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Spanish Holiday Essay

Can someone Correct this piece of writing and give me tips on how to extend these sentences.( It doesn't matter if the sentences are true or not)

The questions for the exam are:

1) ?Que es lo mas/menos importante para ti en tus vacationes?
2) ?A donde te gustaria ir de vacationes?
3) ?A donde fuiste las vacationes pasados?
4) ?Que hiciste/comiste/con quin fuiste?
5) ?Que se puede hacer en?
6) ?Que hay en?

1) En mi opinion para mi lo mas importante es el alojamiento porque es instalationes son super. Lo menos importante es el tiendas porque pienso que abburido.

2) Me gustaria ir a Sri Lanka porque pienso que es tropical.

3) Para mi vacaciones pasados fui a Mojacar en Espana, con mis mejores amigos viajo en avion.

4) Durante mis vacaciones para fui son la playa y a restaurante en la playa.

5) Cuando mi padre y yo fuimos a Mojacar en Espana, fuimos a la playa, practicimos golf y compimos un apartamento, fuimos un baro en la playa.

6) En Mojacar hay un cine, uno piscinas y algunos citios, un compode golf. unfortunalmente no hay una bolera pero me gusta belora.
(edited 7 years ago)
If you want anyone to help you you're going to have to make a better effort than that. Some words in your sentences are made up and I can't understand other parts despite being a native speaker. Have you just chucked these sentences into Google translate?
Reply 2
Avatar for Thomas45678
Thomas45678
OP
I have not ''just chucked these sentences into google translate,'' this is what my school are teaching me. what parts do you not understand because this is why I came on this site so that I can improve and hopefully pass my GCSE's.

Please tell me which parts/words are wrong or you don't understand.
Original post by Thomas45678
I have not ''just chucked these sentences into google translate,'' this is what my school are teaching me. what parts do you not understand because this is why I came on this site so that I can improve and hopefully pass my GCSE's.

Please tell me which parts/words are wrong or you don't understand.


I'm sorry but that simply can't be true. How can they be teaching you imaginary words?

Non-existent words you used:
compimos
baro
citio
compode
unfortunalmente
belora.

It seems very rushed in places. I mean it takes 2 seconds for example to look up the Spanish word for "unfortunately" and it is certainly not "unfortunalmente".

Why don't you start by providing English translations of all the sentences you've listed. And also look at the questions you list as they're missing a lot of accents.
Reply 4
Avatar for Thomas45678
Thomas45678
OP
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
I'm sorry but that simply can't be true. How can they be teaching you imaginary words?

Non-existent words you used:
compimos
baro
citio
compode
unfortunalmente
belora.

It seems very rushed in places. I mean it takes 2 seconds for example to look up the Spanish word for "unfortunately" and it is certainly not "unfortunalmente".

Why don't you start by providing English translations of all the sentences you've listed. And also look at the questions you list as they're missing a lot of accents.


This is what my school is teaching me, whether you say it is wrong or not its what they are teaching, this is what I've been taught

compimos - we bought
baro - bar
citio - city
unfortunalmente - unfortunately
belora. - bowling

I don't know how I'm supposed to pass my GCSE's if my school are teaching me a load of crap.

And how do you put accents on words on a laptop?
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Thomas45678
This is what my school is teaching me, whether you say it is wrong or not its what they are teaching, this is what I've been taught

compimos - we bought
baro - bar
citio - city
unfortunalmente - unfortunately
belora. - bowling

I don't know how I'm supposed to pass my GCSE's if my school are teaching me a load of crap.

And how do you put accents on words on a laptop?


Wtf, who is teaching you this crap, a 5-year-old?!

"We bought" is "compramos"
"Bar" is the same in Spanish, "bar"
"City" is "ciudad"
"Unfortunately" is "desafortunadamente"
"Bowling alley" is "bolera".

I'm not sure if you're trolling me. How is it possible that a teacher would be giving you blatantly made up vocabulary??
Reply 6
Avatar for Thomas45678
Thomas45678
OP
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Wtf, who is teaching you this crap, a 5-year-old?!

"We bought" is "compramos"
"Bar" is the same in Spanish, "bar"
"City" is "ciudad"
"Unfortunately" is "desafortunadamente"
"Bowling alley" is "bolera".

