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Would you ever date someone who's unemployed?

Just found out the guy I was supposed to be going on a date with is unemployed....
Would it put you off if someone you're dating or want to date is unemployed?

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Reply 1
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Yes i would unless they were just incredibly lazy and couldn't be bothered to find a job.
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by UWS
Yes i would unless they were just incredibly lazy and couldn't be bothered to find a job.


What if in their early 20s and unemployed
Reply 3
Avatar for iishai
iishai
4
If you really like the person then it shouldn't stop you. good luck :smile:
Reply 4
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Original post by Anonymous
What if in their early 20s and unemployed


No difference. If they tried/wanted to get a job then that's fine, but if they just didn't care and were being lazy then nope.
So is that the main reason you don't want to go on a date with him? [I read your other post]. If that's the only reason then I think it is incredibly shallow of you, tbh.
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by iishai
If you really like the person then it shouldn't stop you. good luck :smile:


It's not something I can get over easily though. I was brought up my whole life with my mum telling me yes you should support yourself and earn your own, but to always date a man who had a higher degree to you or earnt more than you, as like a power thing. And even for me now, a guy who has power is really attractive to me, whereas now I've found out this guy is unemployed, even though before that I quite liked him, now I'm completely put off and I can't help it
Reply 7
Avatar for chikane
chikane
20
It depends if the person is actively looking then i wouldnt have a problem there are many reasons why people are unemployed. If they weren't bothered and wasting their time playing on their ps4 then i wouldn't want to be with someone so lazy who would probably expect me to pay for him all the time.
Reply 8
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LDR_96
16
Original post by Anonymous
Just found out the guy I was supposed to be going on a date with is unemployed....
Would it put you off if someone you're dating or want to date is unemployed?


As a woman you should always date someone on the same level as you or above. Men get jealous if a woman is earning more because it makes them feel inadequate (especially in a marriage), this was why my parent's marriage broke down.

Don't go on a date with him if he is unemployed. He is not prepared for a relationship. People should have their sh*t together before bringing another person into their lives.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 9
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by markova21
So is that the main reason you don't want to go on a date with him? [I read your other post]. If that's the only reason then I think it is incredibly shallow of you, tbh.

I was already getting cold feet about the date then this morning we talked a bit more and he just mentioned he was unemployed which was like the straw that broke the camels back for me.
But the thing is just a week ago I liked him so much and was even imagining a future with him, but I think I may have just liked the idea of him... :/
I wouldn't date someone if they didn't have a job, unless they're a full time student or recently graduated then I'd give him a chance.
Original post by catholicgirl
As a woman you should always date someone on the same level as you or above. Men get jealous if a woman is earning more because it makes them feel inadequate (especially in a marriage), this was why my parent's marriage broke down.

Don't go on a date with him if he is unemployed. He is not prepared for a relationship. People should have their sh*t together before bringing another person into their lives.


Omg exactly. This is exactly the idea my mum brought me up with, she's like you don't want to be the one caring for the man do you? He needs to be the same level or above you
Original post by Ishax
I wouldn't date someone if they didn't have a job, unless they're a full time student or recently graduated then I'd give him a chance.


He's recently graduated but even that's putting me off
Reply 13
Avatar for iishai
iishai
4
Original post by Anonymous
It's not something I can get over easily though. I was brought up my whole life with my mum telling me yes you should support yourself and earn your own, but to always date a man who had a higher degree to you or earnt more than you, as like a power thing. And even for me now, a guy who has power is really attractive to me, whereas now I've found out this guy is unemployed, even though before that I quite liked him, now I'm completely put off and I can't help it


Maybe see how it goes, you never know. Don't worry about this one person if its not what you thought it would be. *cheesy quote* There are many more fish in the sea.
Depends on whether they were long term unemployed and didn't want to change that, or if they were just taking a short term break between jobs.
Also depends on what they are doing with all their free time.
Original post by Anonymous
Just found out the guy I was supposed to be going on a date with is unemployed....
Would it put you off if someone you're dating or want to date is unemployed?


You're going on a date with him, lovely, not moving in with him. Why should it put you off if he's unemployed?
There are many reasons why people are unemployed, and, believe it or not,it isn't always because they are feckless and lazy. If you like him, you go out with him and see how it works out. X
Yeah, if they weren't making an effort to get work. Also, if they were just a full-time student or something.
Original post by Anonymous
I was already getting cold feet about the date then this morning we talked a bit more and he just mentioned he was unemployed which was like the straw that broke the camels back for me.
But the thing is just a week ago I liked him so much and was even imagining a future with him, but I think I may have just liked the idea of him... :/


Then in that case I think you need to contact him ASAP and cancel the date and explain that you're very sorry to let him down like this, but you have changed your mind and don't want to meet up with him, either now or in the future. Reiterate how sorry you are to let him down and wish him all the best for his future. If you say something like that ,telling him you wish him well, he will know your decision is pretty final. Yes, he will probably be a bit pissed off with you, but considering you've never even met, he'll get over it pretty quickly.
Original post by Anonymous
He's recently graduated but even that's putting me off


Well, then I wouldn't be so harsh on him as he's just recently graduated. It takes time to find a job, it's not that easy. What did he study? It's not like he's been sitting on his ass doing nothing, I'm sure he's actively looking for jobs since he's went to university (I hope anyway).
What if they've just come back from travelling, if they've just graduated, if they've been made redundant? What if they were a contractor who had just finished their assignment, if they've been ill or if they've just relocated to a new city? You aren't automatically a lazy scrounger just for being unemployed.

Original post by Anonymous
Omg exactly. This is exactly the idea my mum brought me up with, she's like you don't want to be the one caring for the man do you? He needs to be the same level or above you


I will never understand why women constantly go on about a gender pay gap, equality in the workplace etc then come out with things like this. For our parents generation it was perfectly normal for the Dad to work whilst the mum worked part time or didn't work at all - literally everyone I knew at school had their parents in this situation. That is not how the world works anymore.

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