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advice on recent exposure to HIV

So I'm a bi guy and sex with a guy yesterday. I didn't know he was HIV + until he told me after.

We had anal sex, he was top, with an extra safe condom (I like to be safe) - he didn't ejaculate in me - only later on himself.

I also have him oral sex with no condom and again there was no semen, only some pre ***.

What are my chances of actually contracting it? Should I get tested even though it only happened one day ago? I think the fact we used a condom, he said his count is low makes it very low.

Any advice please
Basically nil.

He is HIV+, but you didn't get his *** in your bum, or top him without a condom.

Had you done so, if he's been on anti-HIV medication consistently for at least six months, it would have reduced the risk dramatically, possibly to nil.

The oral was safe too. Even if he hadn't been on treatment, him not coming in your mouth will have meant the risk was nil. Had he done so, it would have been somewhere from very very tiny to nil, and probably very close to or at the nil end.

A blood test for HIV will only be reliable after a month. If you had one now, it would tell you your HIV status a month ago. Testing regularly is a good idea - if you're going to be sexual with other men, somewhere between one in fifteen to one in eight-ish will be HIV+, depending on where you are, but most of them aren't going to say...

Oh, there's no real difference in the reliability of 'extra safe' condoms - how a condom is used is far more important.
I'd say definitely get checked up. You can still get it transmitted from oral sex. Better safe than sorry.
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
OP
It just says extra safe / slightly thicker condom on the packet. That's what I thought. The sex was amazing and I want to do it again but even though the risk is so small it's not worth the hassle / worry / potential damage.
Everyone has their own level of acceptable risk, but you can't rely on people telling you they're HIV+ because the large majority don't... for the reason you've just demonstrated.

In terms of HIV risk for anal, doing it with a condom with someone who's out about being HIV+ and having treatment is about as safe as it gets, and you still have the option of PEP - a month's treatment with anti-HIV drugs - should you have a condom failure and he comes inside you.

So you're going to have to ponder whether the pleasure of bottoming with someone's real penis is ever going to be worth the risk for you, outside a relationship with someone you completely trust.
Reply 5
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Anonymous #1
OP
Thanks for your advice.

So just to recap, it's pretty much almost nil chance of me catching it because the only way it could have been potentially transmitted if through the pre come when giving oral sex and no semen was exchanged anally or orally and a condom was used.

Do you know the figures of transmission via anal sex with a condom and oral sex without?
The problem with answering this is that people are not consistent and ethics committees won't approve of locking people up and forcing them to have only one sort of sex.

So if you look at the anal with a condom one, one issue is that most men do not use condoms 100% of the time. We know that consistent condom use reduces the risk dramatically, but exactly how much varies depending on which study you look at. It's become more complicated with the widespread availability of treatment that, by itself, can reduce the chance to nil or very close to it.

For oral, there's a study that reckons the risk - with ejaculation in the mouth - is something like 1 in 10,000, but they had to make some big assumptions to get there, and there are plenty of places saying the risk is nil. If you look at a group of men over time, you find that some of those who had anal without become HIV+ but that everyone who had not did not become HIV+. Did some of the newly HIV+ men become infected via oral? Well, it's possible, but it's also possible that they didn't - you can make up risk percentages to fit either. But given that considerably more oral than anal goes on between men, and that 'oral without' is very common, if there were a risk, I'd expect far more men to be HIV+.

But my favourite sexual thing to do with other men is giving oral, so my perspective may be warped by that.
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by unprinted
The problem with answering this is that people are not consistent and ethics committees won't approve of locking people up and forcing them to have only one sort of sex.

So if you look at the anal with a condom one, one issue is that most men do not use condoms 100% of the time. We know that consistent condom use reduces the risk dramatically, but exactly how much varies depending on which study you look at. It's become more complicated with the widespread availability of treatment that, by itself, can reduce the chance to nil or very close to it.

For oral, there's a study that reckons the risk - with ejaculation in the mouth - is something like 1 in 10,000, but they had to make some big assumptions to get there, and there are plenty of places saying the risk is nil. If you look at a group of men over time, you find that some of those who had anal without become HIV+ but that everyone who had not did not become HIV+. Did some of the newly HIV+ men become infected via oral? Well, it's possible, but it's also possible that they didn't - you can make up risk percentages to fit either. But given that considerably more oral than anal goes on between men, and that 'oral without' is very common, if there were a risk, I'd expect far more men to be HIV+.

But my favourite sexual thing to do with other men is giving oral, so my perspective may be warped by that.


Thanks again for the reply. While I'm not in a relationship at the moment I always always use a condom. If the guy doesn't want to there he gets nothing. Plus I never let a guy *** inside me even with a condom during anal and I never let a guy *** in my mouth either, i don't know why just don't want that **** in my mouth haha - both these these I kept with this HIV guy.

So if 1 in 10,000 oral sex with ejaculation in the moth, without ejaculation must be extremely low if not impossible with just some precum (I've read saliva and stomach acids destroy the virus)
As I say, that figure is the top end of the estimates and it's probably much, much lower. (But when I go down on a man, I want him to come in my mouth...)

Without ejaculation, no-one seriously suggests the risk is anything other than nil.

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