My guy forgot my birthday...

I'm calling him "my guy" because we're not in a relationship or anything serious but it's clear we have something and its more like we're waiting till university. Anyway should I be a bit disheartened about the fact he forgot my birthday and didn't make any effort, just a simple 'happy birthday'. I don't care about presents or anything, I was never bothered about that, I'm more of a 'show me you care person'. I feel like the only reason I'm more hurt than usual is because when it was his birthday I was abroad and I made sure I woke up at 3am to write a long ass paragraph and make him feel special so he could receive everything at midnight on the dot. This was before things got a little serious too so it breaks me that after all this time he forgot my birthday and when he did remember because it was on my friends snapchat he writes two words with a few emojis. I haven't even replied to it yet, should I be pissed?

Reply 1

UWS

A lot of guys don't really write long messages for stuff like this. I remember this girl wrote me some huge ass paragraph for New Year's and I just replied with "happy New year!"

Also he didn't forget your birthday, you said he said 'happy birthday' to you.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by UWS

no he did because he said it half way through the day and I know when he's lying. I can understand what you're saying but aren't birthdays more personal that new years?

Reply 3

UWS

Original post by Anonymous

no he did because he said it half way through the day and I know when he's lying. I can understand what you're saying but aren't birthdays more personal that new years?

They are but my point is some guys aren't that thoughtful with their messages. I mean you do get some who will put effort into it. It's usually girls who are really thoughtful and write paragraphs of stuff. I really wouldn't read too much into it.

Reply 4

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Lots of guys arent thoughftul. I cant see any reason to beat yourself up over it. you arent dating him. I understand why you are disappointed, but the more you dwell on it then you will drive yourself mad. If you need to tell him you are disappointed. Just remember when you go to Uni and you find a new bf that you like them to be thoughtful.

Reply 5

sararodrigues

Ouch, I would feel hurt. A birthday is special to me and yeah it's true that guys don't usually write long messages but doesn't hurt to write like 2 sentences or something specially if you guys have something. I think you should tell him that you didn't like what he did and say how you feel.

Happy birthday btw! 😊

Reply 6

Nadile

Original post by Anonymous

no he did because he said it half way through the day and I know when he's lying. I can understand what you're saying but aren't birthdays more personal that new years?

Just because he did it half way through the day doesn't mean he forgot. I sometimes only do that in the evening.

As for the lack of effort, some people don't put much importance onto things like birthdays. It could also be that he does not want to look weird by going over the top when you're not even in a relationship, he could feel like he's expected to act manly instead.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by sararodrigues

thank you my lovelyyyyyy, I think I might just tell him but I feel dumb having a go at him over this. Anyway we'll see....

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I'm gonna give you advice based on my experience- obviously every guy is different but what you just described sounds a lot like what happened to me.

So I was 'dating' a guy for a while- going on dates, staying over at eachothers, generally hanging out etc for around 4 months, then it was my bday.
At that time we would see eachother like 3/4 times a week, on my bday (21st) I asked time off work and delayed going home (away from uni) so I could spend the day with him. -He didn't get me anything- and we didn't even do anything we just watched a movie at his but I had arrived dressed nice thinking we'd go for food but he changed his mind.
I went on holiday the next day and I ended up getting him a souvenir for my birthday basically.

I never expected a massive present but thought he would do a gesture or small homemade present or card or something but never got anything. I thought nothing of it at the time but anyone I told was shocked and wondered why I hadn't been too bothered by it.
We carried on dating for like 9 more months, where it just got more and more rocky and he distanced himself more and eventually left saying he never wanted anything serious.

Looking back at it now it was the first sign that he didn't care about me like I cared for him and I should've got out then.
It takes nothing to say happy birthday or do something (free even) to make someone feel special for their bday.

So my advice is go with it, if you genuinely don't mind that he forgot, or make changes now other wise hell think it ok to treat you a certain way if he can get away with it.

I totally regret wasting my time with this guy and I know most of it was my fault for allowing certain behaviour, so just make sure you're not regretting whatever decision you make, a few months/years down the line.

Good luck :smile:

xxx

Reply 9

bluemadhatter

[video="youtube;4WT7nBGX5eU"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WT7nBGX5eU[/video]

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

xxx

sounds scarily the same.... thanks for your advice, I feel like it will help x

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by bluemadhatter

[video="youtube;4WT7nBGX5eU"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WT7nBGX5eU[/video]

"Nothing you could say could tear me away from my guy,"...except my birthday "my guy" lol jk

Reply 12

phunky_fresh

Guys don't care for things like that. Also some people don't really care for birthdays at all. I mean unless he's your boyfriend it isn't really the time to emphasise how important birthdays are to you. Next time around granted you're in a relationship with him you could mention it.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

yeah apparently "i never told him" it was my birthday and if I did I only said it once ages ago and he found out from instagram but really I told him on more than one ocassion, not even sorry about it, not even a "sorry I forgot"