The Student Room Group

Not sure if this girl is into me

Right. So there is this girl I like in my IT class called Violet. She's a bit of a Tom Boy and has lots of guy friends, I first met her on the induction day of the College, she and I clicked, from what I thought, I was rather flirty and she didn't object.

Later on in the induction day we skipped 2 hours and she agreed from what I thought she wanted to spend time with me, in the 2 hours she told me some really personal things and I thought she really trusted me. Eventually I found out that she's relatively open, so her telling me these things wasn't so special as I thought it was.

I've always said to her I'll be there for her and just try to be really nice, she currently has this sort of abusive boyfriend who lives about an hour away from her, I don't think they're really going out anymore as I asked if she still likes him, she said no; I thought she liked me.

Then, she started hanging out with a friend, a guy, that she has known for a while, she started always going to town during lunch hours out College, if he wanted to and never really asking anyone else, or me, she always tried to sit next to him and walk with him. Now that has changed to one of my friends just started last week, she's always asking him if he's going to town and she's gone from snapchatting and messaging me all the time, to almost ignoring me unless I message her, I get the occasional message from her not as much as before. Now she's messaging him, always trying to walk and sit with him and just basing what she is doing off of what he wants to do.

I'm extremely confused as to whether she does or doesn't like me, the other day I bought her this little teddy thing she wanted for £8.00 to be nice and she kissed me on the cheek, I was happy of course, I thought she liked me. Just today, her mum is a bit ill right now and she went outside and I just talked to her we hugged for a little.

I ended up kissing her on the cheek today while hugging her, when talking to her outside when she was stressed because of her mum being a little sick, she didn't object or anything, she let me. I thought she liked me, sometimes in class when she is a little stressed, I tickle her a bit to try to help her calm down, she doesn't objectify or anything. I never seen her hug another other guys before, or kiss any other guys (she could hug or kiss when I'm not there) I'm not sure.

So ultimately I don't know what to do. She says she doesn't like anyone at the minute, although that's not what she told my friend who she is currently talking to and trying to be around, she told my friend she likes someone in the College.

So, what do I do? Am I chasing a lost cause here? Or should I just be persistent and keep trying to show her affection/love whenever I can kind of thing?
Reply 1
maybe she liked you at first or was interested in you but not anymore. its not a nice feeling but it happens.
Reply 2
Original post by Tom Johnson
I've always said to her I'll be there for her and just try to be really nice, she currently has this sort of abusive boyfriend who lives about an hour away from her, I don't think they're really going out anymore as I asked if she still likes him, she said no; I thought she liked me.

I'm extremely confused as to whether she does or doesn't like me, the other day I bought her this little teddy thing she wanted for £8.00 to be nice and she kissed me on the cheek, I was happy of course, I thought she liked me. Just today, her mum is a bit ill right now and she went outside and I just talked to her we hugged for a little.

I ended up kissing her on the cheek today while hugging her, when talking to her outside when she was stressed because of her mum being a little sick, she didn't object or anything, she let me. I thought she liked me, sometimes in class when she is a little stressed, I tickle her a bit to try to help her calm down, she doesn't objectify or anything. I never seen her hug another other guys before, or kiss any other guys (she could hug or kiss when I'm not there) I'm not sure.

So, what do I do? Am I chasing a lost cause here? Or should I just be persistent and keep trying to show her affection/love whenever I can kind of thing?


I have bolded your issues.

Stop trying to be the nice guy and actually ask this girl out on a date. She's responding to your "affection" and "love" because you're not being direct enough and she's trying to be nice. Do you think gifts and giving her a hug when she's upset will win her over? Heck no!!

Friendzoned mate, from the moment you said you'd be there for her to help with her relationship problems. Do what a potential boyfriend would do, not a friend :colonhash:
Reply 3
Original post by mkap
maybe she liked you at first or was interested in you but not anymore. its not a nice feeling but it happens.


Yep. I think you're right.
Reply 4
Original post by UWS
I have bolded your issues.

Stop trying to be the nice guy and actually ask this girl out on a date. She's responding to your "affection" and "love" because you're not being direct enough and she's trying to be nice. Do you think gifts and giving her a hug when she's upset will win her over? Heck no!!

Friendzoned mate, from the moment you said you'd be there for her to help with her relationship problems. Do what a potential boyfriend would do, not a friend :colonhash:


So, ask her out on a date? Or do you think it's to late?
Ignore her for a couple days and see what happens :rofl:
Or if you feel like someone might get ahead of you, ask her out asap
Reply 6
Original post by Tom Johnson
So, ask her out on a date? Or do you think it's to late?


You need to stop being so passive. Flirt with her, don't always be by her side and of course you guys need to hang out! The reason why she's off with that other guy is because he's doing it right. You're now the guy that she'll go to if anything goes wrong with him :/

When you say you were being flirty what were you saying? People say they're being flirty when they're not so let's get that cleared up.

I would say it is too late, she'll only give you the "let's just be friends" malarkey. If you really want to know if she likes you, ask her out tomorrow.

However, stop talking to her, stop being there for her, stop buying her stuff and don't give her any attention. That's the step to recover. She might come back, but I wouldn't really count on it. Learn from your mistakes.
Reply 7
Original post by UWS
You need to stop being so passive. Flirt with her, don't always be by her side and of course you guys need to hang out! The reason why she's off with that other guy is because he's doing it right. You're now the guy that she'll go to if anything goes wrong with him :/

When you say you were being flirty what were you saying? People say they're being flirty when they're not so let's get that cleared up.

I would say it is too late, she'll only give you the "let's just be friends" malarkey. If you really want to know if she likes you, ask her out tomorrow.

However, stop talking to her, stop being there for her, stop buying her stuff and don't give her any attention. That's the step to recover. She might come back, but I wouldn't really count on it. Learn from your mistakes.


I just asked her out and I quote: "If I wasn't with Trey then maybe but I'm still with him so when I'm not I might, but don't think I'd say no"

Then she said: "But seriously, maybe when I split up with Trey you can ask me xxxx"
Reply 8
Original post by Tom Johnson
I just asked her out and I quote: "If I wasn't with Trey then maybe but I'm still with him so when I'm not I might, but don't think I'd say no"

Then she said: "But seriously, maybe when I split up with Trey you can ask me xxxx"


Red alert. Abort. Abandon ship.

Yeah bro.. sorry, that sounds like she thinks you're a back up or something. If she does break up with him she'll probably use you as a rebound or something.

Quick Reply

Latest