The Student Room Group

26 Year Old Graduate: Depressed and opening up about my Problems

I could do with some support guys. i appreciate people taking time to read this post.

im a 26 year old graduate. I graduated with a degree in IT.

i have been dealing with depression, anxiety, OCD and Alcoholism since 2012.

the story starts like this, in 2012 i suffered with a major breakdown, i felt terrible and actually felt suicidal for the first time in my life. i started getting random panic attacks ( i didnt even know thats what they were). to make a long story short i got help from friends and family and went for counselling. it was fortunate for this to happen in summer, so it didnt conflict with my studies. anyway i got better and things were ok, i was frequently seeing a counselor ( hes an awsome guy and i still see him today).

fast forward to the near end of my degree back in 2013, i suffered with a terrible
identity crisses and OCD.im not going to go into what exactly my crisis was ( because everythings fine now) its all good now. and during this second wave of
obsession i developed a really dangerous drinking problem.i was a Jobless graduate, who sat around all day drinking and listening to Elliott Smith. i WASTED 3 ****ing years of my life not persuing a career in IT or even doing positive things. I.T. isnt really my passion, i must be honest. BUT i really want a form of professional/decent salaried work.

as soon as 2014 hit i finally got myself a job at a warehouse, it was ( and still is) liberating to be able to help my mum with the bills. the problem is however i wasted 3 years not building a professional career for myself. I still live at home and have struggled greatly over these past 3 years with my personal issues. but i have realsied that i cant switch off the rest of my life. if anything hitting 26 made me realsise how fast life can travel. i was 20, blew a fart and than hit 26 overnight LOL. being depressed and substance abusing ate up my time. i have learnt from this.

I turned 26 back in january and now going through a huge qautre Life crisis.

my depression ruined a huge chunk of my 20's, and i feel like i am just throwing away the most important years of my life. i turn 27 in january :frown:

this past summer i have been taking serious consideration for fixing this ****, fixing my ****ed up life.
1)Im going to get help with my addiction to alcohol
2)im learning to drive ( yes i left it way too late)
3)im going to try my best to get a high paying IT job. i need your advice and supprt. I graduated 3 YEARS ago with only a 2.2
4) i need to earn enough to move out and start my life. living at home with my mum is somthing i have to say goodbye to and move on.
5) continue to work on my problems with my counselor

i cant believe my OCD and personal issues ate up 3 ****ing years :frown:


im sorry if this post seems "mechanical" or if it lacks good story telling, the truth is i am hung over. and tired. i need advice on applying for interships, is it all too late ? thanks for reading i await anyones support. thank you
Original post by sadsadsadderton
I could do with some support guys. i appreciate people taking time to read this post.

im a 26 year old graduate. I graduated with a degree in IT.

i have been dealing with depression, anxiety, OCD and Alcoholism since 2012.

the story starts like this, in 2012 i suffered with a major breakdown, i felt terrible and actually felt suicidal for the first time in my life. i started getting random panic attacks ( i didnt even know thats what they were). to make a long story short i got help from friends and family and went for counselling. it was fortunate for this to happen in summer, so it didnt conflict with my studies. anyway i got better and things were ok, i was frequently seeing a counselor ( hes an awsome guy and i still see him today).

fast forward to the near end of my degree back in 2013, i suffered with a terrible
identity crisses and OCD.im not going to go into what exactly my crisis was ( because everythings fine now) its all good now. and during this second wave of
obsession i developed a really dangerous drinking problem.i was a Jobless graduate, who sat around all day drinking and listening to Elliott Smith. i WASTED 3 ****ing years of my life not persuing a career in IT or even doing positive things. I.T. isnt really my passion, i must be honest. BUT i really want a form of professional/decent salaried work.

as soon as 2014 hit i finally got myself a job at a warehouse, it was ( and still is) liberating to be able to help my mum with the bills. the problem is however i wasted 3 years not building a professional career for myself. I still live at home and have struggled greatly over these past 3 years with my personal issues. but i have realsied that i cant switch off the rest of my life. if anything hitting 26 made me realsise how fast life can travel. i was 20, blew a fart and than hit 26 overnight LOL. being depressed and substance abusing ate up my time. i have learnt from this.

