Muslim Women Living in UK & Societal Pressure

Salam, do muslimahs living in UK (or western world in general) find it difficult to fine tune the balance between societal pressure and religion? Since women are expected to be qualified academically and working but also expected to look after household children/younger siblings does this make life difficult?

Is it difficult to find a faithful and religious husband?

If you were given a chance would you prefer to raise a family in UK or any muslim country?

How do you deal with all the feminist ideologies floating around? Are you influenced by them?

Being muslims we are expected to cover our self and dress modestly does practicing proper hijab difficult in western society?

Reply 1

h333

Wasalaam
I have yet not had any difficulty in practicing my religion or had any difficulty in socialising overall. No it does not make life difficult as both can be fairly manageable. However, not every woman will do both at the same time (eg work and look after the household as some may decide later on in life to stop working etc), it all depends on each individual's circumstances and choice.

No I don't think it is difficult to find a faithful and religious husband if you seek sincerely, sometimes it may be for some, but it is not impossible.

I would not mind raising my children anywhere that allows us to practice Islam. I don't believe there is a proper "Muslim/Islamic country" today but I will say yes there is countries that are Muslim Majority. For now as I am in the UK and with my family, I would like to raise my children here (insha'Allah) as I am able to practice my religion here. If in the future I am not able to, then I would move out to somewhere I am able to practice my religion.

I don't really concentrate on/follow feminism because I do not feel the need to when I got Islam as my guidnace in life. And so I would say I am not really influenced by it.

So far I have not found it difficult to practice the hijab (Alhamdulillah).

Hope I have answered some of the questions, sorry for not going into too much detail :smile:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 2

Warrior Gene

Thank you for your answers much appreciated.

Reply 3

CookieButter

Original post by h333

Wasalaam

in replying to a salam you have many options wasalaam is not one of them. It is incorrect. This reply does not exist in the arabic language. In Arabic wasalaam means 'and hello'. It doesn't make sense.*

*You can say, wa alaykom asalaam, which means and peace be onto you, this is very formal, or you can say salaam back and this is your informal option.*

Original post by Warrior Gene

Being muslims we are expected to cover our self and dress modestly does practicing proper hijab difficult in western society?

There are a lot of pressures on muslim girls in western society and the words 'a lot' are a huge understatement. The majority of these pressures come from the outside world and not family who act as a support for the girl.*I think the hijab is one of the biggest pressures they face, since it makes them stand out.

As such, they fall victim to bullying, racism and hate of all sorts even physical violence. I've witnessed and experienced these things myself affecting muslim girls around me. This is why my advice to all practicing muslim girls wanting a career in the UK is to try and find a university in a mixed part of the country where they can have a safer more fulfilling environment that is more conducive to learning. *

I know a practicing muslim girl, an 15A*s at GCSE's, 6As at A-level genius, who studied medicine at Cambridge and her life was literally made hell through bullying and racism in that university. It affected her life and her performance on the course greatly. They would not leave her in peace. She was averaging a 2-2 come third year. its not until she decided she literally could take no more and transferred to London to complete her medical degree that she could breath again. She graduated a few years later with a distinction at one of the top universities in London. Sadly, a lot of muslim girls are driven to take off their hijab and things like that through bullying in society. Its sad but sometimes understandable, them deciding to take their hijab off for safety and stuff like that. *

Original post by Warrior Gene

Is it difficult to find a faithful and religious husband?

I'm not a Muslima but I would say yes. Muslims are a non-existent scattered minority in this country. Finding a relationship with those rare specifications is not going to be an easy feat.*

Original post by Warrior Gene

How do you deal with all the feminist ideologies floating around? Are you influenced by them?

This is a very interesting question. I would love to read an answer to it from any girl not just a muslim.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 4

h333

Original post by CookieButter

Sorry I was in a hurry then, you are right I was more of meant to say "wa'alaikum Assalaam" but shortened there in a hurry. Thanks for reminding :smile:

Reply 5

Tpos

Original post by h333

Sorry I was in a hurry then, you are right I was more of meant to say "wa'alaikum Assalaam" but shortened there in a hurry. Thanks for reminding :smile:

Everyone knows wsalaam is short for wa alaykum salaam, it's not a big deal is it

(OP I do intend to answers those questions later)

Reply 6

h333

Original post by Tpos

Everyone knows wsalaam is short for wa alaykum salaam, it's not a big deal is it

(OP I do intend to answers those questions later)

Yeah I expect Muslims to know but it is better to type it in the formal/correct way (or not shorten it :colondollar:

) so I didn't mind being reminded. I did so today without realising/in a hurry. Anway irl I don't respond in a shorten way or anything lol.

