How should I have reacted?

Recently, as my girlfriend and I walked back from the beach, still wearing our swimming stuff, we passed a group of 'lads'. As we did so, two of them looked at her, only for one to say "there goes the slut of the beach".

Despite them only saying it very quietly, I'm fairly sure she heard as she clammed up rather for the next few hours. I continued walking and didn't even acknowledge if as I considered it so unworthy of response.

I'm wondering how girls would expect a boyfriend to react. Should I have confronted them? Attacked them? Should I have simply told her not to listen or some such? Was not reacting a mistake?

Reply 1

GradesUnlocked

As a boyfriend, or I should just say being in a relationship, you look at your partner as a protector. Some form of safety, someone you can turn to.

Confronting them could have sparked off something that is not necessary, but not confronting them could of course spark something within your relationship. I'd imagine that your partner feels quite annoyed because you 'failed to protect her'.

Perhaps speak to her about it, let her know you were perhaps wrong for letting things slide so easily, even comforting her after if you had not felt comfortable or it necessary confronting the lads.

Reply 2

HiccupingDuck

Well, If I was in the situation and my boyfriend would have confronted them or attacked them I would've just told them to leave it so I don't think that would've been the right response. Just to ignore idiots like this, I think personally, is the right thing as I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction that their comment has effected me. However, If this did happen and it had obviously effected me like your girlfriend, I would expect my boyfriend to say something to cheer me up or to tell me not to listen - something to boost my spirits so it wouldn't ruin my day.

Reply 3

BataclanBataBANG

She's cheating on you my man. Ditch that **** quick homes.

Why?

Original post by Anonymous

Why?

Because the dud siad she was a slut no smoke without fire my man

sorry bro

Reply 6

username2130115

you should have confronted them. you'd let someone talk crap about your girlfriend infront of you? wtf

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by HiccupingDuck

She didn't seem upset, just a touch quiet, but this may have been unrelated. She probably assumes I just didn't hear. Just dont want it to destabilise anything - make her think I don't care, or can't protect her.

Reply 8

ANM775

If the lads didn't look like the fighting type, or they looked scrawny enough that I could take them ...I would have probably said something back.

If it looked like I would not be able to win in a physical altercation I would have probably looked at them and muttered "Idiots" to my gf in a voice too low for them to hear.

confronting a bunch of lads by yourself [If they can take you] isn't a good idea, especially if there is an attractive lady with you. The males will especially be looking to stick the boot in and make you seem small and inadequate.

Reply 9

Dancatpro

Right there were 2 options.

Confront them while in front of your girlfriend and possibly have your ass handed to you, but that means you also defend your girlfriend.

or

Wait until after they pass and explain to your girlfriend that you didn't want to start anything and that she is 100% not a slut and those lads are complete c****

(edit: By the sound of it you couldn't handle yourself in a fight with those lads, so the 2nd option is probably preferable to you. Don't listen to the other commenters who are saying 100% go for a fight ... don't go into a fight you can't win)

However doing nothing is a mistake, you can learn from mistakes, maybe apologise to your girlfriend.

Best of luck~

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Thanks for your replies - this seems to be quite high stakes for a muttered comment I may well have not heard. What if I simply hadn't heard?!

Reply 11

Dancatpro

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for your replies - this seems to be quite high stakes for a muttered comment I may well have not heard. What if I simply hadn't heard?!

Well that would suck, then as soon as you find about it then you should comfort your girlfriend and tell her you would have confronted those guys if you had heard what they said

Reply 12

HiccupingDuck

Original post by Anonymous

You should have said something to her then to make sure she doesn't feel this way, and that it doesn't play on your mind - It's your opinion she values not some idiots. Next time if this happens just say something to nip this uncertainty in the bud!

Plus, a little flattery from your boyfriend is always nice. :wink: