My son doesn't want me to go to see Uni with him.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 20

ThenextPresident

Original post by Mathemagicien

Joined in 2013; why would you presume she was 21 in 2016?

I didn't look at the join date.

Reply 21

alcibiade

Get used to it. He's feeling his oats and wants his independence. It is really hard for us parents, but this is just a taste of what it's going to be like later.

Reply 22

999tigger

Original post by markova21

I get that. But don't most parents attend Uni Open Days with their children to look around as well? It's not an Open Day but I would still like to at least see where he might be going to study and live next year.

It depends on your relationship with your child, Plenty of parents do go with their kids to open days as they get a free lift and have someone to pay for the food. Obviously it might be a fleeing the nest sort of thing, but a parent can also give an objective second opinion and notice things about a place that a teenager might not.

Why not have a compromise and just say youd like to go to half of them? Presumably hes going to want to use the bank of mum and dad later so he should recognise which side his bread is buttered on. You shouldnlt force or guilt him , but he wont lose much by just one day. the other point would be if he chose whatever university then soemtimes parents go and have a look around on the day they drop their child off.

As for open days, then if you missed the formal one, its soemtimes possible if you contact the depaerment to arrange an informal one whereby someone might show you round. You need to find a happy compromise with your child.

Reply 23

IronicalMan

Maybe you're fairly good looking and he didn't want people perving over you :colondollar:

Reply 24

markova21

Original post by ThenextPresident

Ahh I see.
So it's equivalent to being a general in the army or black belt in karate.

Yes, and takes as many years in training. [Well the karate anyway. If you think both take around twelve years from the age of about six or seven]. But that will only get you a place in the chorus [Corps De Ballet]. Then you have to work your way up the company. Around 5 or 6 years in the Corps then a Soloist, then a Principal. Many dancers never make it beyond the Corps De Ballet though. It's really physically tough.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 25

markova21

Original post by IronicalMan

Maybe you're fairly good looking and he didn't want people perving over you :colondollar:

Ha ! I'm overweight and going grey. I doubt it !

Reply 26

ThenextPresident

Original post by markova21

I see.
And what is your connection exactly to the world of ballet?.
Are you a dancer yourself, or simply intrested in it?.

Reply 27

markova21

Original post by ThenextPresident

I see.
And what is your connection exactly to the world of ballet?.
Are you a dancer yourself, or simply intrested in it?.

I trained in Classical Ballet for eight and a half years. First at a local dancing school in Manchester for three years, then at the Northern Ballet School in Manchester for a further three years, then as a full time student at a Ballet School in Covent Garden for two years. I wasn't dedicated enough for a life in a ballet company. It's just so much physical pain every day. So I left and started auditioning for dance shows. But most were fast paced jazz, and I was too classical. I didn't have a clue. Then I auditioned for the Moulin Rouge in Paris and got in. Danced there for a year and then went off to Japan and danced in shows there, where I ended up working for three years.

Reply 28

IronicalMan

Original post by markova21

Maybe he don't want the girls seeing you with him then lmao, is he a mummys boy/always does as he's told. That could also be why.

Reply 29

markova21

Original post by IronicalMan

Maybe he don't want the girls seeing you with him then lmao, is he a mummys boy/always does as he's told. That could also be why.

No he's not a mummy's boy at all. I wish he would listen to me more and "do as he was told". If only . He rarely has done.

Reply 30

ThenextPresident

Original post by markova21

Nice.
So you are from this world.

Intresting you were in Japan?.
When was it , in the 80's?.

And where?.
In Tokyo?.

Reply 31

markova21

Original post by ThenextPresident

Nice.
So you are from this world.

Intresting you were in Japan?.
When was it , in the 80's?.

And where?.
In Tokyo?.

Early 90's. I worked in three different areas. Ito , in Shizuoka Prefecture, Minakami, in Gunma Prefecture and Kinosaki . I can't remember the name of the Prefecture where it was, but it was a hotel in the middle of nowhere and I hated it there. No-one spoke any English and my Japanese was virtually none existent. When I say hotel I mean the hotels had their own small theatres where they put on European type shows for the guests.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 32

markova21

Original post by ThenextPresident

Ahh I see, so it was in rural Japan , not in the big city.

And if no one spoke English and you didn't speak Japanese , how did you communicate with them?.

And now you live in Northern Ireland?.

Well in the first two places quite a few people spoke English. It was just the last place I was in . It was very isolating and I didn't enjoy it at all. And yes, I fell for the charms of an Irishman from Mayo but who was based near where I now live. But i'm Irish descent myself.

Reply 33

Yua

you made a facebook post about it huh. so you're that sort of parent.

Reply 34

Orange s0da

yaaaaay you guilt tripped your son in to doing what you want. At the end of the day if he can be convinced by a friend to not go, he won't have the wherewithal to complete a course at university.

Reply 35

Paniniception

Original post by Duncan2012

Do you trust him to make his own decisions? Uni is traditionally the time when children 'fly the nest', so while you may want to go see the place with him it's perfectly understandable that he wants to see it without you. My parents didn't come with me to see any unis, that was my choice.

True but as parents they have the right to go and the son is not in uni yet soo

Reply 36

Doones

Original post by ThenextPresident

Ahh I see, so it was in rural Japan , not in the big city.

And if no one spoke English and you didn't speak Japanese , how did you communicate with them?.

And now you live in Northern Ireland?.

You ask a lot of questions that have no connection to the original post...

Reply 37

Duncan2012

Original post by Paniniception

True but as parents they have the right to go and the son is not in uni yet soo

Don't be silly. The son is 19. Parents don't have a 'right' to do anything. The son is an adult - he doesn't need a parent tagging along if he doesn't want them to.

Reply 38

markova21

Original post by 1secondsofvamps

Making a Facebook post about it is a bit too much tbh. My aunt didn't go to see any of her son's uni open days and everything was fine, my cousins are now happily in their 2nd and 3rd years. You just got to trust your son. When my friend and I went to a uni open day our family didn't go with us, I didn't think it was a big deal because my mum trusts me and knows I make sensible decisions

We/he won't be going to an Open Day. We are just going to travel to the area where the Uni is for the day to get a look around and maybe travel on to Stranmillis to see what that looks like too, from the outside. It's a day out with my son to see if it appeals to him possibly for next September. There are going to be no more Open Days so neither he nor I will get a chance to go to one, so we are going to look around independently and get a feel for the area, which is called Newtownabbey and about 7 miles outside Belfast.

Reply 39

markova21

Original post by Duncan2012

Don't be silly. The son is 19. Parents don't have a 'right' to do anything. The son is an adult - he doesn't need a parent tagging along if he doesn't want them to.

TBH I just thought it would be nice of the two of us just to have a day out together and have a look around from the outside and see what the surrounding area looks like.