Does anyone actually know any really straight acting gay/bisexual males?

Original post by Shadow2009

Trying to find a "straight acting" guy on dating apps is useless. I have nothing against feminine guys at all, I'm actually friends with alot of them. The only issue is that I'm just not attracted in that way to them. I'm more attracted to masculine guys who like sports, drinking beer and who never in a million years would you question their sexuality.

I've used Grindr and Tinder and other sites for years and it seems that every single profile picture has a guy doing a duckface or doing a feminine pose, or wearing make-up or wearing feminine clothes or even if their picture looks fairly neutral, they always have something in their "About Me" section that just kills it for me. For example when they call themselves a "bad *****" or they have song lyrics from Lady GaGa or use 100 emoji's and kisses or something. There's been a few times where I've had some conversations with guys and then it slowly unravels that we have nothing as common as they reveal themselves to be nurses/hairdressers and have different music tastes, different TV show/movie tastes and completely different personalities.

It's very frustrating and disheartening after a while. Obviously there ARE straight acting guys out there but most of them are really discreet and only want sex as they have a girlfriend and don't want anyone to know about them.

Hi there Shadow2009 :smile:

I think that a lot of gay men share your experience and I definitely have. As someone who's not obviously effeminate, though that's sometimes not always the case if I'm a few beers in and in a gay venue, it is sometimes hard to find someone who's not looking for just sex.

I think that this is generally a problem across the gay community. We must be clear that apps like Grindr are primarily for men seeking men for sex. Tinder is a more promising app, Hornet is also one. Other than that it's just meeting people via friends.

It seems to be a trend in our age group - I assume that you're 18-25 - that gay and/or bisexual men are promiscuous, but I'm assured that people get past that phase by my older gay friends!

Reply 2

Original post by Shadow2009

Trying to find a "straight acting" guy on dating apps is useless. I have nothing against feminine guys at all, I'm actually friends with alot of them. The only issue is that I'm just not attracted in that way to them. I'm more attracted to masculine guys who like sports, drinking beer and who never in a million years would you question their sexuality.

I've used Grindr and Tinder and other sites for years and it seems that every single profile picture has a guy doing a duckface or doing a feminine pose, or wearing make-up or wearing feminine clothes or even if their picture looks fairly neutral, they always have something in their "About Me" section that just kills it for me. For example when they call themselves a "bad *****" or they have song lyrics from Lady GaGa or use 100 emoji's and kisses or something. There's been a few times where I've had some conversations with guys and then it slowly unravels that we have nothing as common as they reveal themselves to be nurses/hairdressers and have different music tastes, different TV show/movie tastes and completely different personalities.

It's very frustrating and disheartening after a while. Obviously there ARE straight acting guys out there but most of them are really discreet and only want sex as they have a girlfriend and don't want anyone to know about them.

Your problem is in bold. I think you need to find one of those types of guys in real life...

Reply 3

Shadow2009

OP

7

Original post by AshEntropy

Your problem is in bold. I think you need to find one of those types of guys in real life...

But how? It's not going to be clear if someone is straight or if they're just "straight acting", and I doubt other straight acting guys would go to gay bars and attend LGBT clubs.

Reply 4

Original post by Shadow2009

But how? It's not going to be clear if someone is straight or if they're just "straight acting", and I doubt other straight acting guys would go to gay bars and attend LGBT clubs.

You need to talk to guys in real life and become friendly with them without assuming that they're going to be your boyfriend one day, you'll eventually find someone that is to your taste but it takes time and patience. Desperately trying to find your match through a dating website won't work.

Reply 5

Original post by Shadow2009

But how? It's not going to be clear if someone is straight or if they're just "straight acting", and I doubt other straight acting guys would go to gay bars and attend LGBT clubs.

Original post by AshEntropy

You need to talk to guys in real life and become friendly with them without assuming that they're going to be your boyfriend one day, you'll eventually find someone that is to your taste but it takes time and patience. Desperately trying to find your match through a dating website won't work.

I think that I can back AshEntropy up here...

Start talking to people and meeting people without looking for a boyfriend or wanting to get into bed - that seems like a good place to start. :smile:

Reply 6

Original post by Roving Fish

I think that I can back AshEntropy up here...

