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I'm pregnant, what should I do?

Hello. I am an 18 years old female. I found out that I was pregnant today and I'm under a month in. During the time I was with my ex and on the day that we did decide not to use a condom (very stupidly), I took a morning after pill so I thought I was safe but in the past week or so I've been getting symptoms and a lack of period that made me go to the clinic today.

I've decided that I want an abortion because of how many cons there are to pros. I know my parents would not be supportive at all, I'm not financially stable, I literally JUST got my education and my career back on track (Finally found something that I'm passionate about and have a placement secured and the next 5 years planned incl uni) AND my ex does not even want a relationship with me let alone a baby so I would feel like I'm forcing him into a situation he doesn't want to be in and I wouldn't want that feeling for the next who knows years WITH a child. I also want to make sure my child grows up in a loving environment with lots of stability and happiness and I don't think I can provide that right now.

On the other hand I just have these strong maternal instincts that I just can't shake and my heart keeps telling me to keep it. How do I deal with this emotional side of things whilst getting an abortion?

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Have the abortion if you feel that's best for you. Don't let anyone on here or anywhere else guilt trip you into backing out of it
It sounds like you're struggling and rightfully so, you're in a hard place! Have you tried talking to any counsellors at school/uni or any hotlines? I know the maternal instinct is natural, so I;m sure they'd be able to help. Stay strong :-)
Original post by Anonymous
Hello. I am an 18 years old female. I found out that I was pregnant today and I'm under a month in. During the time I was with my ex and on the day that we did decide not to use a condom (very stupidly), I took a morning after pill so I thought I was safe but in the past week or so I've been getting symptoms and a lack of period that made me go to the clinic today.

I've decided that I want an abortion because of how many cons there are to pros. I know my parents would not be supportive at all, I'm not financially stable, I literally JUST got my education and my career back on track (Finally found something that I'm passionate about and have a placement secured and the next 5 years planned incl uni) AND my ex does not even want a relationship with me let alone a baby so I would feel like I'm forcing him into a situation he doesn't want to be in and I wouldn't want that feeling for the next who knows years WITH a child. I also want to make sure my child grows up in a loving environment with lots of stability and happiness and I don't think I can provide that right now.

On the other hand I just have these strong maternal instincts that I just can't shake and my heart keeps telling me to keep it. How do I deal with this emotional side of things whilst getting an abortion?


Just have the abortion otherwise it will be very difficult, and quickly at that. Facts over feelings.
You said it yourself- get the abortion. Sounds painfully blunt, but that's life I suppose.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous


On the other hand I just have these strong maternal instincts that I just can't shake and my heart keeps telling me to keep it. How do I deal with this emotional side of things whilst getting an abortion?


You can still have a baby later when you're ready.
Reply 6
I too was once in this situation a few years ago, at the same age you are now, and I chose to have an abortion. I knew from the start if I ever fell pregnant, I would have an abortion but it still didn't make it any less stressful.

First thing I would recommend is talk to someone you trust, say a close friend or family member. Keeping something as major as this to yourself only makes you feel worse. If you do decide to have the abortion then contact your local sexual health clinic or GP asap and they'll arrange the appointment for you. Since you aren't too far gone, you would most likely have the medical abortion like I did that involves taking tablets two days apart.

Deep down I think you'll know what is best for you, be it the abortion or not. Take some time to catch your breath and think things through but also don't wait too long either. I don't have any regrets about my abortion and neither do most people I know who have had one, despite them wanting kids at some point in their life. If you do choose the abortion and you are finding it difficult to come to terms with it, before and/or after the procedure then you should be offered some kind of counselling.

Best wishes with whatever you choose to do. I know how daunting a situation like this and you think it'll never happen to you but then it does happen and it knocks you for six. If you need any more info or want to talk, feel free to quote or mail me :smile:

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(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 7
Original post by Pinkberry_y
Have the abortion if you feel that's best for you. Don't let anyone on here or anywhere else guilt trip you into backing out of it


Original post by RDKGames
Just have the abortion otherwise it will be very difficult, and quickly at that. Facts over feelings.


Original post by homeland.lsw
You said it yourself- get the abortion. Sounds painfully blunt, but that's life I suppose.


Original post by Josb
You can still have a baby later when you're ready.


I know I'm getting the abortion but how am I going to deal with it emotionally? :sad: I feel like I'm giving up a potential life... its DNA has already been figured out and its sex has already been determined
Original post by Anonymous
I know I'm getting the abortion but how am I going to deal with it emotionally? :sad: I feel like I'm giving up a potential life... its DNA has already been figured out and its sex has already been determined


You win some, you lose some. It's not like you'll never be able to have children again.
Reply 9
Original post by Spock's Socks
I too was once in this situation a few years ago, at the same age you are now, and I chose to have an abortion. I knew from the start if I ever fell pregnant, I would have an abortion but it still didn't make it any less stressful.