Reply 7

Tpos

Original post by h333

Yeah I expect Muslims to know but it is better to type it in the formal/correct way (or not shorten it :colondollar:

) so I didn't mind being reminded. I did so today without realising/in a hurry. Anway irl I don't respond in a shorten way or anything lol.

I don't think anyone does IRL lol

Reply 8

h333

Original post by Tpos

I don't think anyone does IRL lol

True....but you never know :lol:

Reply 9

Warrior Gene

Original post by Tpos

(OP I do intend to answers those questions later)

....

Reply 10

Tpos

Original post by Warrior Gene

Wa alaykum salaam,
Well, in Islam both males and females must be educated anyway, and women are allowed to work. The problem comes with the differences in social norms between e.g. conservative Asian Muslims and western cultures.

At the moment, I feel like I would want to work even when I'm married, even it's part time, because I don't like the idea of being home all day. I can't seem to use that time wisely and would probably end up being a lazy slob because I'd be so bored. But some people like being at home and they can easily fill up their day with chores and hobbies.

I've just started working full time and if I had to look after a household by myself too I would find that incredibly difficult. I think when both partners are working - and these days it is common because a)bills need to be paid b)both want a career then comprises need to be paid, and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship if my husband wasn't willing to help me out with some of the housework.

However, I ideally would work only part time, or not work at all if I had kids. Personally, I don't think it's possible to do the best job possible bringing up kids if you only see them a couple of hours a day, especially when they're young. That's not to bash working parents, but that's just saying *the best* situation is for kids to be with at least one parent for a considerable amount of time - in my opinion - and obviously, using that time wisely to educate and fulfil all their needs.

Is it difficult to find a faithful and religious husband?

It seems to be hard finding someone through traditional means - i.e within social networks, by word of mouth. I'm technically looking, well I'd be open to suggestions - I don't know how to look, and my friends have the same problem. I think one reason is that it's become more common for people to marry those they know through uni or work, whereas before your families would make the effort to find you someone lol. Also, matrimonial sites and matrimonial events are a thing now, but not my sorta thing. But I'll end up in one of them if I get desperate I guess.

If you were given a chance would you prefer to raise a family in UK or any muslim country?

Anywhere where my family are and where we can freely practice Islam, and generally have freedom of choice.

How do you deal with all the feminist ideologies floating around? Are you influenced by them?

I believe Islam is fair to both genders but Muslims aren't, therefore I agree with some aspects of feminist ideologies but only because they agree with Islamic teachings :wink:

I don't describe myself as a feminist, and especially wouldn't associate myself with the kind of feminists who believe protesting nude is a protest at all (and covering up is oppression). There's other associations made with feminist Muslims that I don't support e.g these: https://t.co/OBRwC6Bp4I

Being muslims we are expected to cover our self and dress modestly does practicing proper hijab difficult in western society?

Yes. I feel like as I've grown up, gone to uni and started work I've ended up dressing less modestly in some ways. I mean, I don't think I'm that bad but I know I could do better that's for sure. And the judging kind may have a few words to say about a few things I've worn. But it's an everyday struggle, it's something I know I need to improve and I know where I go wrong. I believe I have my limits e.g not wearing extremely tight stuff, not bearing arms/legs etc and inshaAllah I won't break those limits. But I know how easy it is to slowly start giving into social norms, changing one thing at time, making excuses, telling yourself it is fine, and then one day realising how far you've fallen, How you're doing something you thought you'd never do - something only others did, that shocked/disgusted/confused you.

Anyhow, it's about continuously checking yourself and being comfortable with modest clothes.(Also, the difficulty in finding modest wear is a huge factor in not dressing modestly enough but I guess there are some alternatives - you just have to make yourself like them) Obviously, being around people who do the same is helpful, but it can still be hard in terms of when you're at work or with other friends.