Lesbian muslim – my parents want me to marry my cousin....

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Reply 20

robertpiktos

Your a lesbian muslim and you are still alive?.
That's a miracle in and of itself.

Reply 21

Aishaluvsmuhamed

Original post by KyleH123

When you leave them you'll get your student finance loans.

Don't marry your family, that's disgusting and that's how children are born with deformities.

I don't want to take a loan :frown:

My parents earn a lot so i don't know if I'm allowed

I don't won't to marry him

Original post by EricPiphany

Don't marry a man...

I don't want to!!!!

Original post by UWS

This is just depressing to read.

Perhaps it's time to break free from that religion and live the life you want to. You'll get funded through student finance, but if your family are pressuring into marrying your cousin and to go against your sexuality, that's a no go.

I think maybe my parents earn too much to get that. and I don't want to leave my family I still love them

Original post by Anonymous

There's got to be someone at your uni you can talk to about this, just tell them as much as they need to know. I know for sure they will take this seriously and try to get your funding in safe waters.

I suppose you'll also have to emotionally distance yourself from them too, as in not depending on them and learning to take care of yourself as much as you can.

I don't want to talk about the uni with this. I haven't told anyone.

I take care of myself but I still live with them

Original post by TheUnknownDude

This surely is a troll.

Aishaluvsmuhamed? You should try a lot harder next time haha.

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I wish this was a joke :redface:

Original post by Little Popcorns

Deary me. But yeah if my parents wanted me to marry my cousin I would definitely turn lesbian

I was a lesbian already

Original post by Plantagenet Crown

It's illegal in the UK to force you to marry someone. If they stop paying your uni fees then apply to student finance for the loan.

They're not exactly forcing me. I think they'd kick me out if I took a loan bc it's haram

Reply 22

Aishaluvsmuhamed

Original post by sadixx

I don't see why you would still be a Muslim when you're a lesbian

I'm also a bit confused about that but islam is all i know

Original post by Rhaenys10

other than plain unattractive, what's your cousin like? would he be okay if he knew you were a lesbian?

he's like 10 years older than me!! He's very religious so he would be v. angry

Original post by 123moon

I guess they don't know you are a lesbian..?

They do

Reply 23

Plantagenet Crown

Original post by Aishaluvsmuhamed

I don't want to take a loan :frown:

My parents earn a lot so i don't know if I'm allowed

I don't won't to marry him

I don't want to!!!!

:frown:

I think maybe my parents earn too much to get that. and I don't want to leave my family I still love them

I don't want to talk about the uni with this. I haven't told anyone.

I take care of myself but I still live with them

I wish this was a joke :redface:

I was a lesbian already

They're not exactly forcing me. I think they'd kick me out if I took a loan bc it's haram

The loan to pay uni fees isn't dependent on your parents' income. Absolutely anyone can apply for it and most people who go to uni do.

Well then you're basically saying that you're going to be kicked out either way.

Reply 24

TheUnknownDude

What will happen if your parents find out?

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Reply 25

Maker

Original post by 2Berry

So explain how people whose parents aren't related end up with deformities? You do know queen Elizabeth is married to her cousin..Prince Philip? How come her offspring aren't 'deformed'?

Prince Philip is not that closely related to the Queen.

Loads of Asians get married to their close relatives for generations so any genetic abnormalities are conserved and magnified and places like Bradford have people with far more genetic problems than other places.

Reply 26

ksj.11

Original post by Maker

Not asians, just muslims/pakistanis.. ive never heard of a chinese or an indian doing that

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Reply 27

BigMan Ting

Original post by Aishaluvsmuhamed

I don't want to take a loan :frown:

My parents earn a lot so i don't know if I'm allowed

I don't won't to marry him

I don't want to!!!!

:frown:

I was a lesbian already

They're not exactly forcing me. I think they'd kick me out if I took a loan bc it's haram

So are you resisting the temptation of being a lesbian? sucks to be in your position man - but generally you have two choices: cut out your family and start your own independent life or marry your cousin. As you describe him, he can't be lazy if he's successful, but if he isn't interested in getting married then perhaps talk to him about keeping the relationship purely platonic?

Reply 28

Rhaenys10

Original post by Aishaluvsmuhamed

I'm also a bit confused about that but islam is all i know

he's like 10 years older than me!! He's very religious so he would be v. angry

They do

and are you religious? do you truly believe in the muslim faith? I was ready to give you a solution (a temporary one at least), but it would've been a very haraam one and i don't wanna insult you

Reply 29

Aishaluvsmuhamed

Original post by Plantagenet Crown

But it's easy for you to say leave your family but I love my family despite this and if I leave them then I'll be all alone
Maybe I can find someone to marry who knows i'm gay but will play along, i Think they'd back off

Original post by TheUnknownDude

What will happen if your parents find out?

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They already know i'm gay

Reply 30

sadixx

you shouldn't let your family control you, if I was you I would leave them. imo it is disgusting

Reply 31

Frank Peters

my god, u could sue your parents on misconduct.. u can go tell child services and they will break ur family up, so that ur sister can be broken away from them because she deserves it for what she did, she is just despicable. I say if u cant be with ur family, then no other of ur family members should be together

There are help lines for these sort of things

Reply 32

Aishaluvsmuhamed

Original post by BigMan Ting

Yes kind of. I would just not have a relationship. I'm ok wit that.
No he's not lazy at all. He's a gp. I wouldn't trust him and tell him that, we're not close.

Original post by Rhaenys10

and are you religious? do you truly believe in the muslim faith? I was ready to give you a solution (a temporary one at least), but it would've been a very haraam one and i don't wanna insult you

Kind of, yes. Not extremely religious (I still listen to music and don't always wear hijab) but i'm still muslim.

Reply 33

123moon

Original post by Aishaluvsmuhamed

They do

Well you are kinda one step there already. If they know then they shouldn't be so hard on you obviously i know it's not going to be easy but look when you came out to them the reaction must not of been that bad because you are still here, right? Before opening up to them about your sexuality you must of felt similar to this but you got through it, didn't you? Everything happens for a reason and only God knows what is going to happen to you but don't worry everything will just fall into place, naturally.

I wish you all the best… just :smile:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 34

Josb

Original post by Rhaenys10

i mean if we would've been born a couple centuries ago, it would've all been all right. there are ppl who barely know their cousins, so it'd be like meeting a stranger

No. The Church had very strict policies regarding cousin marriage, with exemptions for royals and aristocrats (for which they had to pay).

Reply 35

Plantagenet Crown

Original post by Aishaluvsmuhamed

It's very unlikely you'll find someone willing to sacrifice their own chance at finding genuine love and live a lie their entire life. And it's likely that if you do that you'll end up miserable so I don't think this is the best option but it's up to you of course.

Reply 36

Aishaluvsmuhamed

Original post by 123moon

I didn't open up my sister took my phone and showed them stuff so they figured out i was lesbian and that's the reason they want me to be married off.

Reply 37

Josb

Original post by ksj.11

Not asians, just muslims/pakistanis.. ive never heard of a chinese or an indian doing that

Posted from TSR Mobile

Consanguineous marriages (second-degree cousins or closer) in the world, in percentage (%):

It seems linked to a certain religion...

Reply 38

Josb

Original post by Aishaluvsmuhamed

I didn't open up my sister took my phone and showed them stuff so they figured out i was lesbian and that's the reason they want me to be married off.

Your parents are disgusting and you should run away.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 39

Bloody Stupid

There must be a support team in your uni that can help? I remember my college provided safeguarding options for those undergoing FGM, gay/transgender, forced marriage... etc. If you tell them they'll give you options and will help you take action.