I turned 26 back in january and now going through a huge qautre Life crisis.

my depression ruined a huge chunk of my 20's, and i feel like i am just throwing away the most important years of my life. i turn 27 in january :frown:

this past summer i have been taking serious consideration for fixing this ****, fixing my ****ed up life.
1)Im going to get help with my addiction to alcohol
2)im learning to drive ( yes i left it way too late)
3)im going to try my best to get a high paying IT job. i need your advice and supprt. I graduated 3 YEARS ago with only a 2.2
4) i need to earn enough to move out and start my life. living at home with my mum is somthing i have to say goodbye to and move on.
5) continue to work on my problems with my counselor

i cant believe my OCD and personal issues ate up 3 ****ing years :frown:


im sorry if this post seems "mechanical" or if it lacks good story telling, the truth is i am hung over. and tired. i need advice on applying for interships, is it all too late ? thanks for reading i await anyones support. thank you



Hey there, I just came across this and well I can understand to some extent (Il leave the gory details). For obvious reasons I will be brief and restricted to the little I know...can give

Firstly in some key respects you realise the issue, and this is critical; YES that... because so many people are in denial and this only feeds the cycle and adds to procrastination etc. You recognise the importance of getting back into the game, especially with the rampant pace of life.

Yes you may have graduated a while back, however it was in a sought after area which is needed for the modern economy; there are a number of opps for someone like you.... the Big 4 are open to 2:2's (and if IT is really not for you they are broad enough to accomodate you ) and look at something like Inspiring Interns to build up yourself.

And finally.... IT IS NEVER TO LATE to improve, pick your self up and become better than version 1.0
Reply 2
Original post by sadsadsadderton
I could do with some support guys. i appreciate people taking time to read this post.

im a 26 year old graduate. I graduated with a degree in IT.

i have been dealing with depression, anxiety, OCD and Alcoholism since 2012.

the story starts like this, in 2012 i suffered with a major breakdown, i felt terrible and actually felt suicidal for the first time in my life. i started getting random panic attacks ( i didnt even know thats what they were). to make a long story short i got help from friends and family and went for counselling. it was fortunate for this to happen in summer, so it didnt conflict with my studies. anyway i got better and things were ok, i was frequently seeing a counselor ( hes an awsome guy and i still see him today).

fast forward to the near end of my degree back in 2013, i suffered with a terrible
identity crisses and OCD.im not going to go into what exactly my crisis was ( because everythings fine now) its all good now. and during this second wave of
obsession i developed a really dangerous drinking problem.i was a Jobless graduate, who sat around all day drinking and listening to Elliott Smith. i WASTED 3 ****ing years of my life not persuing a career in IT or even doing positive things. I.T. isnt really my passion, i must be honest. BUT i really want a form of professional/decent salaried work.

as soon as 2014 hit i finally got myself a job at a warehouse, it was ( and still is) liberating to be able to help my mum with the bills. the problem is however i wasted 3 years not building a professional career for myself. I still live at home and have struggled greatly over these past 3 years with my personal issues. but i have realsied that i cant switch off the rest of my life. if anything hitting 26 made me realsise how fast life can travel. i was 20, blew a fart and than hit 26 overnight LOL. being depressed and substance abusing ate up my time. i have learnt from this.

I turned 26 back in january and now going through a huge qautre Life crisis.

my depression ruined a huge chunk of my 20's, and i feel like i am just throwing away the most important years of my life. i turn 27 in january :frown:

this past summer i have been taking serious consideration for fixing this ****, fixing my ****ed up life.
1)Im going to get help with my addiction to alcohol
2)im learning to drive ( yes i left it way too late)
3)im going to try my best to get a high paying IT job. i need your advice and supprt. I graduated 3 YEARS ago with only a 2.2
4) i need to earn enough to move out and start my life. living at home with my mum is somthing i have to say goodbye to and move on.
5) continue to work on my problems with my counselor

i cant believe my OCD and personal issues ate up 3 ****ing years :frown:


im sorry if this post seems "mechanical" or if it lacks good story telling, the truth is i am hung over. and tired. i need advice on applying for interships, is it all too late ? thanks for reading i await anyones support. thank you


