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Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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Original post by PandaWho
Cider/wine/spirits/alcoholic juice are all fine :wink:
Just no beer remember!!! Haha

A rolling ball is better than a flat ball that never moves :yep:
Ok 4am brain diesnt do analogies but you get me
:jumphugs:

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I think there may have been some confusion - I told her before that I drink a couple of hard ciders a week. In the US, cider is basically apple juice, whereas "hard cider" is the alcoholic drink so it's possible she thought I meant apple juice? :confused: :iiam:

How come you're up at 4am?
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Sabertooth
I think there may have been some confusion - I told her before that I drink a couple of hard ciders a week. In the US, cider is basically apple juice, whereas "hard cider" is the alcoholic drink so it's possible she thought I meant apple juice? :confused: :iiam:

How come you're up at 4am?


Americas strange :tongue: why not just have cider and apple juice?

Because my bodies decided insomnia is the way forward atm. Either that or its because im reducing my venlafaxine? Which reminds me i need to take it :facepalm:

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Original post by Spock's Socks
Thank you :hugs: I'm so sorry to hear about your pet, if you want to talk feel free to mail me anytime :hugs: I lost two last year and it broke my heart so it was all brought back tonight :cry2: Rambo got on ok at the vet. The vet said the lump is too small to biopsy atm so we've to watch it for a month or two and if it grows, then he'll take a biopsy but he said don't be concerned right now. I hate the watching and waiting game :frown:

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Thanks, you too :hugs: I'm glad the vet isn't too concerned right now. Hopefully it doesn't get any bigger
Original post by john2054
You can also leave brick and mortar universities after a year with a certificate, and after two with a diploma as well, you know Tara?


I didn't. I've not attended one before :smile: good to know though, if my mental health goes to pot I can leave new uni with more than shame and regret
Original post by ~Tara~
I didn't. I've not attended one before :smile: good to know though, if my mental health goes to pot I can leave new uni with more than shame and regret


Sure, it's good to try and see it through though, if you can? x
yeah of course. It wasnt a plan, just nice to know that options are available. My mental health can be really unpredictable because it depends which of my parts is in control. Not just my mental health like mood and stuff but a real cognitive struggle. Ive sat down to read research papers and ive not had the foggiest what any of it means because ive switched into child mode. Or I cant drive to get to uni. Or even if I can get to uni and understand the lectures, my speech is slurred like a drunk person, i have no spatial awareness and what speech isnt slurred is often back to front!

The reason a therapist will try to bring you into the present is because theres no deep input with a dissociated person. Theres no recovery work available. Same is true for complex input elsewhere. Its better for me not to attend that day than deal with social exclusion, embarrassment/shame/guilt/triggers. But i often go in regardless and just record the session.
I have a deep sadness and I don't know where it's come from but it's dragging me down and I can no longer see the top. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel all I can see is my

Spoiler

I can't
Original post by Skysweeper
I can't


What's up? :hugs:
Original post by Deyesy
What's up? :hugs:


Massive triggers were thrown at me consecutively.
I feel worthless and I feel like nobody would notice even if I just disappeared right now. (which I know isn't true but it feels that way...)
I don't know how long more I'll be able to deal with this before I go completely insane or...yeah. :frown:
Idk if anyone can help with this (probably end up deleting it :redface:) but does anyone know anything about sleeping because this is getting like beyond stupid.
it isnt even the nightmares that bother me that much anymore, never 'tasted' anything until last night tho, that is a new one.
it is the waking up that really pisses me off.
like once i can deal with, but repeatedly consectutively at 4am is really annoying especially bc lets say i go to bed at 12am ish then i get woken up at 4 then i only have 3 hours then before i have to get up again and sometimes i cant fall asleep till five and then ill have a nightmare at about 7 so it feels like i acc never sleep :/
any ideas/advice/idk what pls fix me :redface:
ty lol
Original post by Skysweeper
Massive triggers were thrown at me consecutively.
I feel worthless and I feel like nobody would notice even if I just disappeared right now. (which I know isn't true but it feels that way...)
I don't know how long more I'll be able to deal with this before I go completely insane or...yeah. :frown:


It sounds like you're going a really tough time :/ I think the people here in this society would notice if you disappeared :hugs: Does anyone in real know you're currently feeling?
Original post by Deyesy
It sounds like you're going a really tough time :/ I think the people here in this society would notice if you disappeared :hugs: Does anyone in real know you're currently feeling?


