When is it too late for the no contact rule?

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We're going out Saturday night and on the off chance that I pull maybe I can save it, tips? But really I'm not considering that to be likely and instead am starting no contact the next day.

Why do you want her back?

No tips, I just acted natural. Also she was horny as **** and at her own admission just wanted a damn' good seeing to.

Reply 21

username917703

Original post by Lockra

For me it has two purposes, both to get her over and hopefully get her back. Interesting that it worked for you, how long after the breakup did you start no contact?

4 months.

If you're doing it to get them back you're doing it for the wrong reason imo.

Reply 22

Lockra

Original post by Wilfred Little

4 months.

If you're doing it to get them back you're doing it for the wrong reason imo.

How long did you go no contact?

Reply 23

username917703

Original post by Lockra

How long did you go no contact?

About 4 months.

Reply 24

Lockra

Original post by Wilfred Little

About 4 months.

So 4 months after breaking up you went 4 months no contact?

Reply 25

username917703

Original post by Lockra

So 4 months after breaking up you went 4 months no contact?

Yes

Reply 26

999tigger

Original post by Lockra

You know the no contact rule? "Don't talk to you ex for at least 30 days if you want a chance of getting them back", is this too late to be effective if it's been almost two months since breakup? Bearing in mind there's no bad blood, she still messages me first but is very platonic and the initial strong post-break up feelings are dying down.

No such rule. Care to tell us where this came from?

Remind yourself why you broke up and if you want to get back together then see if she is willing to talk.

Reply 27

999tigger

Original post by Lockra

Yes, she dumped me. And no, a gesture is not what I need right now, that's the final stage of the process, not something you do after being dumped because that's just weird. I need a no contact phase.

Your idea that its some sort of technical process is hilarious.

Reply 28

Bulletzone

Posted from TSR Mobile

Never too late. It's only late once she's moved on.

Reply 29

999tigger

Can someone explain the no contact rules and what its meant to achieve. Its treat them mean to keep them keen? IP is so definite about the correct way the rule operates am feeling there must be a manual somewhere. I wonder if the ex has read it?

Reply 30

Lockra

Original post by 999tigger

It's not about getting her back really, first and foremost time away lets you move on. But yes, it is supposed to help. If it goes really well it'd make them miss you but mostly it's just about wiping the slate clean.

Reply 31

Lockra

Original post by Bulletzone

Posted from TSR Mobile

Never too late. It's only late once she's moved on.

As of three weeks ago they definitely hadn't, so she won't have a new boyfriend yet. Seems highly highly unlikely. I suppose it's possible she's dating but I am too and it's just not the same. She's only had one boyfriend before me.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 32

PsychoD

Original post by Lockra

That's an interesting idea, my current planned message is a bit on the negative side, maybe I should lighten it up...

If you're going no contact the last things you say to one another sets a tone you'll be remembered by. If you're negative when you pop into her mind that's what she'll think of. Better yourself and be happy since no-one wants to be with a negative person. Maybe switch perspectives and see how you would react to her being like that to you.

Reply 33

Lockra

Original post by PsychoD

I've wrote some stuff about "how we had a great time last night" (we're going out the night to a party before I plan on sending the message), how I clearly want a relationship and she doesn't right now so it's not healthy for us to keep talking and how I hope she does great without me. At no point is it critical of her although bits of it are obviously quite sad.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 34

username1726117

Original post by Lockra

The "No Contact" rule isn't meant to get your ex back; it's meant to allow you to heal and move on from the relationship. Using it to get an ex back completely negates the purpose of going No Contact entirely.

If an ex wants to come back, they will regardless of your actions. It's up to them to make the decision to be with you again, and no amount of begging, lack of communication etc can alter their desires (if anything, doing anything as a means to get them back is just manipulative and hurts your chances).

So in answer, it's never too late to start no contact albeit it should be done as early as possible.

Reply 35

Lockra

Although I take your point, if we get back it will be her who will have to initiate it, how I act makes all the difference. I'm looking at no contact less as something that'll get her back and more as the only thing that might.

Reply 36

username47781

I wouldn't wait for something that may never happen.

Reply 37

Lockra

Original post by Rock Fan

I wouldn't wait for something that may never happen.

Care to ellaborate?

Reply 38

username47781

Original post by Lockra

Care to ellaborate?

What I mean is don't expect her to get back into contact after some time of no contact or expect she will come running back to you, you have to move on with life, some things are just not meant to be. Talking from personal experience.