Good luck. It is good that you have got a job that pays. I couldn't even get that. People think you can just walk out of a degree in to a graduate job, but sadly that often isn't the case!!
I think its really brave that you've opened up! You've listed what you are planning on working on and have admitted your problems which is the first step so well done! Also, maybe have a look into graduate schemes? Theres are hundreds out there and contrary to popular belief not all of them need a 2:1, many of these accept people with 2:2 you just need to do some research. I wish you all the best
Reply 4
Im going to tell you something. You Think you would achieve happiness if you reached all these things you stated: high paying IT job, starting of your career, moving out etc. When you reach those stages trust me, you will only feel a bit of fulfillment and you will still feel problems and anxiety.

Life is funny like that, people who have everything are also depressed and some people who have nothing are happy too, my point isint to give up but it is only one thing. Perspective. You will no matter what face problems throughout your life if its not your career it might even be health or social life. The only way you can improve is to invest in yourself, improve your attitude and you look on life. There will almost never be a point in your life where you can be permanently happy, life is not about the Destination only about the journey.

You are 26 years old, you still have the rest of your life ahead of you, you can never be too late, you have been to uni so you have seen people in their 40's studying and building there career. Just start slowly and build your way up thats all, if it was that easy we would all be millionaires.

But my bro your mental health is more important relax and think about what you want and who you are for real.
Original post by sadsadsadderton
I could do with some support guys. i appreciate people taking time to read this post.

im a 26 year old graduate. I graduated with a degree in IT.

i have been dealing with depression, anxiety, OCD and Alcoholism since 2012.

the story starts like this, in 2012 i suffered with a major breakdown, i felt terrible and actually felt suicidal for the first time in my life. i started getting random panic attacks ( i didnt even know thats what they were). to make a long story short i got help from friends and family and went for counselling. it was fortunate for this to happen in summer, so it didnt conflict with my studies. anyway i got better and things were ok, i was frequently seeing a counselor ( hes an awsome guy and i still see him today).

fast forward to the near end of my degree back in 2013, i suffered with a terrible
identity crisses and OCD.im not going to go into what exactly my crisis was ( because everythings fine now) its all good now. and during this second wave of
obsession i developed a really dangerous drinking problem.i was a Jobless graduate, who sat around all day drinking and listening to Elliott Smith. i WASTED 3 ****ing years of my life not persuing a career in IT or even doing positive things. I.T. isnt really my passion, i must be honest. BUT i really want a form of professional/decent salaried work.

as soon as 2014 hit i finally got myself a job at a warehouse, it was ( and still is) liberating to be able to help my mum with the bills. the problem is however i wasted 3 years not building a professional career for myself. I still live at home and have struggled greatly over these past 3 years with my personal issues. but i have realsied that i cant switch off the rest of my life. if anything hitting 26 made me realsise how fast life can travel. i was 20, blew a fart and than hit 26 overnight LOL. being depressed and substance abusing ate up my time. i have learnt from this.

I turned 26 back in january and now going through a huge qautre Life crisis.

my depression ruined a huge chunk of my 20's, and i feel like i am just throwing away the most important years of my life. i turn 27 in january :frown:

this past summer i have been taking serious consideration for fixing this ****, fixing my ****ed up life.
1)Im going to get help with my addiction to alcohol
2)im learning to drive ( yes i left it way too late)
3)im going to try my best to get a high paying IT job. i need your advice and supprt. I graduated 3 YEARS ago with only a 2.2
4) i need to earn enough to move out and start my life. living at home with my mum is somthing i have to say goodbye to and move on.
5) continue to work on my problems with my counselor

i cant believe my OCD and personal issues ate up 3 ****ing years :frown:


im sorry if this post seems "mechanical" or if it lacks good story telling, the truth is i am hung over. and tired. i need advice on applying for interships, is it all too late ? thanks for reading i await anyones support. thank you


Hello

will have to be a quick answer.

