Feel really upset and depressed over starting uni

Hi guys, I'm starting uni tomorrow and I literally feel so upset. I want a degree but I'm moving away and I don't feel 100% about the university I've chosen. I've literally cried so many times today over it whenever I think about it I start crying. I'm not gonna see my mum tomorrow so she said goodbye to me today and she was hugging me and crying I felt so sad. When going to uni you should feel excited but I just feel so upset and anxious I feel physically sick and stressed over it I feel sick just thinking about it. I want to make new friends but I'm just in two minds about going to university because I'm not sure about the uni I've chosen and the fact that I'll be away from my family but at the same time I don't want to waste a year taking a gap year. I just feel so upset and sick about leaving I don't know what to do. Any help guys?

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Reply 1

asim65

Moving away from home for Uni is a big step, but you got to remember home is only a train ride away and you can see your family more than you think, There is also phone calls and video chat you can do to keep your connection with home and be in touch a lot more. It is a big step as said but you will be fine just remember its easy to go home and see your family and they are a phone call away.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by asim65

True but I think there's other factors why I feel like this I don't feel that enthusiastic about my uni choice

Reply 3

Trinculo

Original post by Anonymous

True but I think there's other factors why I feel like this I don't feel that enthusiastic about my uni choice

which university is it?

Reply 4

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Its very common to feel homesick and have doubts, its a new adventure. You should know yourself and whether its what you want. You could have taken a gap year so you were more prepared mentally and sure its the degree and place you want, but you consider that to be a waste, so youve left yourself the choice of bote the bullet or find something else.

Persnally I would have taken a year out, but I would have done all my thinking in the year or summer before. If homesickness is so bad, then go to your local uni.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by VictoriaCoolio

Same here. I'm not 100% sure about the university I've chosen. I feel sick with the stress and I cry everytime I think about doing lectures.

I go soon and I literally just feel like crying but I don't know about taking a gap year.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by tantalised

Which university and to do what course?

I'd rather not say sorry

Reply 7

username1884577

You should listen to your gut, and you clearly don't want to go. So don't - taking a gap year isn't wasting a year, especially if you're in a better place and go to a university you want to go to next year

Reply 8

username2246259

You can always quit. What's the harm in quitting when it gets tough?

Reply 9

999tigger

You need to sort out what are the most importnat factors and how serious they are .

Homesickness= usual- most people get over it and thrive- if not consider whether being somewhere closer to home.-
Degree choice= yoy will be getting £45,000 into debt and 3 years of tour life., so make sur its soemthing you wnat and will enjoy or be able to cope with.
Uni= if its not the one you wnat, then consider a hap year and maybe retakes so you cna go soemwhere else.

You have had time to think about this.

The worst mistake is to go somewhere where you are unhappy for 3 years at a place you dont wnat to be in a subject you dont enjoy.
Most people deal with homesickness just fine. You have to decide if its just fear becayse its your first time away and you are naxious or whether its soemthing more deep seated. Talk to friends, your mum , teacher anyone you know who is sound and rlatively calm or has been to uni. If yopu quit do it witin 14 days.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Also I just don't feel 100% passionate about the uni. When I went to open days such a Nott Trent and other unis I really liked it but didn't apply because if the reputation but now I'm thinking I made a mistake because I don't feel truly happy going to the uni I've chosen and also my accomodation isn't on campus

Reply 11

katierose98

I felt exactly the same way, throughout all of summer I couldn't stop wobbling and had extreme anxiety about the whole thing; I wasn't sure on course or uni and so I decided there was no point in starting something that I'm obviously not ready for. I've now deferred my place for a year and feel much more relaxed and have finally stopped having meltdowns.
I'm not saying this is what you should do but I believe there should be some part of you that is excited for uni, even just a little. I was just dreading it.

A gap year really isn't a waste of time if you find something to do, one of my friends is going back to college whilst I am continuing at my job until Christmas to earn some money before I go travelling!
Hope I've helped ☺️

Reply 12

username1884577

Original post by Anonymous

As I said before, don't go.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by 999tigger

Thank you for the reply. I'm sitting here now and I literally feel like I'm gonna cry a whenever my parents speak to me because I just feel so down about going to uni.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

I'll probably sound stupid now but the city that I'm going to for uni I spent a week there before in the summer and I didn't really like it that much... It's a nice city but I don't feel like it's for me

Reply 15

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for the reply. I'm sitting here now and I literally feel like I'm gonna cry a whenever my parents speak to me because I just feel so down about going to uni.

You have to talk it through and decide whats making you unhappy. Are you naturally anxious and apprehensive about things?

Many hundreds of thousands will feel this way. Most of those will find they made the right choice and it was just fear of the unknown. It was not the course or the uni and then they make friends and start to make their own life, they thrive.

Its your choice of uni and course, so you must have some idea why you want to do it? If you have good reasons about uni and course, then perhaps its just fear of being away from the fmailiar and worrying things will not be nice.

If its the uni and course, then take a year out and pick a more suitable uni and course. Dont go somewhere or do a degree you dont want.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

But I'm looking on Facebook and seeing photos of people from my uni partying and that's making me think everyone's out there having a good time and then there's me ...

Reply 17

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Is there somewhere else or other course youd like to go or be happier with, that you have the grades for or could achieve in retakes? If you have really big doubts then id think about a gap year, but you arent giving me definite reasons as to why you dont want to go. Thats why you need to talk to parents friends and teachers.

Obviously at allunis its great fro some and not others.

Is it the Uni?
Is it the course?
Is it being away from home?
Is it your fear of making friends?
Is it the city?

You should know yourself by now to identify what it is.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 18

username1884577

Original post by Anonymous

But I'm looking on Facebook and seeing photos of people from my uni partying and that's making me think everyone's out there having a good time and then there's me ...