<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

We don't need "friends", we need good grades.

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Reply 40

999tigger

Original post by robertpiktos

I hate this myth that we need "friends" in life.
I say we don't.
My advice to everyone in here is focus 100% on your studies, don't talk or go out with anyone.
Study all week, including weekends and holidays.
Don't ever go out with anyone , sit home and study.
What is important in life is good grades not "friends".

Did you ever have any friends at school?
Did you ever have any friends at Uni?
Do you have any friends now?
Do you think social skills are important in a career?

Reply 41

Trinculo

Original post by robertpiktos

I am.
I am just sharing wih everyone what I think is the best way to succeed in life.
And I think it's this - not to focus on having "friends" but to focus only on studies and getting perfect grades.

Are you serious, or just trolling?

Reply 42

999tigger

Original post by Jizzy Jihad

No it's not, aside from 4Chan, I can't think of a place full of the most socially inept, pathetic, virginal freaks, don't get me wrong there are some great people on here, but there will not be this time when that cool guy who ****ed the girl you liked, had loads of friends and did well in high school gets his comeuppance and the studious nerd experiences his golden age, it reminds me of the Redpill movement where men who suck with women, who lost their virginities after everyone else circlejerk about how women will hit the wall and they'll be players when they're 30.

It's a revenge fantasy.

Gosh all your posts are very angwy.
You dont think having frineds or social skills is important?

Reply 43

Jizzy Jihad

Original post by 999tigger

Gosh all your posts are very angwy.
You dont think having frineds or social skills is important?

That's precisely what I am arguing, social skills are important and TSR posters generally fail to develop that aspect of their person due to their academic cargo cult mentality

I'm perfectly calm believe me.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 44

username738914

Original post by robertpiktos

Why?.

social skills

Reply 45

math42

[video="youtube;NIgfiSzCy1o"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIgfiSzCy1o[/video]

Reply 46

Anonymous #1

I totally agree. I did't have friends during the first year of Uni and was able to get a first in all my modules.

I would sometimes see groups of friends walk out of lectures just because one person found the lecture boring. Moreover, people used to boast to each other about how they completed their coursework all in one night (day before deadline) or how they have missed many lectures and tutorials. These 'friends' are the type that will drag you down. All they care about is going clubbing and having fun and not studying. These same 'friends' won't be there when you are struggling to find a graduate jobs because you came out with a 2:2; you probably won't even stay in contact with them.

If I found a group of like minded hard workers then I would be happy to talk to them before lectures and we can help each other with certain topics. However, as I am very selective with who I associate myself with I would rather have NO friends than BAD QUALITY ones.

Reply 47

BIGJohnson777

Original post by Anonymous

^^^^^
This

Friends are important, but if it is a choice between being alone or having to associate with the ones who drag you down, it is better to be alone.

Reply 48

username2791212

I wouldn't apply this to life in general, and I feel that my friendships are very important, but as far as uni is concerned I do tend to take this approach. I have made friends at uni, friends I really like and keep on my social media and chat with from time to time, but I have no intention of going out with them, attending social events or anything of the sort. Especially not during the academic year.

This could just be because I'm quite socially anxious, I don't like to drink or dance and parties or social gatherings make me generally uncomfortable, but I do make the effort to see my life-long friends (friends I have had since I was a child) every other week, or every few weeks, because I want to maintain these people in my life.

Friendship is great and I will often talk to my uni friends about work, the course and exchange ideas about our essays and chat whenever I see them in lectures. It's nice to have a group to work with and sit next to. However, I'm paying £9,000 a year to get my degree in the end and if I wanted to treat having a good time with friends as more important and ruin all my grades, I need not have bothered going to uni in the first place. I'm content with my life, it is full and busy with my spending a lot of time with family, my boyfriend and his family and the rest of my time going towards personal time and friend time. When the academic year starts, friends take a backseat and personal time becomes work time. That's just how I like to live my life right now in order to stay calm over all the work I have to do and it works for me.

However, that's not to say others should be the same. Some many people attend uni for the uni experience, the dating/sex/drinking/clubbing/nightlife or just wanting to find some life-long friends. That's totally fine, you're paying for it after all and if that's what you want out of the experience it'll be all worth it hopefully.

Reply 49

EastGuava

TFW you have neither.

Reply 50

username2269391

If that's what you want to do then go ahead but don't try and push it other people because humans are social by nature so most of us would rather have friends than good grades

Reply 51

Lissy14

Original post by robertpiktos

Do you not think friends are important to learn social skills and understand different peoples backgrounds?
Personally I think friends help you learn to empathise, compramise, listen and motivate - all skills needed when you actually get a job.
They also increase your competency with small talk, and confidence to speak in front of a group.

You can work your socks off all the time and end up incredibly smart, but will have no interpersonal skills or common sense :s

Reply 52

username1230881

Original post by robertpiktos

But you can easily get good grades and have friends - one of my friends got 3 A*s at A level, and another got 5 A*s. They literally couldn't have gained better grades... but they also had friends. The vast majority of people I know got into their first choice university while also having a social life.

If all you do is study, you'll lose motivation and end up with worse grades. Additionally, what use are good grades if you have a miserable life? When you're old and dying, would you rather be surrounded by people you care about - with happy memories of these people as well - or would you rather just have your diploma?

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 53

username2344505

Really, I don't think I'd have done half as well as I did in my A levels if I didn't have my friends with me. I dare say I actually learnt more from them than I did from my teachers lol

Reply 54

Siberiaan

Everyone needs friends , they make life so much better

Reply 55

Lissy14

Original post by Anonymous

But you agree that you can have friends and get a first right? :smile:

the two things can exhist at the same time.

Just because one person finds the lecture boring and others decide to walk out it doesn't mean you have to follow. If they really are your friend then no one will care that you are going to stay.

Some of my mates boast about how they did their assignment in one night, but it doesn't mean I have to be impressed, or do the same. If they are you friends they won't care if you spent a week doing the assignment.

I think proper friends accept each other's differences and don't let it effect them. They don't let each other's bad habits drag them down and they don't judge each other baised off those habits.They are just there for each other, and are people you can call if you want some time to unwind.

I don't think you need to have similar attitudes in order to get along. Just some common insterests and an open, none judgemental mind :smile:

Just cause you don't personally agree with the way they do something, doesn't mean you can't still be there for them and ask them for help on a topic you find difficult :smile:

Reply 56

robertpiktos

Original post by TSR Mustafa

Everyone needs friends , they make life so much better

Says you.
I don't need so called "friends".
I enjoy being on my own.
I don't need so called "friends" to annoy me and have bad influence on me.

Reply 57

999tigger

Original post by 999tigger

Did you ever have any friends at school?
Did you ever have any friends at Uni?
Do you have any friends now?
Do you think social skills are important in a career?

Come on OP dont be shy.

Reply 58

robertpiktos

Original post by robertpiktos

Says you.
I don't need so called "friends".
I enjoy being on my own.
I don't need so called "friends" to annoy me and have bad influence on me.

I have literally 0 friends, and to be honest it doesn't bother me.
Why should I be ashamef of being alone, because the myth says that we need friends?.