I will be living in the student village there and the thought of having flat mates etc genuinly scares me. Im **** at negotating or even getting a point across and above that, I'm literally **** at banter hahaha..I also am not into parties or things like that and a lot of people go to some where like london for that... AND I would call myself rather weird. I'm the type to aim to live a carefree life and all woo but i never actually do, I just end up being the girl on the side with one other friend who probably uses me to get around college. Even though, I see the crowd or friends I was born to be with. I guess moving away, will teach me more about myself and teach me how to stand up for myself etc but its just the thought of failing that scares me. This whole time I had an excuse, now I dont. The whole world is infront of me. Any opportunity. What if I dont use it ?
Sorry about the little rant guys. Hope you's understand..

Ok, so this is going to be slightly long so please bare with me. I'll be moving from Manchester to London - East London Uni. This is just for first year because I love the city. Anyway, I;m the kind of perosn with loads of hopes, passions and aspirations but not once in my life have I put myself up there to people. i see these popular people or even people my age doing awesome stuff and I die insice a bit because I know i'm capable of all of that, I have the passion, personality and love for things like that. Yet something, whether it's fear or opporitunuty stops me. Im hiding it and on the outside showing a confident face but i'm petrified about Uni. I will be living in the student village there and the thought of having flat mates etc genuinly scares me. Im **** at negotating or even getting a point across and above that, I'm literally **** at banter hahaha..I also am not into parties or things like that and a lot of people go to some where like london for that... AND I would call myself rather weird. I'm the type to aim to live a carefree life and all woo but i never actually do, I just end up being the girl on the side with one other friend who probably uses me to get around college. Even though, I see the crowd or friends I was born to be with. I guess moving away, will teach me more about myself and teach me how to stand up for myself etc but its just the thought of failing that scares me. This whole time I had an excuse, now I dont. The whole world is infront of me. Any opportunity. What if I dont use it ?
Sorry about the little rant guys. Hope you's understand..

Ok, so this is going to be slightly long so please bare with me. I'll be moving from Manchester to London - East London Uni. This is just for first year because I love the city. Anyway, I;m the kind of perosn with loads of hopes, passions and aspirations but not once in my life have I put myself up there to people. i see these popular people or even people my age doing awesome stuff and I die insice a bit because I know i'm capable of all of that, I have the passion, personality and love for things like that. Yet something, whether it's fear or opporitunuty stops me. Im hiding it and on the outside showing a confident face but i'm petrified about Uni. I will be living in the student village there and the thought of having flat mates etc genuinly scares me. Im **** at negotating or even getting a point across and above that, I'm literally **** at banter hahaha..I also am not into parties or things like that and a lot of people go to some where like london for that... AND I would call myself rather weird. I'm the type to aim to live a carefree life and all woo but i never actually do, I just end up being the girl on the side with one other friend who probably uses me to get around college. Even though, I see the crowd or friends I was born to be with. I guess moving away, will teach me more about myself and teach me how to stand up for myself etc but its just the thought of failing that scares me. This whole time I had an excuse, now I dont. The whole world is infront of me. Any opportunity. What if I dont use it ?
Sorry about the little rant guys. Hope you's understand..

I'm feeling exactly the same - moving to London as well... You just made my day, knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way!

Hello ,

Right - interesting post. I'd say from an overview, you lack motivation. You lack the motivation to chase these things you want. You say that you have this passion and stuff but genuinely it sounds like you don't - you aren't striving for the things you want. You are just sitting back and watching the world pass you by and not doing things you want to do to live this life you want to lead - if that makes sense?

On a deeper view, I don't believe it's a life you want. To come this far and not feel as though you've achieved any of those aspirations or dreams or goals is a little off-putting. You can do these things and chase these passions and alone and still achieve them - so the worrying about other people thing sort of fades there but I do understand.

You are about to attend university, there is no such thing as 'popular groups' or 'popular people'. Everyone at university is mature and there to be studying what they are passionate about and they are paying for it so it's rare they mess around. That's a high school mentality of looking at it and not a healthy one when heading to university - you'll understand when you get there.

Everyone gets scared about going to university in someway or another - do you think you could have a small fear of social anxiety? It's a student village - what are you going to be negotiating with people there? It's just living quarters where everyone generally relaxes and works after being at university in the day. What do you have to be good at banter? Just be human. Be you and just talk to people. University is not about partying and clubbing - it's a glorified part of Freshers week - people don't go to London for the night life, the majority go there because the universities are good and they have worked hard to get there - so, try and keep that in mind as well. No one will think differently of you for not wanting to go out etc because no one is that low at university.

I think you have definitely trapped yourself in a bubble - you may not agree with me but this is what I can tell from your post. University will help you find yourself as a person and teach you individuality and to stand for yourself and at the end of it, it's really rewarding. I think you have a lot of worries and stigmas about university that you need to settle now or it's going to ruin the experience for you and you also have a lot of doubts about yourself - you are going to university so you have achieved chasing one of your passions I assume so there you go - stop comparing yourself to others, life is not a race. Work at your own pace and achieve what you want but your own time scale.

Stop bringing yourself down.

Best of luck

Ok as a person going into their third year who is quite similar to you, I have two pieces of advice:
1) Try to move out of your comfort zone but don't ever make yourself so uncomfortable that you're miserable.
2) If you ever start to feel lost, seek help. Call Nightline whatever. Just don't do what I did and quitely breakdown throughout the year with it all blowing up during the exam season.

