The Student Room Group

Is it unfair to judge a Woman on her past?

Scroll to see replies

Original post by ~Tara~
Why not? Should be asking before having sex with all partners. I tend to say if you're not mature enough to have this conversation then are you mature enough to have sex?

It doesn't have to be scary or offensive. Just, we should have std check before we have sex and I do it with all partners. Wouldn't you rather both know that you're clean and healthy than unwittingly pass to each other diseases which could make you infertile or even kill you if left untreated


It's not about maturity, women get insulted lol
How long have her past relationships been for?
Original post by Foo.mp3
She is a walking red flag. Smash and dash or just skip straight to the taxi for one, my friend:chaplin:


You dont think people can change then? (bearing in mind shes 30 now)

AlexLawrence1453

How long have her past relationships been for?


6 months to a year post uni, but Im not sure why. Maybe other guys think her past is a "red flag" too. Cos she says she wants marriage and babies.
Original post by Anonymous
6 months to a year post uni, but Im not sure why. Maybe other guys think her past is a "red flag" too. Cos she says she wants marriage and babies.


Short lived relationships are a very bad sign. You most certainly can judge someone by their past, as their past is what created them. My ex girlfriend, for example, told me about a week into the relationship that she wants marriage, then started getting really antsy about kids with me. Needless to say, her relationships only lasted <6 months for her whole life. If they have a history of short relationships, there's usually a reason why. Making herself seem very open to commitment and children is, in my experience, a manipulation tactic.
Original post by AlexLawrence1453
Short lived relationships are a very bad sign. You most certainly can judge someone by their past, as their past is what created them. My ex girlfriend, for example, told me about a week into the relationship that she wants marriage, then started getting really antsy about kids with me. Needless to say, her relationships only lasted <6 months for her whole life. If they have a history of short relationships, there's usually a reason why. Making herself seem very open to commitment and children is, in my experience, a manipulation tactic.


True. I'm not sure if she got dumped most of the time but the fact she often found a "rebound" after (at uni) seems emotionally immature to get back at him. She is spontaneous ive noticed, a bit childish (no sexism, I know guys like that too).

I dont think shes doing it to manipulate me, she does squee over babies and stuff.
Original post by Anonymous
True. I'm not sure if she got dumped most of the time but the fact she often found a "rebound" after (at uni) seems emotionally immature to get back at him. She is spontaneous ive noticed, a bit childish (no sexism, I know guys like that too).

I dont think shes doing it to manipulate me, she does squee over babies and stuff.


Most manipulative behaviour isn't done consciously.

If she's childish emotionally, then definitely do not pursue a relationship. Trust me. You don't want a relationship with an emotional 12 year old.

Quick question: are her parents invalidating or emotionally distant? Any father issues?
Original post by AlexLawrence1453
Most manipulative behaviour isn't done consciously.

If she's childish emotionally, then definitely do not pursue a relationship. Trust me. You don't want a relationship with an emotional 12 year old.

Quick question: are her parents invalidating or emotionally distant? Any father issues?


I wouldnt say shes like a 12 yr old, one of those baby voiced girls.. She can actually be really helpful and adult but then she complains about trivial things like I mentioned in OP.

Idk her mum but I think she's the quiet housewife type from FB, I know her dad and he is a classy dude but one of those critical perfectionist types. He's a musician so I guess he has to. In family pics they're never hugging like my family is. She said her family's eccentric
Original post by Anonymous
I wouldnt say shes like a 12 yr old, one of those baby voiced girls.. She can actually be really helpful and adult but then she complains about trivial things like I mentioned in OP.

Idk her mum but I think she's the quiet housewife type from FB, I know her dad and he is a classy dude but one of those critical perfectionist types. He's a musician so I guess he has to. In family pics they're never hugging like my family is. She said her family's eccentric


Being emotionally 12 means poor emotional intelligence. You can appear adult and helpful while still being maladapted and poorly adjusted.
Original post by AlexLawrence1453
Being emotionally 12 means poor emotional intelligence. You can appear adult and helpful while still being maladapted and poorly adjusted.


Good point.. what was your ex like?
Original post by Anonymous
Good point.. what was your ex like?


Not fun

Spoiler

Spoiler

(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by AlexLawrence1453
Not fun

Spoiler



Wow.

Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous
Wow.

Spoiler


Spoiler

Original post by AlexLawrence1453

Spoiler



Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous

Spoiler


Spoiler

Original post by AlexLawrence1453

Spoiler



Spoiler

Reply 115
Avatar for Dkaurp
Dkaurp
1
People change so no I don't think it's fair to judge a person by their past, unless they're a murderer or something. Seems to me though like she's proud of her past and has told you this stuff pretty early on? So perhaps she hasn't really changed that much...


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Dkaurp
People change so no I don't think it's fair to judge a person by their past, unless they're a murderer or something. Seems to me though like she's proud of her past and has told you this stuff pretty early on? So perhaps she hasn't really changed that much...


Posted from TSR Mobile


Her friends are liberal arty folks, so maybe she thought it wasnt a big deal to most people. She has the same type of friends lol :s-smilie:
Original post by Anonymous
It's not about maturity, women get insulted lol

If someone would get insulted by that then would you really want to be with them? You could suggest getting tested together.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Ella-keturah
If someone would get insulted by that then would you really want to he with them? You could suggest getting tested together.


Good point thanks :smile: Yea, she's mature sometimes (like when she goes to rights protests) but then really oversensitive lol
gender is irrelevant
(edited 7 years ago)

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you