First thing I would recommend is talk to someone you trust, say a close friend or family member. Keeping something as major as this to yourself only makes you feel worse. If you do decide to have the abortion them contact your local serieal health clinic or GP asap and they'll arrange the appointment for you. Since you aren't too far gone, you would most likely have the medical abortion like I did that involves taking tablets two days apart.

Deep down I think you'll know what is best for you, be it the abortion or not. Take some time to catch your breath and think things through but also don't wait too long either. I don't have any regrets about my abortion and neither do most people I know who have had one, despite them wanting kids at some point in their life. If you do choose the abortion and you are finding it difficult to come to terms with it, before and/or after the procedure then you should be offered some kind of counselling.

Best wishes with whatever you choose to do. I know how daunting a situation like this and you think it'll never happen to you but then it does happen and it knocks you for six. If you need any more info or want to talk, feel free to quote or mail me :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile


Thank you :hugs:

I know you say you don't regret it now but did you regret it then after the abortion? How did you feel when it was done? I'm also happy to hear that I will just have to take tablets so thanks.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you :hugs:

I know you say you don't regret it now but did you regret it then after the abortion? How did you feel when it was done? I'm also happy to hear that I will just have to take tablets so thanks.


You're welcome :hugs:

No I didn't regret, even right after it happened. I was angry at myself for getting into that situation even though I was on the pill but that was about it. Tbh, I felt nothing but relief after it was done.

Yip if you're up to nine weeks, you'll get the pill abortion. You go to the clinic one day for one tablet and then you go back two days later for four more tablets and then the actual abortion takes place.

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Original post by Spock's Socks
You're welcome :hugs:

No I didn't regret, even right after it happened. I was angry at myself for getting into that situation even though I was on the pill but that was about it. Tbh, I felt nothing but relief after it was done.

Yip if you're up to nine weeks, you'll get the pill abortion. You go to the clinic one day for one tablet and then you go back two days later for four more tablets and then the actual abortion takes place.

Posted from TSR Mobile


What did you feeling following a couple of weeks or even days after the abortion? What do you mean by "actual abortion"? Also did you tell the father? And did you tell anyone else or did anyone else go with you?

Sorry if these are too personal.
Original post by Anonymous
What did you feeling following a couple of weeks or even days after the abortion? What do you mean by "actual abortion"? Also did you tell the father? And did you tell anyone else or did anyone else go with you?

Sorry if these are too personal.


No worries, feel free to ask me anything. When I went through my abortion, I had no one to talk to for experience and whenever I asked anyone online for advice I got abuse so I try to help people when I can on this subject :smile:

Honestly, all I felt in the days and weeks after the abortion was relief. I was housebound from panic attacks at that point and couldn't even make it out to my bins so the stress of having to go to a hospital was overwhelming and I was just glad to have it over with. I personally don't want kids so I knew it was the right choice but it was still something I never thought I'd have to go through since I was always careful.

Yes, the father knew. I was in a long term relationship at the time with him and still am. He was fully supportive and agreed we were doing the right thing. He came along to the abortion with me as did a friend but neither of them were allowed into the clinic room with me. I had to sit with other girls waiting on their abortions instead. I think it depends on the clinic. Some clinics allow you to bring someone and you have a private room to yourself. Four years on and we are still happy with the choice we made and still going strong with the relationship. My family knew and most of them were supportive but his family weren't.

What happens with the pill abortion is - you go to the clinic one day, say a Tuesday and they give you a pill that kills the embryo but you don't pass it out until you go back to the clinic two later, say Thursday and then you get given four tablets to insert into your vagina and that will induce cramps and contractions over the next few hours will then expell the embryo and this is the abortion. You'll also be given antibiotics, an ultrasound, STI test and blood test. If you have a negative blood type like me, you'll be given a special jab. I forget the exact reason why but I think it's to do with antigens from the embryos blood mixing with yours and that can be bad if you have negative blood and the embryo has positive blood.

I went in for my abortion at 9am, started contracting at midday and was allowed home at 3ish.

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(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Spock's Socks
No worries, feel free to ask me anything. When I went through my abortion, I had no one to talk to for experience and whenever I asked anyone online for advice I got abuse so I try to help people when I can on this subject :smile:

Honestly, all I felt in the days and weeks after the abortion was relief. I was housebound from panic attacks at that point and couldn't even make it out to my bins so the stress of having to go to a hospital was overwhelming and I was just glad to have it over with. I personally don't want kids so I knew it was the right choice but it was still something I never thought I'd have to go through since I was always careful.