I'm also a student in London

Posted from TSR Mobile

Thank you so much for the advice. I will 100% take into account. I was wondering though, what do you mean lost? I mean your advicing me, possibly because you have been through it right? so what was 'lost' ???

I don't know how to describe it really. For me it's just that my mental health went downhill very quickly. Its always been a bit unstable but it's like the weight of my life until now just started to hit me in the space of for months. The stress of university obviously didn't help that at all and I just became completely lost with life. I wanted to drop out, stopped caring about almost eveything etc. I nearly failed my exams and had to beg to be allowed to carry on to my Masters year since last year (2nd year) I got just below what I needed to automatically got on.

The summer has somewhat helped but I am by no means completely better and the help I'm going to need when I go back to uni is probably what I should have seeked when this all started. It would have probably made everything a lot easier.

I am not saying this will happen to you. You will probably be fine. But it's just a warning that whilst university is a lot of fun, you probably will never have experienced a situation like it. Add on the pressure of living in London (though you're from Manchester so you'll probably be fine) it is a shock to the system that will affect some people more than others.



Posted from TSR Mobile

Oh man, can I just say I love your reply. your 100% right about everything. See, everything you said and mentioned that is how I am to the outside world. I show no anxiety, no doubt, not even any worries. but deep inside this is eevrything running through me. I believe I need to start living my words as I write a lot of motivational stuff. You could almost in ways call me a hypocrite.
The thing you explained about Uni an dhow people will be, I thought the same.but I watched a few youtube videos etc of students in first years, talking about their experience and its good, yes. But even the people talking, I can see from them that they are immature. The kind i would still see in college, doing stupid stuff, talking about really irrelavant things - so thats what got me cautious.

Also, its a studen villiage yes but there could be problems like people stealing stuff or not cleaning the kitchen etc, I have heard such things happen. And the thing about banter. Trust me, I believe in the whole be human thing! buttttttt. in thois day and age, where I come from anyway, with people my age conversations are ran on banter, I know it sounds really stupid but that is all i know.
Thank you a lot! you really have helped. No, your right. I am in a bubble. This is exactly why I have to go uni far, I need to find myself. Just let myself be. Im always trapped with a bunch of expectations and fears.
One question however, what can I do about lacking motivation? or is there not actually much I can do. Maybe one day, it may just click?
Thank you!!!

right, ok. thank you so much for giving me some insight.
One last question. what got you in that position? how did you become so low mentally? if you dont mind me asking. or was it just your mindset towards life itself?

You're "a person with high hopes and passions?"

No, you're not. You're going to East London Uni.

Hello ,

I'm glad that you enjoyed my reply - nice to know it didn't offend you. I'm glad I was able to make an accurate comment to your problem and hopefully try and allow you to see it from an outsiders perspective. It's not unusual to be a hypocrite, a lot of people are. The best example is giving out advice when you aren't able to take the same advice yourself so don't worry about it too much.

Understandable - some YouTube videos do help and yeah, there are ups and downs about university and there may be times you run across the occasional 'immature' person but it won't always be like it. University really is what YOU make it. It's understandable and good to be cautious but try not to let it consume you.

It may happen - you may get people that don't clean the kitchen and steal some stuff but it happens, it happened to me but you've got to think it's not life or death and you've just got to move on from it. It'll be okay - it's just about embracing the experience and living it through.

What can you do to improve your motivation? Set goals and targets for yourself. Set things apart so you can see clearly each individual goal and how you progress for each is going. Focus on one thing at a time. Take pictures, compare where you were at one point to where you are now, pros and cons list etc. Just push yourself to achieve what you want. Much like really wanting something that is expensive and you have to save and save and save until one day you can buy it.

Best of luck

I think I've always had mental health issues it's just that until that point I'd become very good at denying they existed/functioning with them. My attitude to life was fine until then. Essentially, I can only describe as me keep things bottled up for far too kong and as you know, that never ends well.



Posted from TSR Mobile

I think I've always had mental health issues it's just that until that point I'd become very good at denying they existed/functioning with them. My attitude to life was fine until then. Essentially, I can only describe as me keep things bottled up for far too kong and as you know, that never ends well.



Posted from TSR Mobile

You're "a person with high hopes and passions?"

No, you're not. You're going to East London Uni.

ok so firstly, thank you for taking the time out to read everything I wrote purely to write a useless comment. Secondly, I am aware UEL does not have a great rep nor good ranking. But I have left college with a good A,B and C grade. I was holding offers in both SOAS and Brunel. However with my choice I decided to move into UEL purely because I like the surroundings and campus. I will maybe be moving out after first year to a Uni with a better rep but I figured I'll do what I want for the first year, because well.. Why not.. Now whichever Uni i want to go, does not determine whether I am passionate with high hopes and on top of that, you are 100% no one to judge me. So please quit the negativity and go do something valuable with your time. Thank you.

if ur gonna be independent and ur worried about immature ppl, i wld recommend not feeding the trolls.

ok, so I know this is going to sound retarded but what do you actually mean by that? Like im genuinly asking that as advice. So say all through out life, people will come face with people who are trolls, so its best to just ignore and move on? thats what your saying? rather than standing up for yourself? correct me if im wrong dude. It's just ive always known people to depend themselves with such remarks..