Hmm I'm working with a therapist so she knows I suppose. None other than her though. A friend knows about my conditions but I never tell him about how I'm feeling because I like to hang out with my friends as if nothing is wrong and all is well :/
I feel like there's no way out of these feelings, and nobody who understands

Every night this week I've felt suicidal - less so tonight, but it has taken a lot of effort to pull myself up

I just want to look forward to something, and feel something for someone

My feelings have been dampened for such a long time that I'm starting to think I won't get them back

What's wrong with me?

Gone off anon to try and get a response. I don't know how to feel better any more
Original post by Ezme39
I feel like there's no way out of these feelings, and nobody who understands

Every night this week I've felt suicidal - less so tonight, but it has taken a lot of effort to pull myself up

I just want to look forward to something, and feel something for someone

My feelings have been dampened for such a long time that I'm starting to think I won't get them back

What's wrong with me?

Gone off anon to try and get a response. I don't know how to feel better any more


I don't know your situation so I'll start with the basics. Have you seen your GP? Are you at university - could you go talk to a counselor or have you asked your GP/psychiatrist for a referral to a psychologist for CBT?
Original post by Sabertooth
I don't know your situation so I'll start with the basics. Have you seen your GP? Are you at university - could you go talk to a counselor or have you asked your GP/psychiatrist for a referral to a psychologist for CBT?


Thanks for replying Sabertooth :smile:

I haven't seen my GP about this. I get put off because I had a referral for anorexia in the past, and got no support for four months, which made me lose faith. I had been assigned a care coordinator, but I haven't spoken to her now for over a year, and this is a very different issue.

I'm a medical student, which makes this feel even more difficult. I'm terrified that they will ask me to leave the course or take time out, which is absolutely not an option for me. It's making me feel trapped.

The university counselling service is appealing, but it doesn't fit in with my timetable very well. I might be able to get a drop-in appointment on Friday, I'm just so scared of going.
Original post by Ezme39
Thanks for replying Sabertooth :smile:

I haven't seen my GP about this. I get put off because I had a referral for anorexia in the past, and got no support for four months, which made me lose faith. I had been assigned a care coordinator, but I haven't spoken to her now for over a year, and this is a very different issue.

I'm a medical student, which makes this feel even more difficult. I'm terrified that they will ask me to leave the course or take time out, which is absolutely not an option for me. It's making me feel trapped.

The university counselling service is appealing, but it doesn't fit in with my timetable very well. I might be able to get a drop-in appointment on Friday, I'm just so scared of going.


Yeah, the waiting times on the NHS can be pretty ridiculous. If you have a CC perhaps it's time to call her? I don't know much about anorexia but I imagine that a lot of people who struggle with that also struggle with depression so maybe the differences are less large than you might think? I know it can be really scary, and really really hard to reach out for help but I do think it's probably the best thing you can do. It sounds like you're in a pretty dark place right now and I understand not wanting to take time out of your course but, ime, this kind of thing doesn't generally resolve itself. I think if you did get pulled up by the people who deal with medical conditions in medical students (I have completely forgotten their name) then it's gonna look better that you're getting help than trying to deal with things on your own.

I know it's scary to see the counseling service, but I think they would know more about this than me or anyone else here and it can be really good to just let off steam with someone who isn't going to judge you.
Good things happening in noodlzzz MH life:

1) Stopped the olanazapine 3 days ago and already lost weight
2) Scars are really fading now. Should be able to wear short sleeves this summer in front of classmates (I have no problem doing so with friends/family and general public atm btw)
3) Got a letter from the psychiatrist supporting my application for DSA and getting support from the uni with this letter so I can hopefully do well this year, unlike my undergrad experience*
Original post by Noodlzzz
Good things happening in noodlzzz MH life:

1) Stopped the olanazapine 3 days ago and already lost weight
2) Scars are really fading now. Should be able to wear short sleeves this summer in front of classmates (I have no problem doing so with friends/family and general public atm btw)
3) Got a letter from the psychiatrist supporting my application for DSA and getting support from the uni with this letter so I can hopefully do well this year, unlike my undergrad experience*


That's great! Are you on any AP's at all now?
Want the ground to swallow me up

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