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My Mum and my friends Mum are in a relationship

Hi,

I am very confused and feel betrayed. My mum and friends mum (and we both go to the same college) have always been friends, and both our families have always been good friends.

Now, to cut a long story short they were caught sleeping together. Now they have decided that they are both leaving their husbands (my Dad and my friends Dad) for each other.

I must state I am NOT homophobic but this is a lot for me to take in. I feel hurt and betrayed, and that she is ripping the family apart.

They are both so open about their relationship. People from my College have seen them holding hands and kissing in public. Someone spread a rumour that they were in Ann Summers together (I don't know if this was true or not but I have never been so embarrased in my life).

As soon as the divorce goes through etc they are planning on getting a place together....it's just weirding me out too much. My friends Mum becoming a step mum?

They have both been selfish about this whole thing and don't realise how much it is affecting others. How would you deal with this?

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Reply 1
:frown:
Sounds like some sort of porno.
Reply 3
Sounds like things are moving way too fast for a start.
I'd encourage open and honest dialogue with your mum about this. I'd assume it wasn't an easy move for her to make, but that's not to say it's easy for you either.

You need to let her know how you feel, through open (though diplomatic) conversation. Change is always hugely unsettling. Talking about it with her may not change the situation and what has happened, but at least that way she can be more mindful of how things are affecting you :yes:
Reply 5
this is some soap opera s hit
Loooooooooooooooooooooooool that went 0-100 so quick
Woah man, I'm sorry to hear that both of you have to go through this. Imo I'm not going to condemn your mums love interests as that's purely her own business, but I find it really odd that it has to be with your mates mum. I mean, that's awkward af!

I don't know if this is some phase where it's a mid life crisis sort of thing, but things are moving way to fast. I think you should step in and be the adult for once and remind your mum that she needs to think carefully about this, because once those divorce papers go through - there is no turning back. It's gonna change everything, permanently.

It's not going to be easy to change into this new routine, your friend is potentially your step sibling and your mates mum is now your step mum. I'll struggle with that concept for a while because you've been mates.

Sit your mum down, talk to her and let her know how you feel. If she still doesn't acknowledge your feelings then let her go and live with your dad. You should still support your mum but if things carry on like this then it ain't gonna end pretty.
(edited 7 years ago)
Can I have the story of this so I can make a screenplay? I am planning on starting a porn company.

Seriously though, this is a really bad situation for you. I don't think there is much you can do besides try to ride out the storm.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

I am very confused and feel betrayed. My mum and friends mum (and we both go to the same college) have always been friends, and both our families have always been good friends.

Now, to cut a long story short they were caught sleeping together. Now they have decided that they are both leaving their husbands (my Dad and my friends Dad) for each other.

I must state I am NOT homophobic but this is a lot for me to take in. I feel hurt and betrayed, and that she is ripping the family apart.

They are both so open about their relationship. People from my College have seen them holding hands and kissing in public. Someone spread a rumour that they were in Ann Summers together (I don't know if this was true or not but I have never been so embarrased in my life).

As soon as the divorce goes through etc they are planning on getting a place together....it's just weirding me out too much. My friends Mum becoming a step mum?

They have both been selfish about this whole thing and don't realise how much it is affecting others. How would you deal with this?


I literally don't know what to say. This is the most bizarre thing ever. Good luck mate.

****ing hell
Gosh you lot are sheltered. I see alex found his level.

OP I think your reaction is typical and common for many kids that are caught up in divorce. She is divorcing your dad and not you.
You arent going to change things.
Theres no reason the other person will become your step parent.
Why did she do it? Then you should ask her, but people tend not to leave happy marriages.
I wouldnt bother what college kids think, you will soon have left and nobody will know you at uni.
Reply 11
At the end of the day while it is upsetting at any age for the family dynamic to change, particularly parents splitting up and a new partner being involved, you are now of an age where it shouldn't really be your place to critisise or be any of your business. I think this is a common feeling for children (even adult children) that have their parents going through divorce but unfortunately it happens and it isn't selfish. If someone feels they can't be with another person any more and loves someone else then they need to leave their spouse and be with that person so all parties are happy. Even your dad will be happy in the long run - would you rather he stays with someone who has cheated on him and loves someone else?

While it's very hurtful of both these women to cheat and you must feel betrayed on your father's behalf, your mum has clearly made the adult decision that she is happier with this woman. You are no longer a child and you need to accept her decision and hopefully be happy for her. You still have your mum and dad here and it doesn't sound like this new woman is going to cause any problems or treat you badly... in fact your family is growing. In 10 years you'll probably look on this and be glad it happened. You should be happy that your mum is happy but also be supportive of your dad who is probably hurting.

If you don't want to make things really temptestuous then do not take sides.
(edited 7 years ago)
Your parents have lives outside of you, you know.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Accept that they are both adults and although you feel hurt and betrayed it's your mums life to make this decision, you don't have to be happy with it but as an adult you can't change her mind. As for the people at your college they sound incredibly immature so you shouldn't be bothering yourself with them.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

I am very confused and feel betrayed. My mum and friends mum (and we both go to the same college) have always been friends, and both our families have always been good friends.

Now, to cut a long story short they were caught sleeping together. Now they have decided that they are both leaving their husbands (my Dad and my friends Dad) for each other.

I must state I am NOT homophobic but this is a lot for me to take in. I feel hurt and betrayed, and that she is ripping the family apart.

They are both so open about their relationship. People from my College have seen them holding hands and kissing in public. Someone spread a rumour that they were in Ann Summers together (I don't know if this was true or not but I have never been so embarrased in my life).

As soon as the divorce goes through etc they are planning on getting a place together....it's just weirding me out too much. My friends Mum becoming a step mum?

They have both been selfish about this whole thing and don't realise how much it is affecting others. How would you deal with this?


Blame your dad. When the dick so bad, your mum be changing sexuality lol
Original post by MiloY
Blame your dad. When the dick so bad, your mum be changing sexuality lol


FFS xD
Disown your mother for wreckin 2 families simple. You won't need her in your life for much longer anyway. She is being selfish and risking what should be your future inheritance in favour of a quick shag. A term of the divorce should be that she does not receive a single penny from the sale of the house if your dad does decide to get out the area, or better yet she should have the sense to realise she was in the wrong, unfaithful and generally being a nightmare and so forfeit any claim she may have. It's the least she could do
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by neal95
Disown your mother for wreckin 2 families simple.


Is that what all children should do when their parents divorce? What does that achieve?
Original post by 999tigger
Is that what all children should do when their parents divorce? What does that achieve?


No it isn't and Dosent achieve much. Things change I get that but if you divorce that's fair enough, however it's so awkward for both of these families and the last thing the op needs is their mums rubbing everything in their face. The parents shouldn't be commended or applauded for this decision is all in saying. They've done what they've felt they needed to do, now they can also absorb criticism and people telling them that the manner they have gone about it is wrong
Original post by neal95
No it isn't and Dosent achieve much. Things change I get that but if you divorce that's fair enough, however it's so awkward for both of these families and the last thing the op needs is their mums rubbing everything in their face. The parents shouldn't be commended or applauded for this decision is all in saying. They've done what they've felt they needed to do, now they can also absorb criticism and people telling them that the manner they have gone about it is wrong


Where is the commending and applauding?

How will you a child be criticisng and telling them they have done wrong if you have disowned them?

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