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My crush has a girlfriend, kill me

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Move Out. It'll seem like nothing.
Reply 21
Original post by Anonymous
I didn't ask her as I hadn't come out as gay yet and wasn't in a place where I was ready to date someone, and then she got a girlfriend. Her and her first gf broke up so I wanted to ask her out but I just heard that she found someone else


And this all took place within the space of a few years? Girl, that is still plenty of time to have worked up the hypothetical balls to ask her out. Was she supposed to read your mind, or sense that you are a lesbian through some kind of telekinesis? Life is way too short to let nerves stop you from asking someone out, even if the window of time is short, unless she literally dumped her girlfriend and found a new girl within the space of an hour (in which case, maybe it's for the best lmao), then there was likely still enough time to be honest with her. The best thing you can do now, for you and her, is move on.
Original post by MPH125
And this all took place within the space of a few years? Girl, that is still plenty of time to have worked up the hypothetical balls to ask her out. Was she supposed to read your mind, or sense that you are a lesbian through some kind of telekinesis? Life is way too short to let nerves stop you from asking someone out, even if the window of time is short, unless she literally dumped her girlfriend and found a new girl within the space of an hour (in which case, maybe it's for the best lmao), then there was likely still enough time to be honest with her. The best thing you can do now, for you and her, is move on.


I know, I'm an idiot :frown:. It took so long because I was dealing with some internalized homophobia from my upbringing so I always told myself that I couldn't ask her out or anything, only in the last couple of months am I now ok with myself.

She broke up with her ex before summer and has been abroad all summer so I planned to wait until she was home and speak to her at a party next week. She got a new gf whilst she was on holiday though. I've learnt a horrible lesson I suppose.
Reply 23
Original post by Anonymous
I know, I'm an idiot :frown:. It took so long because I was dealing with some internalized homophobia from my upbringing so I always told myself that I couldn't ask her out or anything, only in the last couple of months am I now ok with myself.

She broke up with her ex before summer and has been abroad all summer so I planned to wait until she was home and speak to her at a party next week. She got a new gf whilst she was on holiday though. I've learnt a horrible lesson I suppose.


A holiday fling? Hell, so unless she brought her back, what's the issue? Is it a long distance thing?
Original post by Anonymous
I've been really into a girl for a couple of years and had finally decided that I was going to ask her out tomorrow. I was so excited about this and planned it in my head for ages. I found out today that she met someone and they're now dating and I'm devestated.

How do I get over this? I really really like her, I want her to be my girlfriend so badly


Really sorry I know it takes a lot of guts to confess your feelings for another but I think its better to ALT-CTRL-DEL her. If you wait for her...you will never know that the love of your life who isn't her is around the corner.

Try and keep yourself busy and it will be easier to move on and you can progress on yourself. See yourself as the one who got away not her.
Original post by MPH125
A holiday fling? Hell, so unless she brought her back, what's the issue? Is it a long distance thing?


I think they're more than a holiday fling because her friend told me this girl is her girlfriend, so I guess they're long distance going out.
Reply 26
Original post by Anonymous
I think they're more than a holiday fling because her friend told me this girl is her girlfriend, so I guess they're long distance going out.


Ok, well this next question is going to sound odd, but how old are you and her?
Original post by MPH125
Ok, well this next question is going to sound odd, but how old are you and her?


We're 19, why do you ask?
Reply 28
Original post by Anonymous
We're 19, why do you ask?


Because generally the younger a person is, the less likely a long-distance relationship will work out. Truth is, nothing beats actually seeing the person you love, so I wouldn't worry too much about it, it'll likely fracture over time. However, if you spend all of your time waiting on a girl who's waiting on someone else, you might find you overlook the person waiting on you. Don't sweat it ok, you'll get over her in time.
Reply 29
Original post by UWS
Well mate this is your own fault, why would you wait a few years to ask her out? :s-smilie:

To move on, block her/cut contact and talk to other girls. Don't be so desperate, girls can smell it a mile away.



Please don't give the OP false hope. He should just move on and forget her immediately.


