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Struggling with homophobia in the church.

So I go to a pretty liberal pentecostal church which i LOVE. The atmosphere is always so unbelievably positive and accepting and loving so I really thought that I'd found my people and my church going there...until this morning.

We had a guest preacher (turns out he used to be the pastor there like 10 years ago but I've not been there that long) and he was talking about the second coming of Christ. He was saying about how the world is getting worse and ungodly so it will be soon, and this was due to terrorism and war etc. Then he started talking about the loss of family values and sexual immorality. He never outrightly said homosexuality or being gay but it was SO clear what he was talking about.

I wasn't happy but understood why he might feel this way, he backed up this with scripture and I won't disagree with God's word but then he started going off on some of the most ignorant things I've ever heard. He kept saying "now young people, listen to this" and then genuinely was suggesting that being gay lead to disease and debauchery, taking drugs and turning evil. I actually couldn't believe what I was hearing and how my lovely, accepting church was allowing him to say these things. It felt like he totally went off reading scripture and was just on a tangent about his own hateful opinions.

I'm now feeling very torn about whether this church is the right one for me. I believe that God loves us all and as long as we believe and follow the path of Jesus then we will be saved. And I definitely think you can be gay and follow Jesus - I certainly don't think its a choice. I think what has upset me the most is the fact that I've always seen my church as so accepting, I used to go to a really conservative catholic church and nothing this hateful was ever said there so it completely shocked me to come from my current church.

I don't know whether this is something I have to accept and just continue in my church because apart from today I have loved it. Or do I need to find a new church?

(I'm sorry this is long, I just needed to get it all out of my system)
(edited 6 years ago)

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What does your church think of what preacher? Did they all agree?
Original post by lowza
So I go to a pretty liberal, happy clappy pentecostal church which i LOVE. The atmosphere is always so unbelievably positive and accepting and loving so I really thought that I'd found my people and my church going there...until this morning.

We had a guest preacher (turns out he used to be the pastor there like 10 years ago but I've not been there that long) and he was talking about the second coming of Christ. He was saying about how the world is getting worse and ungodly so it will be soon, and this was due to terrorism and war etc. Then he started talking about the loss of family values and sexual immorality. He never outrightly said homosexuality or being gay but it was SO clear what he was talking about.

I wasn't happy but understood why he might feel this way, he backed up this with scripture and I won't disagree with God's word but then he started going off on some of the most ignorant things I've ever heard. He kept saying "now young people, listen to this" and then genuinely was suggesting that being gay lead to disease (AIDs), taking drugs and turning evil. I actually couldn't believe what I was hearing and how my lovely, accepting church was allowing him to say these things. It felt like he totally went off reading scripture and was just on a tangent about his own hateful opinions.

I'm now feeling very torn about whether this church is the right one for me. I believe that God loves us all and as long as we believe and follow the path of Jesus then we will be saved. And I definitely think you can be gay and follow Jesus. I think what has upset me the most is the fact that I've always seen my church as so accepting, I used to go to a really conservative catholic church and nothing this hateful was ever said there so it completely shocked me to come from my current church.

I don't know whether this is something I have to accept and just continue in my church because apart from today I have loved it. Or do I need to find a new church?

(I'm sorry this is long, I just needed to get it all out of my system)


Hi,

I'm sorry that you came across this. Sadly it's quite a common trope in Christianity, regardless of denomination :sadnod:

Ultimately only you can decide/discern whether you need to leave this church. Imho one can follow a denomination/belong to a church congregation without subscribing/adhering to everything that is taught/said there. But I can see this has shocked and surprised you. So it's worth praying over :yes:

:hugs:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Because your church is right? Why are you expecting the religon of christianity to change their views for you because you like effing men?
Lol.
It's a church....what do you expect?
Reply 5
Original post by samantham999
Because your church is right? Why are you expecting the religon of christianity to change their views for you because you like effing men?


Ah yes every single branch and member of Christianity thinks being homosexual is wrong don't they, glad you could speak on behalf of all of them? Please do tell us how you're such an expert on theology :smile:

What a moronic thing for you to ****ing post.
Original post by samantham999
Because your church is right? Why are you expecting the religon of christianity to change their views for you because you like effing men?