1. I dont think your situation is that bad, certainly one you can get yourself out of and youve started to do that.

2. The alcohol is the first issue I would tackle so keep up with the classes and therapy. AA might also be worth giving a crack. You need to find an alternative to the times when you go for the alcohol.

3. The next is the depression. Its part everything thats going on, so it will only **** when you srt everything out. That said you cna get rid of most of it just by making porgress and repairing things that have gone wrong. Go and get some medication, therpay and do exercise.

4. Keep up with the counselor.

5. Keep up with the job as that supplies the money and a structure.

6. You need a career plan and you use the money andspare time towards that which gives you the propsect of hope and soemthing else to do other thna feel trappend. Ovciously to get where you wnat to o then you have to get the alcohol and depression very much under control.

7. The next bit is more problematic because a 2:2 is going to be a hard sell. You need to redo and relearn your job seeking skills. gte hold of a cheap copy of what color is my parachute (any edition) Richard Nelson Bolles ten speed press. read all of it. If you get experience plus some more suful exams and know how to sell yourself then you cna get a job and work from there. be determined (difficult if you are depressed).

8. Join the professional body and try and get a mentor. princes trust have some mentors as well. Start doing some coding or getting a few cheap professional qualifications the ones that give biggest reward per £ and per hour spent. Job adverts are a good clue as to what employers look for.

9. Get some experience, even if its just two weeks. Btw dont do computers if you dont like it, just look at other areas then. parachute gives you an idea how to find your ideal job. the idea is to become good at soemthing you enjoy.

10. Be determined and dont beat yourself up. Its counterproductive for where you wnat to go. take it one day at a time and get more determined if you hit a setback. Keep taking small steps and you will get there. You could be well on your way by the time you hit 30.
Original post by 999tigger
Hello

will have to be a quick answer.

1. I dont think your situation is that bad, certainly one you can get yourself out of and youve started to do that.

2. The alcohol is the first issue I would tackle so keep up with the classes and therapy. AA might also be worth giving a crack. You need to find an alternative to the times when you go for the alcohol.

3. The next is the depression. Its part everything thats going on, so it will only **** when you srt everything out. That said you cna get rid of most of it just by making porgress and repairing things that have gone wrong. Go and get some medication, therpay and do exercise.

4. Keep up with the counselor.

5. Keep up with the job as that supplies the money and a structure.

6. You need a career plan and you use the money andspare time towards that which gives you the propsect of hope and soemthing else to do other thna feel trappend. Ovciously to get where you wnat to o then you have to get the alcohol and depression very much under control.

7. The next bit is more problematic because a 2:2 is going to be a hard sell. You need to redo and relearn your job seeking skills. gte hold of a cheap copy of what color is my parachute (any edition) Richard Nelson Bolles ten speed press. read all of it. If you get experience plus some more suful exams and know how to sell yourself then you cna get a job and work from there. be determined (difficult if you are depressed).

8. Join the professional body and try and get a mentor. princes trust have some mentors as well. Start doing some coding or getting a few cheap professional qualifications the ones that give biggest reward per £ and per hour spent. Job adverts are a good clue as to what employers look for.

9. Get some experience, even if its just two weeks. Btw dont do computers if you dont like it, just look at other areas then. parachute gives you an idea how to find your ideal job. the idea is to become good at soemthing you enjoy.

10. Be determined and dont beat yourself up. Its counterproductive for where you wnat to go. take it one day at a time and get more determined if you hit a setback. Keep taking small steps and you will get there. You could be well on your way by the time you hit 30.


yea thanks for the reply. The 2.2 is making it harder and I really don't want to get into a heavy programming position. lol I haven't applied for a IT job in like 2 years now. ideally I just don't want to get back into education again, I cant leave my degree behind sure but I also cant leave my job. I need to be earning and I surely don't want to work for free. I'm 26 and need to support myself. I printed and banded my old uni project and looking back on my software development skills I cant help but feel that I worked really hard and could be capable of a position somewhere
Original post by remmo123
Im going to tell you something. You Think you would achieve happiness if you reached all these things you stated: high paying IT job, starting of your career, moving out etc. When you reach those stages trust me, you will only feel a bit of fulfillment and you will still feel problems and anxiety.