I'm not sure if you're trolling me. How is it possible that a teacher would be giving you blatantly made up vocabulary??


She is also head of department, she is a French teacher teaching Spanish in an English school. I don't know how I'm going to get through my GCSe's with such a crap department.
Original post by Thomas45678
She is also head of department, she is a French teacher teaching Spanish in an English school. I don't know how I'm going to get through my GCSe's with such a crap department.


In that case I would seriously suggest you self study because this is just ridiculous. I cannot believe as a language teacher that she hasn't even bothered looking up the words in the language and must know full well that she's winging it. After every lesson you should look up the words yourself to see if what she said is true, preferably using wordreference instead of Google translate, the former is much better.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 8
Avatar for Thomas45678
Thomas45678
OP
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
In that case I would seriously suggest you self study because this is just ridiculous. I cannot believe as a language teacher that she hasn't even bothered looking up the words in the language and must know full well that she's winging it. After every lesson you should look up the words yourself to see if what she said is true, preferably using wordreference instead of Google translate, the former is much better.


Thank you very much for your help. I will use your advice.
Feedback:
1.) Don't use 'en mi opinion' followed by 'para mi'. It's not incorrect, exactly, but it's the equivalent of saying, 'In my opinion, for me', which just sounds a bit weird. Also 'es instalaciones' mean 'it is facilities'. Use 'los intalaciones' instead (the facilities.) Thirdly 'tiendas' is plural and so it should be 'las tiendas'. Similarly, it would be 'pienso que son aburridas' as it is feminine plural. I'm afraid I don't know what 'alojamiento' means. I know it but IDK man I'm tired.
2.) You need to fix the accents (there's one on the last i of gustaría) but I've kinda assumed that's just because it's typed - I can never be bothered with accents when typing. Apart from that, though, you need more of a justification. You want to go to Sri Lanka because it's tropical - why is it good that it's tropical? "Porque odio cuando hace frio, y prefiero el tiempo caliente." That's off the top of my head so it's probably wrong, but the point stands.
3.) The 'para mi' again sounds quite forced here - it doesn't flow. Maybe "Las vacaciones pasadas, fui a Majorcar con mis amigos. Es una isla cerca de Espana. Es preciosa (beautiful) y el momento mejor era cuando fuimos en un aviod y pudé ver toda la isla"?
4.) The question is asking 'what could you have done there?' rather that 'what did you do?' so don't just talk about what you did. Mention that there was a disco of some sorts but you couldn't go because you weren't eighteen. Maybe mention that there was a big circus but you don't like circuses because clowns scare you. Add some extra info in there.
5.) "Uno piscinas" is wrong Spanish in near every way possible. Firstly 'uno' is a masculine singular pronoun, but 'piscinas' is feminine plural. If you're trying to say 'some swimming pools', saying 'unas piscinas'. If you're trying to say 'a swimming pool' it is 'una piscina'. Also, 'pero' means 'but'. I think you mean 'porque', which means 'because'. A useful substitute for 'because' is 'por lo tanto' (therefore) or 'por este' (for this reason.) Just to jazz it up a bit.
Remember to always add a 'why' to EVERY SINGLE POINT YOU MAKE. Just like in English exams, there is no such thing as too much justification.
Original post by Skiing Turtles
Feedback:
1.) Don't use 'en mi opinion' followed by 'para mi'. It's not incorrect, exactly, but it's the equivalent of saying, 'In my opinion, for me', which just sounds a bit weird. Also 'es instalaciones' mean 'it is facilities'. Use 'los intalaciones' instead (the facilities.) Thirdly 'tiendas' is plural and so it should be 'las tiendas'. Similarly, it would be 'pienso que son aburridas' as it is feminine plural. I'm afraid I don't know what 'alojamiento' means. I know it but IDK man I'm tired.
2.) You need to fix the accents (there's one on the last i of gustaría) but I've kinda assumed that's just because it's typed - I can never be bothered with accents when typing. Apart from that, though, you need more of a justification. You want to go to Sri Lanka because it's tropical - why is it good that it's tropical? "Porque odio cuando hace frio, y prefiero el tiempo caliente." That's off the top of my head so it's probably wrong, but the point stands.
3.) The 'para mi' again sounds quite forced here - it doesn't flow. Maybe "Las vacaciones pasadas, fui a Majorcar con mis amigos. Es una isla cerca de Espana. Es preciosa (beautiful) y el momento mejor era cuando fuimos en un aviod y pudé ver toda la isla"?
4.) The question is asking 'what could you have done there?' rather that 'what did you do?' so don't just talk about what you did. Mention that there was a disco of some sorts but you couldn't go because you weren't eighteen. Maybe mention that there was a big circus but you don't like circuses because clowns scare you. Add some extra info in there.
5.) "Uno piscinas" is wrong Spanish in near every way possible. Firstly 'uno' is a masculine singular pronoun, but 'piscinas' is feminine plural. If you're trying to say 'some swimming pools', saying 'unas piscinas'. If you're trying to say 'a swimming pool' it is 'una piscina'. Also, 'pero' means 'but'. I think you mean 'porque', which means 'because'. A useful substitute for 'because' is 'por lo tanto' (therefore) or 'por este' (for this reason.) Just to jazz it up a bit.
Remember to always add a 'why' to EVERY SINGLE POINT YOU MAKE. Just like in English exams, there is no such thing as too much justification.