That's rather harsh UWS, I thought you were a nice guy:hmmmm2:
You don't know the full circumstances with the relationship with the girl, maybe 2 years ago she would've said no.
But I agree that he should seek out for a new girl, there's loads of fish in the sea but he shouldn' cut her out completely, I think he should remain friends but don't have any romantic ideas
Original post by MPH125
Because generally the younger a person is, the less likely a long-distance relationship will work out. Truth is, nothing beats actually seeing the person you love, so I wouldn't worry too much about it, it'll likely fracture over time. However, if you spend all of your time waiting on a girl who's waiting on someone else, you might find you overlook the person waiting on you. Don't sweat it ok, you'll get over her in time.


I know it would be bad of me to hope this so I'll just try to forget about her. Thanks for your advice, do you think I should just avoid her at the party?
Original post by hateme
That's rather harsh UWS, I thought you were a nice guy:hmmmm2:
You don't know the full circumstances with the relationship with the girl, maybe 2 years ago she would've said no.
But I agree that he should seek out for a new girl, there's loads of fish in the sea but he shouldn' cut her out completely, I think he should remain friends but don't have any romantic ideas


I'm a she, but thanks for this advice.
Reply 33
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a she, but thanks for this advice.


:lolwut::lolwut::lolwut::lolwut::lolwut::lolwut:

Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous
I've been really into a girl for a couple of years and had finally decided that I was going to ask her out tomorrow. I was so excited about this and planned it in my head for ages. I found out today that she met someone and they're now dating and I'm devestated.

How do I get over this? I really really like her, I want her to be my girlfriend so badly


You only want her so badly cause she is no longer available its your own fault for waiting years.
To get over her you need to find someone else to fancy it always works.

I read the whole thread seeing as she is in LDR why not get friendly with her and subtly show her you are attracted but dont come on to her be there for her. and hope she develops feelings for you that she breaks up with the gf.
I personally dont think LDR works its better seeing someone in the flesh than skyping them 1000 miles away.
(edited 7 years ago)
I agree with other people who have said ,considering her relatively young age, there is a high chance her long distance relationship will not last. Also you say you are going to a party soon and she will be there. You HAVE to show her you are interested in her. It could be that she had absolutely no idea. Then IF her present relationship doesn't work out, she will be aware of you and her feelings for her. [She might even have feelings for you already but was too shy to say anything to you, or didn't know you were gay]. The key thing is communicate with her. Let her know your feelings, then stand back and wait. If it's meant to be it will be.
Original post by chikane
You only want her so badly cause she is no longer available its your own fault for waiting years.
To get over her you need to find someone else to fancy it always works.


I've liked her a lot but her being taken has made me realise this even more. I know it's my fault, I've been stupid
Original post by chikane
You only want her so badly cause she is no longer available its your own fault for waiting years.
To get over her you need to find someone else to fancy it always works.

I read the whole thread seeing as she is in LDR why not get friendly with her and subtly show her you are attracted but dont come on to her be there for her. and hope she develops feelings for you that she breaks up with the gf.
I personally dont think LDR works its better seeing someone in the flesh than skyping them 1000 miles away.


I like this idea thanks, it's all made me realise that I just need to be brave and tell people I like them
Original post by markova21
I agree with other people who have said ,considering her relatively young age, there is a high chance her long distance relationship will not last. Also you say you are going to a party soon and she will be there. You HAVE to show her you are interested in her. It could be that she had absolutely no idea. Then IF her present relationship doesn't work out, she will be aware of you and her feelings for her. [She might even have feelings for you already but was too shy to say anything to you, or didn't know you were gay]. The key thing is communicate with her. Let her know your feelings, then stand back and wait. If it's meant to be it will be.


This has made me more happy, but I know not to get my hopes up. I think I will tell hee that I like her, I'm just worried that it will seem like I'm disrespecting her current relationship and trying to be a homewrecker
Original post by Anonymous
This has made me more happy, but I know not to get my hopes up. I think I will tell hee that I like her, I'm just worried that it will seem like I'm disrespecting her current relationship and trying to be a homewrecker


No dont tell her you like her she's with someone else she will feel uncomfortable what you need to do is get close to her be a friend be there for her and make her feel special and she will probably like you back and seeing as she is not seeingher gf much you will fill that void her gf can't do.
Dont tell her yet you like her. Does she like you back?

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