Is this lie a big deal? should I confront him or get over it?

From my reading of this, clearly you are trying to control him. He needs your permission to talk to friends ? This sounds like a jealous 14 year old teen relationship in honesty. Why should he stop talking to girls that he is friendly with ( or at least thinks so ) or throw away a souvenir ? He lied to you to avoid an argument because most guys know that women will argue over some tiny thing that a guy doesn't feel is important in any way at all.

About not being allowed to have guys numbers, tell him to **** off. Plain and simple, he is controlling there but you must both be willing to trust each other, and it sounds like you do not trust him nor him you.

Having any form of contact with exes is a reason to ghost him,

I don't know if this is good advise as I've never been in a romantic relationship before, but from others Ive learnt that if there is a problem it's best to talk about it with each other rather than staying quiet and leaving it in the dark as it can cause such dread? Or paranoia to the mind when in the end it's something quite small or just a misunderstanding.

I was at my boyfriends last night and whilst doing the bed the morning after, i found a ticket to the aquarium poking out of an old card holder. My reaction was "aww he must have kept the ticket from when we went 3 years ago", so I took it out to have a look as I thought it was cute that he kept it as a memory.

However, the date on it was from when he took his ex-gf there for her birthday. The only other things in there were his old student cards that haven't been used in years. I just brushed it off as I didn't want to make a big deal as its so petty, and it probably means nothing, he just never threw it away.

Before he left he grabbed his wallet which was next to the card holder, so I said 'aren't you taking your card holder' and passed it to him. He said no I don't need it and I said ok and put it back down with the ticket in sight. I then said "oh look its the ticket!" and he was like 'oh yeah, its probably not from when we went as its so old'. I was satisfied with that as atleast he didn't pretend it was from me, so I went downstairs to head out together. He then shouted from the top of the stairs, "its from 2010 from when my mum took me hhahaahha"! (but the ticket was from 2013 as I had seen it!) I then said "oh can I see, is the design different?" and he said no. I just accepted it and changed the subject. I didn't want to catch him out lying as I didn't want to cause drama, but I did find it odd that he'd lie about something so small. Maybe he did keep it for sentimental reasons, or did he just not want to cause drama so did the right thing by lying to protect my feelings'? Should I confront him or get over it?


Bit of context if it helps:
He has lied previously about other girls, nothing like cheating, just gone behind my back to talk to girls that he was friends with online from his past to 'see if they were ok'. On one occasion I found a stream of texts saying "hey, hello x, hi" all from him, which the girl was ignoring (I also know he found this girl pretty). I asked him why he was trying to reach out to her and it was because when he knew her she was anorexic/depressed/suicidal (which is true). He promised me this was the only communication they had but I didn't believe him as how would he have gotten her number after all these years? I then found out from HER that he had been trying to talk to her on Skype for weeks, which she wasn't interested in but he kept on trying to chat and so she gave him her number to shut him up. She didn't need 'helping'. She said it wasn't flirtatious, but there was x's etc. I don't know what his intention was but I have forgiven him and nothing has happened since (been about 1.5 years since then)! The reason I found this such a big deal was because Im not allowed to have guys numbers. I don't control him yet I have to tell him everything, but he still felt the need to go behind my back.

Okay, I will make this real simple. He is allowed to have girls' numbers but you are not allowed to have guys' numbers?

This is an unequal relationship. He is controlling you.

In terms of the other stuff, he is being real shady.

If you don't leave the relationship now, you will leave in another few years and wonder why you didn't.

You've answered your own question. You have no intention of leaving the relationship so obviously that lie can't be a big deal to you.
You've had to defend your relationship quite a bit in your answers which also says something but hey if you're happy with it then others opinions shouldn't matter. Personally the context and the past background you gave of him doesn't sound great, so another lie would just be the final straw, but then again I wouldn't have hung around so long if a guy was as controlling as he sounds.

I agree with ilovegoats, you might end up looking back and thinking you should have left ages ago

I was at my boyfriends last night and whilst doing the bed the morning after, i found a ticket to the aquarium poking out of an old card holder. My reaction was "aww he must have kept the ticket from when we went 3 years ago", so I took it out to have a look as I thought it was cute that he kept it as a memory.

However, the date on it was from when he took his ex-gf there for her birthday. The only other things in there were his old student cards that haven't been used in years. I just brushed it off as I didn't want to make a big deal as its so petty, and it probably means nothing, he just never threw it away.

Before he left he grabbed his wallet which was next to the card holder, so I said 'aren't you taking your card holder' and passed it to him. He said no I don't need it and I said ok and put it back down with the ticket in sight. I then said "oh look its the ticket!" and he was like 'oh yeah, its probably not from when we went as its so old'. I was satisfied with that as atleast he didn't pretend it was from me, so I went downstairs to head out together. He then shouted from the top of the stairs, "its from 2010 from when my mum took me hhahaahha"! (but the ticket was from 2013 as I had seen it!) I then said "oh can I see, is the design different?" and he said no. I just accepted it and changed the subject. I didn't want to catch him out lying as I didn't want to cause drama, but I did find it odd that he'd lie about something so small. Maybe he did keep it for sentimental reasons, or did he just not want to cause drama so did the right thing by lying to protect my feelings'? Should I confront him or get over it?


Bit of context if it helps:
He has lied previously about other girls, nothing like cheating, just gone behind my back to talk to girls that he was friends with online from his past to 'see if they were ok'. On one occasion I found a stream of texts saying "hey, hello x, hi" all from him, which the girl was ignoring (I also know he found this girl pretty). I asked him why he was trying to reach out to her and it was because when he knew her she was anorexic/depressed/suicidal (which is true). He promised me this was the only communication they had but I didn't believe him as how would he have gotten her number after all these years? I then found out from HER that he had been trying to talk to her on Skype for weeks, which she wasn't interested in but he kept on trying to chat and so she gave him her number to shut him up. She didn't need 'helping'. She said it wasn't flirtatious, but there was x's etc. I don't know what his intention was but I have forgiven him and nothing has happened since (been about 1.5 years since then)! The reason I found this such a big deal was because Im not allowed to have guys numbers. I don't control him yet I have to tell him everything, but he still felt the need to go behind my back.

Thank you. I just want to know why people would see it as "the final straw" and why his past actions aren't great? Do you think what he did was a big deal? I thought people would laugh at me for even thinking it was an issue for him to text a girl without telling me. It was just the lying that hurt me. Nothing has happened since he is extremely faithful. And this new 'lie' could've just been an honest mistake or to protect my feelings.

I dont intend to leave the relationship no, I am just curious why people think these 2 incidences of petty lies within a 3 year relationship isn't a good sign and means our r/s is doomed?