Some corrections as a native speaker:

1) It's "las instalaciones", not "los".

2) You can't say "el momento mejor", it has to be "el mejor momento".

3) This is the correct sentence "fuimos en avión y pude ver toda la isla". "Pude" doesn't have an accent on the "e".
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Some corrections as a native speaker:

1) It's "las instalaciones", not "los".

2) You can't say "el momento mejor", it has to be "el mejor momento".

3) This is the correct sentence "fuimos en avión y pude ver toda la isla". "Pude" doesn't have an accent on the "e".


Sorry; did know that, I was just absolutely exhausted when writing that.
Thank you for pointing it out! Do you reckon you could look over one of my exam pieces to make sure it's all correct? I'd really appreciate it.
Original post by Skiing Turtles
Sorry; did know that, I was just absolutely exhausted when writing that.
Thank you for pointing it out! Do you reckon you could look over one of my exam pieces to make sure it's all correct? I'd really appreciate it.

Sure, no problem.
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Sure, no problem.


Should I just post it here or would you rather I message you it?
I'm new here so I'm not really sure what to do :colondollar:
Original post by Skiing Turtles
Should I just post it here or would you rather I message you it?
I'm new here so I'm not really sure what to do :colondollar:


You can post it here but can't promise I'll get back to you right now, but will definitely do it today at some point.
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
You can post it here but can't promise I'll get back to you right now, but will definitely do it today at some point.


It's not urgent.

Mi trabajo a tiempo parcial
El año pasado, trabajé a tiempo parcial en una tienda con fines benéficos. Ayudé a los empleados a limpiar el suelo y organizar las estanterías. Me cansó, pero sin duda fue maravilloso, y pude relacionarme con quienes no hubiera hablado en otra cosa. El año que viene, trabajaré en la oficina del alcalde. Lo haré con una amiga quien trabajaba conmigo en la tienda – se llama Rose (si mi recuerda no me falla.) Es amable, divertida, y jamás malhumorada, pero es un poco callada – no tiene mucha confianza. Tendremos ordenar el papeleo – que suene increíblemente aburrido – pero confió en Rose a me ayudar divertirnos. Si Rose no sea allí, ¡preferiría morir!

Los trabajos en mi familia
Mucho de mi familia trabajaban como dependientes. Mi padre, después de obtuvo su PhD como ingeniero, trabajaba como dependiente para los ordenadores. Ahora, es propietario y opera una empresa de hoteles para las vacaciones en Gales, pero tiene una propiedad en Inglaterra también. No le gusta su trabajo – es estresante, y esta harto de los clientes que se enfadan cuando todas las cosas no son perfectas. Mi madre vendía medicina para la empresa NAP antes tuvo mi hermana menor. Empezó a trabajar otra vez hace dos años; sin embrago recientemente es muy enferma y no puede tener un trabajo. Mi tía, quien es enfermera, la ayuda. Mi madrasta es programadora, e intenta crear un programa para encentrar la enfermedad de Alzheimer.