The religion has changed its views in the past though.Divorce for example is not nearly as stigmatised as it was.It also ignores plenty of things the bible says.How about that bit about camels passing through needles and no rich men entering the kingdom of god.How much do you think the art in the sistine chapel is worth for example? 1 billion? A trillion? If the catholic church were true followers of christ they'd give all that wealth away.
Original post by samantham999
The bible is against homosexuality as if Judaism and Islam, All 3 Abrahamic religions

I think you just want to feel like you belong somewhere but unfortunately your mind thinks you like effing men therefore you're trying to turn every institution gay

stop complaining about being gay and people not accepting you because its disgusting and you're sick in the head, may god guide your lost soul


Whats disgusting here is your homophobic attitudes.Such attitudes directly contribute to suicides amongst gay youth.Such attitudes also inspire attrocities against gay people.The nazis for example.Some how I'm thinking god doesnt look particularly favourably upon murder or actions contributing to murder.
To genuinely reform these churches they need either young people to take a lead and proceed to outlaw these hate preachers, or they need to cut them out.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 9
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
What does your church think of what preacher? Did they all agree?


I'm not entirely sure. Usually during sermons we have quite a lot of men that talk over the top and start saying "yeah" and "amazing" and all that kind of stuff but that didn't happen when he was saying these things. So I'm thinking possibly not. However, the fact that he is the former pastor makes me think that this may be my church's stance towards it.
Reply 10
It really isn't though, it doesn't have to be. I know that man & woman is God's plan, and I respect the beliefs that conform to this entirely. I also know that God loves everyone, all His children, regardless of their sexuality or their sins. We are forgiven of our sins, thanks to Jesus. Eating pork is prohibited in the bible and planting multiple types of seed in a field is prohibited in the bible, so I'm taking the benefit of the doubt and believing that God's love for us overrules all else. I don't think God teaches hate, but this man was.

My issue wasn't really the fact that he was against gay people, although I don't agree with homophobia, part of me understands why some christians feel this way. It was the fact that he started linking being gay to drugs and alcohol and disease etc. which the bible doesn't preach AT ALL. It was the ignorant, hateful side to his views that I'm worried my church might also possess? I just didn't think that was what my church is like at all :/
Reply 11
OP - one person doesn't represent the entirety of your church. If you love going there, you should continue doing so and just forget about him. Unfortunately religions will always spur hate in society, but that doesn't have to include everyone believing in that religion. Be the difference.

Original post by samantham999
The bible is against homosexuality as if Judaism and Islam, All 3 Abrahamic religions

I think you just want to feel like you belong somewhere but unfortunately your mind thinks you like effing men therefore you're trying to turn every institution gay

stop complaining about being gay and people not accepting you because its disgusting and you're sick in the head, may god guide your lost soul


I'll say it - reasoning of ISIS right there.

Helps you distinguish the mentally fit from the 'others'...

Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 12
Original post by samantham999
Because your church is right? Why are you expecting the religon of christianity to change their views for you because you like effing men?


I will just point out that I am a woman, and I'm straight so I guess I do like 'effing men' but I'm pretty sure the bible is happy with that.

It's not the against gay opinion I'm shocked by. I get that. I know God's plan is man & woman but that definitely DOES NOT mean that we can be hateful against gay people. Jesus was the man who cared for the leper and touched the woman no one else would touch. He was kind and loving. If we want to follow in his path then we must be kind and loving towards everyone, no matter their sexuality.

It was this man's ignorant opinions I was shocked by. It was the fact he was calling upon the young people, telling us that being gay leads to disease, and drugs and becoming evil. This was NOT backed by scripture and not God's word but his own ignorant views.
Reply 13
Original post by loveleest
Lol.
It's a church....what do you expect?


I expect the people of the church to be kind and loving, following Jesus in their actions.

I also expect that some people will be against gay marriage and gay people.

