Is it unfair to judge a Woman on her past?

You can take a girl away from x, but you cant take the x away from the girl. A girl's mindset doesn't change.

You can take a girl away from x, but you cant take the x away from the girl. A girl's mindset doesn't change.

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Let us be frank, everyone judges everyone whether or not we like it. However, to judge in most of these instances simply renders you a hypocrit...

I don't know if she was being peer pressured. Apparently she got bullied a lot at school so hung out with the weird kids.



How? I don't do drugs or get fwbs lmao

Who are you to lecture someone for having a **** buddy sunshine? I'll be damned if you havne't done things she finds questionable in the bedroom department.
As for drugs... 1] Many people do/try drugs in their youth... always have and always will.
2] Do you really intend to get into the ins and outs of drugs and their legal/moral standing, we all know that there isn't an answer to this.

Not to mention i was talking in the broadest possible terms not solely relating to you.

I don't think it's about misogyny or judging a woman's actions.

Because if this woman was a man and did all those things I would not date him. A former boarding school kid, rich daddy doesn't love me enough druggie with a law degree. I would run for the hills...

Wild and experimental. Sounds like my type of girl.

At the end of the day you need to base the decision off your own personal values and whether or not you feel sexually compatible with her. We can't really be the judge of that.

What do YOU think?

Some people will brand her "slutty" or whatever other misogynistic name you can come up with and others will think "she's perfect!". The thing is...judging her solely on her sexual activity isn't sufficient. If you want to date her, and bear in mind you say you won't "smash a girl with no morals", then it's only your opinion of her that matters. She might think that her behaviour is no issue, and so she shouldn't if it isn't for her, but it's no good you dating each other if your values and morals don't match up. That doesn't make either of you wrong, it just means you aren't compatible.

If you like her and can comfortably process her past without finding any current problems with it, whether that's with trust, how much you value her etc, then don't let it stop you. If you judge her and find it difficult to look at her as a decent person just because of how she has behaved prior then I would think about how that would effect a relationship between you two.

There isn't anything wrong with using someone's previous behaviour to judge whether or not you should date them and it doesn't mean you are condemning them either. You have the right to choose who you do and don't date for whatever reason - even if it is for reasons that others deem judgemental or shallow. At least then you will both be with someone who is compatible.

Great post m8 thanks. also reps on r/c for grim fandango

best post ive seen on tsr all day (srs) (ty man)

I'm in my early 20s, not perfect but I met a woman who's 30 recently and we really hit it off.

However shes has a LOT of bad things in her past. I'm not misogynist and I have obviously slept with girlfriends but she did a load of crazy stuff when she was my age or younger. Her parents were rich but really liberal so she did stuff like **** a guy in the middle of a crowd at a gig when she was 16, or drugs at boarding school though she was never an addict. And she was a FWB with her flatmate at uni which apparently got awkward. She also got a tattoo at 14 as a dare though I know her dad and he is classy. Obviously she's older now but still a bit of "party girl" though she has a good job as do I.

I have told her all the things from my past too, but I find it hard to think about hers. She is really hot, and has a good career and law degree so I'm surprised she isn't taken is that a red flag? Also I'm not really worried about this but she has a lot of male friends around her age she flirts with too.

Where exactly did you meet this person

through her dad, hes a top bloke, classical musician but liberal kinda parent lol

You are welcome! and thanks for the compliment on my post! I do my best to help where I can.

And I always feel really happy when I meet another Grim Fandango fan! Good taste :P

It's not unfair. People rarely change. One of my exes had done crazy stuff, it didn't end up well. It was more sexual things though, tattoo and drugs, if she doesn't have a lot of them and doesn't do it anymore I wouldn't care tbh.

would you wife up a girl like that tho? lol

I admire em too.. just not as gf material..

@queen-bee Have you done stuff like that?