Mis cualidades personales
En general, soy ambiciosa, agradable y me gusta pensar que soy bastante inteligente. Puedo trabajar en un equipo, pero no soy muy paciente; por eso, trabajo mejor sola. Creo que sería abogada buena, porque soy elocuente y no me fastidio frecuentemente. También, soy buena para los negocios, por lo tanto podría ser mujer de empresas o política – encuentro las políticas fascinantes. Los que más me interesan son las políticas de los Estados Unidos – ¡son tan ridículas como para ser chistosas!

Las prácticas laborales
El invierno pasado, hice prácticas laborales en una oficina de un amigo de mipadre que se llama Richard. Es muy amable, pero tiene un tabaquismo. La empresa es internacional, entonces podía practicar mi francés y español. Además, Richard habla alemán, por lo tanto aprendí mucho vocabulario nuevo. Era un poco aburrido; el primer día, trabajé con los ordenador todo el día, y el café del comedor era asco. El hombre quien trabajaba en frente de mí era precioso, y aproveché del té gratis.

¿Qué piensas de las prácticas laborales?
Creo que las prácticas laborales, en general, son ventajosas – permitan los jóvenes a ver cómo las empresas funcionan, y pueden aprender mucho – más palabras en una idioma, cómo llevarse con los antes de otras religiones, identidades étnicas, etcétera. Lo que me molesta es que no ganemos nada; hacemos el mismo trabajo que los secretarios, y hacemos el mejor que podemos, pero no nos agrada nadie.

Más tarde en la vida
No sé exactamente que me gustará hacer más tarde en mi vida, y no tengo una idea de donde seré en diez años. Pienso que haré A-Levels en las políticas, la economía y el francés. Sé que me gustaría aprender una idioma, porque quiero estudiar en el extranjero. También, me encantan la economía y el comercio, y las idiomas son muy buenas por los.
Antes ir al universidad, quiero hacer un año sabático, preferiblemente estuvo guía de esquí. Mis universidades ideales serían Oxford, Bath o London School of Economics (pero pienso que la renta a Londres es demasiada cara.) Cuando sea mayor, me gustaría hacer una Maestría de Administración de Empresas, a Insead a Paris. Eventualmente, espero que trabajaré en la Suiza para los Naciones Unidos

The formatting got kind of screwed up when I pasted it, so I hope it comes out alright in post.
Thanks again!
Original post by Skiing Turtles
It's not urgent.

Mi trabajo a tiempo parcial
El año pasado, trabajé a tiempo parcial en una tienda con fines benéficos. Ayudaba a los empleados a limpiar el suelo y a organizar las estanterías. Me cansaba, pero sin duda fue maravilloso, y pude relacionarme con personas con las que no hubiera hablado en otra situación. El año que viene, trabajaré en la oficina del alcalde. Lo haré con una amiga que trabajaba conmigo en la tienda – se llama Rose (si no me falla la memoria.) Es amable, divertida, y jamás está de mal humor, pero es un poco callada – no tiene mucha confianza. Tendremos que ordenar el papeleo – algo que suena increíblemente aburrido – pero confío que Rose (no "a me" needed) ayude a que nos divirtamos. Si no va Rose, ¡preferiré morir!

Los trabajos en mi familia
Muchos miembros de mi familia trabajaban como dependientes. Mi padre, después de obtener su tesis doctoral en ingeniería, trabajaba como dependiente en una tienda de ordenadores. Ahora, es propietario y lleva una empresa de hoteles para (no "las" needed here) vacaciones en Gales, pero también tiene una propiedad en Inglaterra. No le gusta su trabajo – es estresante, y está harto de que los clientes (no "que" needed here) se enfaden cuando ven que no está todo perfecto. Mi madre vendía medicina para la empresa NAP antes de que naciera mi hermana menor. Empezó a trabajar de nuevo hace dos años; sin embargo recientemente está muy enferma y no puede trabajar. Mi tía, que es enfermera, la ayuda. Mi madrastra es programadora, e intenta crear un programa para encentrar??? la enfermedad de Alzheimer.

Mis cualidades personales
En general, soy ambiciosa, agradable y me gusta pensar que soy bastante inteligente. Puedo trabajar en (no "un" needed) equipo, pero no soy muy paciente; por eso, trabajo mejor sola. Creo que sería una buena abogada, porque soy elocuente y no me mosqueo frecuentemente. También, soy buena para los negocios, por lo tanto podría ser mujer de empresa o política – encuentro la política fascinante. La que más me interesa es la política de los Estados Unidos – ¡es tan ridícula como para ser cómica!