Start talking to people and meeting people without looking for a boyfriend or wanting to get into bed - that seems like a good place to start. :smile:

^ Yeah this exactly :smile:

Reply 7

My mistake is that I start talking to people for a while, end up going round to chill. Then it concludes by me or him going home that night and never texting again... :lol:

Reply 8

Original post by Roving Fish

My mistake is that I start talking to people for a while, end up going round to chill. Then it concludes by me or him going home that night and never texting again... :lol:

Mhm? Why?

Reply 9

Original post by AshEntropy

Mhm? Why?

Aubergine.

Reply 10

Original post by Shadow2009

Trying to find a "straight acting" guy on dating apps is useless. I have nothing against feminine guys at all, I'm actually friends with alot of them. The only issue is that I'm just not attracted in that way to them. I'm more attracted to masculine guys who like sports, drinking beer and who never in a million years would you question their sexuality.

I've used Grindr and Tinder and other sites for years and it seems that every single profile picture has a guy doing a duckface or doing a feminine pose, or wearing make-up or wearing feminine clothes or even if their picture looks fairly neutral, they always have something in their "About Me" section that just kills it for me. For example when they call themselves a "bad *****" or they have song lyrics from Lady GaGa or use 100 emoji's and kisses or something. There's been a few times where I've had some conversations with guys and then it slowly unravels that we have nothing as common as they reveal themselves to be nurses/hairdressers and have different music tastes, different TV show/movie tastes and completely different personalities.

It's very frustrating and disheartening after a while. Obviously there ARE straight acting guys out there but most of them are really discreet and only want sex as they have a girlfriend and don't want anyone to know about them.

Straight acting... hmmm
that would be me, of course!

Attachment not found

Reply 11

username2763536

15

Original post by Roving Fish

I think that I can back AshEntropy up here...

Start talking to people and meeting people without looking for a boyfriend or wanting to get into bed - that seems like a good place to start. :smile:

The problem with this is that most people are straight.And if you try to hit on them most straight guys dont take too kindly to that. Of course you can just ask them if they have a girlfriend but I imagine it would take too much time.Thats why apps like grindr are popular because you dont have to spend ages trying to work out whether someone is gay or not.You just know.

Reply 12

Original post by Robby2312

The problem with this is that most people are straight.And if you try to hit on them most straight guys dont take too kindly to that. Of course you can just ask them if they have a girlfriend but I imagine it would take too much time.Thats why apps like grindr are popular because you dont have to spend ages trying to work out whether someone is gay or not.You just know.

What I do is ask people at parties if people are gay or not. But I hear you.

Grindr is popular because you can get laid within 30 mins if you drop all your standards. That's why it exists.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

I'm straight but I relapsed into sleeping with dudes. Here's the deal. Option 1 is tinder. I'll use my hundred swipes, match with maybe 5-10 of those girls. Half won't respond, most the conversation will die or she flakes, eventually I'll get a date with some 6/10 when I'm an 8/10 IRL. She'll want to grab food or coffee first, maybe I'll get her back to mine, maybe I'll have to wait for a second or third date. So tons of effort for a mediocre lay.

Option 2- download Grindr. I can have a twink at my doorstep within an hour. It's not gay, it's convenient.

Reply 14

Original post by Anonymous

I'm straight but I relapsed into sleeping with dudes. Here's the deal. Option 1 is tinder. I'll use my hundred swipes, match with maybe 5-10 of those girls. Half won't respond, most the conversation will die or she flakes, eventually I'll get a date with some 6/10 when I'm an 8/10 IRL. She'll want to grab food or coffee first, maybe I'll get her back to mine, maybe I'll have to wait for a second or third date. So tons of effort for a mediocre lay.

Option 2- download Grindr. I can have a twink at my doorstep within an hour. It's not gay, it's convenient.

lol you are not straight, i told you this already, you are in denial :laugh:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ciel.

lol you are not straight, i told you this already, you are in denial :laugh:

Lol so every bird who gets pissed at a party and snogs her best friend is a lezzie now? :P

Reply 16

Original post by Anonymous

Lol so every bird who gets pissed at a party and snogs her best friend is a lezzie now? :P

It's totally different, most just do it for attention, when drunk, not because they're sexually attracted to them. You simply want to **** guys, why can't you just get over it?

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ciel.

It's totally different, most just do it for attention, when drunk, not because they're sexually attracted to them. You simply want to **** guys, why can't you just get over it?

Lol no I want to **** twinks, feminine looking ones. Its like a girl from behind. If girls werent so hard to get Id **** them instead. I dont even get turned on I visualise sexy women to get hard

Reply 18