Yes, the father knew. I was in a long term relationship at the time with him and still am. He was fully supportive and agreed we were doing the right thing. He came along to the abortion with me as did a friend but neither of them were allowed into the clinic room with me. I had to sit with other girls waiting on their abortions instead. I think it depends on the clinic. Some clinics allow you to bring someone and you have a private room to yourself. Four years on and we are still happy with the choice we made and still going strong with the relationship. My family knew and most of them were supportive but his family weren't.

What happens with the pill abortion is - you go to the clinic one day, say a Tuesday and they give you a pill that kills the embryo but you don't pass it out until you go back to the clinic two later, say Thursday and then you get given four tablets to insert into your vagina and that will induce cramps and contractions over the next few hours will then expell the embryo and this is the abortion. You'll also be given antibiotics, an ultrasound, STI test and blood test. If you have a negative blood type like me, you'll be given a special jab. I forget the exact reason why but I think it's to do with antigens from the embryos blood mixing with yours and that can be bad if you have negative blood and the embryo has positive blood.

I went in for my abortion at 9am, started contracting at midday and was allowed home at 3ish.

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Thank you so much! That was really helpful information. Is the Ultrasound to make sure the baby isn't there any more? Can abortions fail?
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much! That was really helpful information. Is the Ultrasound to make sure the baby isn't there any more? Can abortions fail?


You're very welcome :smile:

You get an ultrasound when you first go into the clinic on the first day to see how far gone you are and then you get it again on the second day before you take the vaginal pills to make sure the embryo died with the first pill from the first appointment.

They don't usually have to do an ultrasound afterwards to see if you have passed the embryo as a nurse has to check everything that you pass. You will be given a bowl to pee in and every time you pass something, you have to show the nurse and they can tell if the embryo is out from that as they will see the embryonic sac from your passings.

There will be stories out there of abortions failing but it'll be very, very rare. You might be given a follow up appt for a week or two later to see how you are doing physically and mentally and to make sure the bleeding has stopped or lessened but I never got that. Again, I think it depends on the clinic and their terms.

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Original post by Spock's Socks
You're very welcome :smile:

You get an ultrasound when you first go into the clinic on the first day to see how far gone you are and then you get it again on the second day before you take the vaginal pills to make sure the embryo died with the first pill from the first appointment.

They don't usually have to do an ultrasound afterwards to see if you have passed the embryo as a nurse has to check everything that you pass. You will be given a bowl to pee in and every time you pass something, you have to show the nurse and they can tell if the embryo is out from that as they will see the embryonic sac from your passings.

There will be stories out there of abortions failing but it'll be very, very rare. You might be given a follow up appt for a week or two later to see how you are doing physically and mentally and to make sure the bleeding has stopped or lessened but I never got that. Again, I think it depends on the clinic and their terms.

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What?!! You have to carry a bowel around for 2 days with everything you pass out and pee in?? I rather have the second ultra soung tbh :erm:
Original post by Anonymous
What?!! You have to carry a bowel around for 2 days with everything you pass out and pee in?? I rather have the second ultra soung tbh :erm:

You only pass your womb lining and the embryo sac once you have taken the vaginal pills at the clinic at the second appt so you only have to walk about with a bowl at the clinic and you wont need it until the contractions start which is around 2/3 hours after taking the vaginal pills and as soon as the nurse spots the sac, you wont need it any more. I only needed it for ten mins. You don't need to walk around with a bowl for two days since the first pill wont make you bleed or anything so after that first appt at the clinic, you can go home, go to work or whatever but for the vaginal pills on the next appt, you'll be at the clinic for most of the day.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Spock's Socks
You only pass your womb lining and the embryo sac once you have taken the vaginal pills at the clinic so you only have to walk about with a bowl at the clinic and you wont need it until the contractions start which is around 2/3 hours after taking the vaginal pills and as soon as the nurse spots the sac, you wont need it any more. I only needed it for ten mins. You don't need to walk around with a bowl for two days since the first pill wont make you bleed or anything.


Okay :smile: Thanks again for all your posts, they've been super useful :hugs:
Original post by Josb
You can still have a baby later when you're ready.


Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
Reply 19
Original post by alexp98
Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.

Considering that she didn't want it and said that she doesn't have the ressource to raise it, chances are that this baby (and her) will have a *****y life.

"The next Queen". :rolleyes:

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