homesick, worried, upset and no idea what to do

201020rdf

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(edited 6 years ago)

Please don't despair.What you are feeling is perfectly normal.There are quite a few of us crying and worrying at present -- don't feel that you are on your own.Read some of the threads on here and you will see that.There is also some really good advice on here.For me,it helps to think that you are only away for a few weeks between the end of September and the beginning of December doing something new; that keeps things in perspective a bit

Reply 2

JustGeorgeJ

Original post by 201020rdf

I have just started uni and moved away from home and I have found it extremely hard and difficult to cope with I am missing home so much, I'm not normally a crier but since my parents left I have cried so much, I cry myself to sleep and don't get much sleep waking up at 4 in morning. I'm a quiet introverted person and family means everything to me, I don't drink and most of my house don't apart from 1 but apart from an odd conversation in the kitchen they don't want to do anything or take me up on my offer.

I know its about the course and that is the most important thing and maybe when lectures start it will get better but I am feeling so depressed and down and I always look for goals or aims or special events and I don't have any apart as even if I go home for a weekend I would never truly relax knowing I have to return.

Its really affecting me as I attend the gym and run a lot I tend to eat a lot and drink 4+ litres of water a day but I physically cannot it makes me sick, I attempted a run but burst into tears so quickly came back.

I literally don't know what to do the days seem so long and I really miss my parents I have spoken to them on the phone but I am trying to hold back tears and as soon as I come off I cry for a good few minutes afterwards. I know I should give it time but right now I really hate it and as stupid as it sounds the past few days have been the hardest of my life.

I really don't know what to do, I want to go home Thursday till Sunday as I don't have anything on but feel its too soon and wont come back and will breakdown and upset my parents, I am trying to make myself upbeat by saying you can go home every weekend it will cost £25 but I live frugally it should be ok. I feel like I should be getting a job and applied for loads before I came but I hate the thought of working weekend as I really want to spend time with my family.

Hello

,

I'm terribly sorry to hear that you are having that experience. It really gives me a heavy heart knowing that there are students like you feeling this way because nobody should feel that way - but saying that, what you are feeling is fairly common for a majority of students.

At the end of the day, it's the entire new lifestyle and change. It happens so quickly it sort of takes you by surprise and there is no real way to prepare for it so when it happens, it's a shock to the system and that's why you are feeling this way. It's early days yet and you haven't adjusted because all these negative feelings and thoughts that are pent up inside you are preventing you from looking at the silver lining.

My advice to you; there is no shame in calling your parents everyday. I do with mine because it's nice to catch up on what's going on in their lives. Do it - be honest with them and let them support you. Let them be there for you - there is no shame in crying. You will adjust, just baby steps to find how living alone is best for you.

I'm sorry to hear about your flat - it's a real shame that they are that way but you are doing better than most and actually offering to do things with them. Keep at it and don't let them get you down. There is no rule that says you have to get along or be friends with your flat mates, sure it's a bonus if you do, but it's not essential. Wait until your course starts, make friends there because you'll share an interest! Talk about that. Get stuck into your work and really put your all into that. Join societies with interests that you share and that'll be a good way to make friends.

Try to re-fire your passions and really discover what you love doing. Get active again, use this negative energy and burn it off in your runs, discover the city you are in and start off small and grow your confidence. Keep yourself distracted, watch films, read and write, go out on a walk! Discover yourself at this time.

Keep pushing and if it really is too much for you, then wait till the end of your first term and make a decision then. When I got to university I didn't think I could do it, I kept setting myself short term goals e.g. get to Christmas, and then get to Easter and so on and every time I reached one I realised I'd managed to do it and there was no reason that I couldn't carry on! You're stronger than you think - you've took the first leap now keep pushing!

Best of luck my friend, I wish you all the best :biggrin:

Reply 3

kr7650

Hey I'm sorry you feel this way. You could try and reapply next year somewhere closer to home so that it's easier for you? If you feel this upset and it's not improving you could talk to your tutor or any councilers at the uni and explain the situation. You could try to join societies and make new friends. Talk to your parents on the phone and explain the situation and if you continue to feel depressed then I'd advise you to re apply somewhere closer to home instead