Life is funny like that, people who have everything are also depressed and some people who have nothing are happy too, my point isint to give up but it is only one thing. Perspective. You will no matter what face problems throughout your life if its not your career it might even be health or social life. The only way you can improve is to invest in yourself, improve your attitude and you look on life. There will almost never be a point in your life where you can be permanently happy, life is not about the Destination only about the journey.

You are 26 years old, you still have the rest of your life ahead of you, you can never be too late, you have been to uni so you have seen people in their 40's studying and building there career. Just start slowly and build your way up thats all, if it was that easy we would all be millionaires.

But my bro your mental health is more important relax and think about what you want and who you are for real.



i agree with you 100% and even though i dont want to it is kinda true. the reason why I want to achieve these things is because i left my ENTIRE LIFE on hold for like 3+1/2 years during my depression. thats a huge chunk of my twenties to develope skills. and it made me reaslize that although i have troubles i cant simply leave everything else on hold. you simply cant when it comes to life problems. leaving everything else on hold could last years and years. before you know it i will be 30 years old and done **** all with my life.
Original post by sadsadsadderton
yea thanks for the reply. The 2.2 is making it harder and I really don't want to get into a heavy programming position. lol I haven't applied for a IT job in like 2 years now. ideally I just don't want to get back into education again, I cant leave my degree behind sure but I also cant leave my job. I need to be earning and I surely don't want to work for free. I'm 26 and need to support myself. I printed and banded my old uni project and looking back on my software development skills I cant help but feel that I worked really hard and could be capable of a position somewhere


Treat yourself as your own project.
Its really important you deal with the issues, becayse they will get in the way of you being able to function and reduce your ability to compete effectively.

If you wnat to do computing then i'd suggest you find some voluntarty work where you can srt out their IT problem, a small project or some coding so you cna start to build a porfolio. That will help you distinguish yourself a bit, plus give yourself some experience.

You need to be determined and I mean treat it like a 12month + project just to get a job and keep moving forward rather thna collapsing and giving up. You dont have to leave your degree behind but you do have to get your foot in the door and when you do, then you have to know how to maximise your chances.
Reply 9
Original post by sadsadsadderton
I could do with some support guys. i appreciate people taking time to read this post.

im a 26 year old graduate. I graduated with a degree in IT.

i have been dealing with depression, anxiety, OCD and Alcoholism since 2012.

the story starts like this, in 2012 i suffered with a major breakdown, i felt terrible and actually felt suicidal for the first time in my life. i started getting random panic attacks ( i didnt even know thats what they were). to make a long story short i got help from friends and family and went for counselling. it was fortunate for this to happen in summer, so it didnt conflict with my studies. anyway i got better and things were ok, i was frequently seeing a counselor ( hes an awsome guy and i still see him today).

fast forward to the near end of my degree back in 2013, i suffered with a terrible
identity crisses and OCD.im not going to go into what exactly my crisis was ( because everythings fine now) its all good now. and during this second wave of
obsession i developed a really dangerous drinking problem.i was a Jobless graduate, who sat around all day drinking and listening to Elliott Smith. i WASTED 3 ****ing years of my life not persuing a career in IT or even doing positive things. I.T. isnt really my passion, i must be honest. BUT i really want a form of professional/decent salaried work.

as soon as 2014 hit i finally got myself a job at a warehouse, it was ( and still is) liberating to be able to help my mum with the bills. the problem is however i wasted 3 years not building a professional career for myself. I still live at home and have struggled greatly over these past 3 years with my personal issues. but i have realsied that i cant switch off the rest of my life. if anything hitting 26 made me realsise how fast life can travel. i was 20, blew a fart and than hit 26 overnight LOL. being depressed and substance abusing ate up my time. i have learnt from this.