Las prácticas laborales
El invierno pasado, hice prácticas laborales en una oficina de un amigo de mi padre que se llama Richard. Es muy amable, pero fuma mucho. La empresa es internacional, así que pude practicar mi francés y español. Además, Richard habla alemán, por lo tanto aprendí mucho vocabulario nuevo. El trabajo era un poco aburrido; el primer día, trabajé en el ordenador todo el día, y el café del comedor daba asco. El hombre que trabajaba en frente de mí era precioso???, y aproveché del té gratis.

¿Qué piensas de las prácticas laborales?
Creo que las prácticas laborales, en general, son ventajosas – permitan los jóvenes (no "a" needed) ver cómo funcionan las empresas, y pueden aprender mucho – más palabras de un idioma, cómo llevarse con los seguidores de otras religiones, identidades étnicas, etcétera. Lo que me molesta es que no ganamos nada; hacemos el mismo trabajo que los secretarios, y hacemos lo mejor que podemos, pero no nos aprecia nadie.


Más tarde en la vida
No sé exactamente lo que me gustaría hacer más tarde en la vida, y no tengo ni idea de donde estaré dentro de diez años. Pienso que estudiaré la política, la economía y el francés para los A-levels. Sé que me gustaría aprender un idioma, porque quiero estudiar en el extranjero. También (can't have a comma after the word "también" at the beginning of a sentence) me encantan la economía y el comercio, y en estas disciplinas los idiomas son muy útiles.
Antes de ir a la universidad, quiero tomarme un año sabático, preferiblemente trabajando como guía de esquí. Mis universidades ideales serían Oxford, Bath o London School of Economics (pero pienso que el alquiler en Londres es demasiado caro.) Cuando sea mayor, me gustaría hacer una maestría en Administración de Empresas, en Insead que está en Paris. A la larga, espero trabajar en (no "la" needed here) Suiza para las Naciones Unidas.

The formatting got kind of screwed up when I pasted it, so I hope it comes out alright in post.
Thanks again!


I've edited your text and done the corrections in red. In addition, here are a few comments:

1) In your second paragraph you use the verb encentrar which doesn't exist in Spanish. What were you trying to say?

2) To work as a team in Spanish is always trabajar en equipo without the indefinite article un. You only use the article when saying "I work in a team" and would usually specify which team.

3) I changed the form of the verb fastidiar to a form of the verb mosquear as the latter sounds more natural. Moreover, using fastidiar as a reflexive verb very often means "I mess myself up" or "I get in my own way".

4) You've probably been told that when speaking about jobs you don't use either the indefinite or definite article and for most cases this is true. However, when you say something like "I think I'll make a great [insert job]" then the definite article must be used.

5) While in English "politics" is plural, in Spanish it's singular: la política. Saying las políticas means "the female politicians".

6) Tabaquismo refers to "smoking" as a noun. It doesn't make sense to say "he has a smoking" like you wrote in your paragraph about work experience. I replaced it with "he smokes a lot".

7) In the same paragraph you say the man working in front of you was precioso which in this context would be gorgeous/extremely good-looking. Just wanted to make sure that's what you meant!

8) In your next paragraph you use the word antes where it doesn't make sense, as this is a preposition. I assume you meant followers of other religions?

9) Remember, the noun idioma, despite ending in the letter "a", is masculine in Spanish. You used the feminine article several times.

10) Do you also study French? Because several times you use the preposition a to mean in. In Spanish a only ever means to in the context of locations so you always have to use en.

11) Demasiado is a word that trips up many learners. The ending of the word only changes when it's followed by a noun, for example, aquí hay demasiadas mujeres. When followed by an adjective, it never changes, even if the adjective is plural, for example, los churros están demasiado buenos.

12) Beware of false friends. In Spanish, eventualmente does not mean eventually. Rather, it means by chance, occasionally.

13) Have you been taught the difference between the verbs estar and ser, both of which mean "to be" in Spanish? Because you were using the verb ser quite a bit where it should be estar. If not, then ask your teacher to as it's quite a tricky topic.

14) Finally and again, unlike French, most countries do not need to be preceded by a definite article in Spanish. Common exceptions are los Estados Unidos and la India.
(edited 7 years ago)

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