The Student Room Group

feeling kind of lonely

I know everyone may experience certain types of loneliness, even a child.I am a mature student from another country. The international students from my country tend to be much younger than me. It seems like we don't have same life experience and common interests and topic to share. Postgrats from other countries maybe are a bit older, but due to the language barrier and culture things, it's also hard to make some truely friends,and of course I am not that sort of people person and exetremely extrovert. Even though I am fairly familiar with loneliness, still feel bad sometimes and kind of ashamed of my age. If there is someone feel the same with me, do tell me how do you do to deal with such issue.
Reply 1
Original post by Yvonne Yan
I know everyone may experience certain types of loneliness, even a child.I am a mature student from another country. The international students from my country tend to be much younger than me. It seems like we don't have same life experience and common interests and topic to share. Postgrats from other countries maybe are a bit older, but due to the language barrier and culture things, it's also hard to make some truely friends,and of course I am not that sort of people person and exetremely extrovert. Even though I am fairly familiar with loneliness, still feel bad sometimes and kind of ashamed of my age. If there is someone feel the same with me, do tell me how do you do to deal with such issue.


I'm not a mature student but I'd say join the international student society or postgrad society and make a serious effort to speak to people, that being said I have found that I make friends when I least expect it. If I seriously couldn't make any friends and felt lonely I'd just get on with my studies , work hard and wait til I can go home lol - but to be honest it's highly unlikely that during the 3 or 4 or 5 years of your course you find 0 friends ...like that's impossible.

you shouldn't be ashamed of your age most younger students would look up to you and probably don't care anyway cos everyone's too worried about themselves
Reply 2
Original post by anaighj
I'm not a mature student but I'd say join the international student society or postgrad society and make a serious effort to speak to people, that being said I have found that I make friends when I least expect it. If I seriously couldn't make any friends and felt lonely I'd just get on with my studies , work hard and wait til I can go home lol - but to be honest it's highly unlikely that during the 3 or 4 or 5 years of your course you find 0 friends ...like that's impossible.

you shouldn't be ashamed of your age most younger students would look up to you and probably don't care anyway cos everyone's too worried about themselves


Wo, I have to say you are so considerate and more like a maturer than me. Thank you for your comment.
Sorry to read this. I'm just starting university this year and as a very mature student I too am a bit worried about feeling left out. I did look at the student union societies and was disappointed to see that they don't have a mature students society, but maybe your university does? If not, are there any other societies that you are interested in joining, they are a great way of meeting people
Reply 4
Original post by Yvonne Yan
I know everyone may experience certain types of loneliness, even a child.I am a mature student from another country. The international students from my country tend to be much younger than me. It seems like we don't have same life experience and common interests and topic to share. Postgrats from other countries maybe are a bit older, but due to the language barrier and culture things, it's also hard to make some truely friends,and of course I am not that sort of people person and exetremely extrovert. Even though I am fairly familiar with loneliness, still feel bad sometimes and kind of ashamed of my age. If there is someone feel the same with me, do tell me how do you do to deal with such issue.


You are human aren't you? No matter how it looks on the surface, your felllow classmates and you have much in common, you just need to dig a little to get to it. Don't feel ashamed of your age, no one else does! This is all in your head, you need to realise that age is a gift if anything, you're wiser and more worldly than any 18 year old could possibly hope to be! Make it a strength and not a weakness!
Reply 5
Original post by Sarah Green
Sorry to read this. I'm just starting university this year and as a very mature student I too am a bit worried about feeling left out. I did look at the student union societies and was disappointed to see that they don't have a mature students society, but maybe your university does? If not, are there any other societies that you are interested in joining, they are a great way of meeting people


thank you for replying, I 'll try my best to fit in.
Reply 6
Original post by JPO92
You are human aren't you? No matter how it looks on the surface, your felllow classmates and you have much in common, you just need to dig a little to get to it. Don't feel ashamed of your age, no one else does! This is all in your head, you need to realise that age is a gift if anything, you're wiser and more worldly than any 18 year old could possibly hope to be! Make it a strength and not a weakness!


Thank you, age can be a gift but being young is most valuable. Haha, I can do it to make myself acceptable.
only kind of?Well there is time to change that to not :yep:
I'm friends with someone in my year from HK and she's a little older so I guess she could relate if she was on here :tongue:
Just get chatting, that's how we became good friends!
:hugs:
Reply 8
Original post by CheeseIsVeg
only kind of?Well there is time to change that to not :yep:
I'm friends with someone in my year from HK and she's a little older so I guess she could relate if she was on here :tongue:
Just get chatting, that's how we became good friends!
:hugs:

haha, thank you.I am trying my best to make my speaking English better. Hope can chat with more people.
Original post by Yvonne Yan
haha, thank you.I am trying my best to make my speaking English better. Hope can chat with more people.


Up for a chat anytime I am :wink:
Reply 10
Hi, I've also joined university as a mature student and was very apprehensive about studying with people younger than me. I remember at school that you always looked up to people in the years above you as they without doubt had greater life experience. You and I are now the older students and have the life experience. There will be without doubt situations that have happened to you that you will be able draw from to use within your course but will also provide common ground to start new relationships with your fellow students. If there are no mature student social events through your student union, maybe suggest it to your student rep or if you have one, your course rep? There maybe others in your situation who are looking for something to get involved in? All the best.


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Reply 11
It's tough. My course feels fairly cliquey some days and when try to make initial contact there's the eye rolls to their friends.

Really frigging rude and I have to bite back a sarcastic response. I transferred into second year but I think you can tell the courses where people have followed their school friends through to undergrad level. I'm just gonna keep my head down. I have friends and a job I love. I'm doing this to get on my post grad plans.
Reply 12
Which Uni are you studying at? Maybe there is someone on this forum at your uni who might like to meet up for a coffee?


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Just gone back to uni as a middle aged mature student. First week I was so self concious and embarrassed. I felt like everyone was staring at me,
so out of place. But then people started talking to me, and they were so friendly and welcoming. Young people can be so smart and mature. I grew up in a huge, seriously huge family, (23 first cousins, over 100 second cousins, cousins once removed) age thing has never been an issue for me. I have friends twenty years older than me. I have friends twenty years younger than me. If there's a connection, there's a connection. Seems people smart enough to go onto higher education are a lot more mature and worldly-wise than the general population.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 14
I agree. I was worried that nobody would speak to me but soon made friends and felt included.


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The other day I talked about recording the Ketchup Song from the radio with a tape player. A 17 year old girl replied "Yeah my dad used to do stuff like that". I wanted to punch her square in the face right there.

I know the feeling.

I was also talking to a girl about when "head shops" opened everywhere selling their legal drugs. I felt like this was a very recent thing. Her response, despite being into that kind of stuff, was "Ehhh, I think so". I found it weird. I paused. "She's 19, I was 17 at the time, so this was in 2009. One, two, three.....man she was 12 at the time. FFS".

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