I DO NOT expect that someone will come up spouting out utter nonsense about how being gay leads to drugs and alcoholism and disease. Which is NOT backed up by scripture and entirely hateful.
Original post by lowza
It really isn't though, it doesn't have to be. I know that man & woman is God's plan, and I respect the beliefs that conform to this entirely. I also know that God loves everyone, all His children, regardless of their sexuality or their sins. We are forgiven of our sins, thanks to Jesus. Eating pork is prohibited in the bible and planting multiple types of seed in a field is prohibited in the bible, so I'm taking the benefit of the doubt and believing that God's love for us overrules all else. I don't think God teaches hate, but this man was.

My issue wasn't really the fact that he was against gay people, although I don't agree with homophobia, part of me understands why some christians feel this way. It was the fact that he started linking being gay to drugs and alcohol and disease etc. which the bible doesn't preach AT ALL. It was the ignorant, hateful side to his views that I'm worried my church might also possess? I just didn't think that was what my church is like at all :/


I think you have the exact right mindset when it comes to homosexuality in the church. One of my friends from church recently came out and the students in our church gave him nothing but love, but I think you always have to remember that people in each church will still have their own backgrounds and beliefs that they had before going to that church. My mom for example thinks Beyoncé is demonic and hates that my sister listens to her, if she were to go to a church like you or I normally do those beliefs would hold true for her.

I'm not sure how your church works but if the student section or the people you hang out with most have a similar mindset as the guest preacher, it might be worth looking around. My friends and I often disagreed with some things that whoever was preaching said, however knowing that it wasn't just me noticing these things and the fact that overall, the church did have a heart centered on Jesus kept me there. I wouldn't automatically write off your church as hateful, there have been times when we had a guest who said crazy things and you could tell even the local pastors on the front row were horrified, I think the whole culture of "respect the guest at all costs" that churches do is a problem they all have. Talk to those around you and see what they think and make your decision from there :smile:
Reply 15
Original post by That Bearded Man
To genuinely reform these churches they need either young people to take a lead and proceed to outlaw these hate preachers, or they need to cut them out.

Posted from TSR Mobile


I completely agree! I know it's not always older people, but it usually is, that preach so much hate. It totally goes against what Jesus stood for. Practically all of the younger goers of the church aren't homophobic in the slightest.
Reply 16
Original post by *Stefan*
OP - one person doesn't represent the entirety of your church. If you love going there, you should continue doing so and just forget about him. Unfortunately religions will always spur hate in society, but that doesn't have to include everyone believing in that religion. Be the difference.



I'll say it - reasoning of ISIS right there.

Helps you distinguish tin mentally fit from the others...

Posted from TSR Mobile


That really stuck with me - "Be the difference."

Thank you, I will.
Original post by samantham999
The bible is against homosexuality as if Judaism and Islam, All 3 Abrahamic religions

I think you just want to feel like you belong somewhere but unfortunately your mind thinks you like effing men therefore you're trying to turn every institution gay

stop complaining about being gay and people not accepting you because its disgusting and you're sick in the head, may god guide your lost soul


The only people sick in the head are those thinking words in a book are literally from a magic creature.
Reply 18
Read the Catechism. It's rather assertive that homophobia is NOT ok. :smile:

EDIT - you're a Protestant. Well it's down to the individual preacher, who in essence speaks only for himself. Don't ignore it, but if you feel you belong where you worship then don't stop going.

God loves you for what He made you. Not what you think you should be.
(edited 7 years ago)
Hi OP. As they get older I would bet that most Christians have heard hateful things said in the their church that they disagree with. I still remember the sermon explaining why all Arabs are genetically evil...

Think about "church" as the people who attend. What did they think? Strike up a conversation with your friends and see what they think about what was preached. Importantly, ask the leader(s) and gauge their response. If you find that everyone agrees with the preacher, consider how comfortable you would be knowing what those happy clappy people during worship actually believe. But perhaps, you could persuade them why they're wrong.

I would expect to disagree with a proportion of what was preached in a church. Otherwise, you're probably not paying attention. But it's how everyone else thinks about it that really matters IMO.

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