I turned 26 back in january and now going through a huge qautre Life crisis.

my depression ruined a huge chunk of my 20's, and i feel like i am just throwing away the most important years of my life. i turn 27 in january :frown:

this past summer i have been taking serious consideration for fixing this ****, fixing my ****ed up life.
1)Im going to get help with my addiction to alcohol
2)im learning to drive ( yes i left it way too late)
3)im going to try my best to get a high paying IT job. i need your advice and supprt. I graduated 3 YEARS ago with only a 2.2
4) i need to earn enough to move out and start my life. living at home with my mum is somthing i have to say goodbye to and move on.
5) continue to work on my problems with my counselor

i cant believe my OCD and personal issues ate up 3 ****ing years :frown:


im sorry if this post seems "mechanical" or if it lacks good story telling, the truth is i am hung over. and tired. i need advice on applying for interships, is it all too late ? thanks for reading i await anyones support. thank you


100% understand your situation man, depression keeps eating away at you to the point where you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there is one.

But I think the problem lies in your career choice, if you did want to have a career in IT, you would have pursued it. You want to do something different, I'd say take some time out to think of what you want to do, this could be going to a real nice park. You gotta find a passion, when you do something you love, you'll be happier.

Forget your degree for now, evaluate what you want to do in life and don't worry you're not that old.
When I was a young thing, I left Oxford with a decent degree. I spent the next two years on the dole, deeply depressed. But eventually, things got better. What helped for me:

- one big pitfall for me was allowing the past to suck up all my energy into a story that I kept telling myself ("I'm a failure, nothing I do works out, all the time I've wasted...blah blah). I finally managed to build a life story that recognised my strength, bloody-mindedness, kindness and fighting spirit. Every time I heard the 'bad narrative' creeping back in - even when I felt it was "true" - I told it to f£$% off.

- another way of sabotaging myself was to set unrealistic goals, which i would then fail to achieve. Small, achievable steps and long term thinking was more helpful

- At last, I retrained in a completely different field. It took another 3 years (and another 6 months on the dole after qualifying!) before I finally got a job that involved travelling throughout the country. I passed my driving test the week before I started, aged 28.

This might not be any use to you, but for sure - you have plenty of time ahead of you; things will change.

Oh, I just remembered another thing - making a mixtape of "cathartic", miserable songs was a REALLY BAD IDEA
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by OxFossil
When I was a young thing, I left Oxford with a decent degree. I spent the next two years on the dole, deeply depressed. But eventually, things got better. What helped for me:

- one big pitfall for me was allowing the past to suck up all my energy into a story that I kept telling myself ("I'm a failure, nothing I do works out, all the time I've wasted...blah blah). I finally managed to build a life story that recognised my strength, bloody-mindedness, kindness and fighting spirit. Every time I heard the 'bad narrative' creeping back in - even when I felt it was "true" - I told it to f£$% off.

- another way of sabotaging myself was to set unrealistic goals, which i would then fail to achieve. Small, achievable steps and long term thinking was more helpful

- At last, I retrained in a completely different field. It took another 3 years (and another 6 months on the dole after qualifying!) before I finally got a job that involved travelling throughout the country. I passed my driving test the week before I started, aged 28.

This might not be any use to you, but for sure - you have plenty of time ahead of you; things will change.

Oh, I just remembered another thing - making a mixtape of "cathartic", miserable songs was a REALLY BAD IDEA


i found alcohol and good ole Elliott smith to be quite soothing but, also a way of just romantising my sadness. ive moved on, espicially when going through alcohol
withdrawal symptoms. withdrawal from alcohol is absolutely terrible, it mentally and physically hurts. its a lot to take in
"Romanticising my sadness" is exactly right! It took me SO long to work out that the rituals and thoughts that I had habitually used were part of the problem, not the solution. As for alcohol withdrawal - it is brutal. Luckily, my body took my decisions for me on that - I suddenly got allergic. Nowadays, even a glass of wine makes me sick. Worth the sacrifice!
well man you said you have no passion for I,T i dont know how that is going to help you become a better person
Original post by nerdling_CompSci
well man you said you have no passion for I,T i dont know how that is going to help you become a better person


i didnt mind some things, software engineering etc...

but i just want a stable income, a job that has some future career prospects. i do need to get my leg into somthing professional. IT may not be my passsion, but i a job is a job. and its not as if i wouldnt work hard for it
gonna bump this thread

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