Are relationships expensive?

Always worried about getting in relationships cause of how costly they can be money wise. My family are fairly well off but I'm 17 and don't have a job and don't expect parents to give me money for dates obviously. I'm focused on getting the grades I need and they've advised me not to get a job cause everyone I've heard from has long shifts no matter how many hours they signed up for. But I really like a girl (she has a job) and I know I have to ask her out before uni for my own sanity mainly haha. But was wondering if the cost of dates and all that is too costly? Trust me I always wanted to wait until I was 19-20 but she changed my mind. Just don't really know what to do.

Reply 1

I is you

Original post by Anonymous

There are numerous cheap dates where you barely need to spend anything. Google it if you want. Your girlfriend shouldn't worry too much about the money if she really likes you and you're too young where she needs to worry about you providing for a household.

Reply 2

Drunk Punx

I feel bad for college kids these days who don't get EMA, wouldn't have been able to buy smokes and see my girlfriend of the time without it.

I umm... don't really have much to offer other than that I'm afraid. Ask your old man to spot you a score? He'll understand.

Reply 3

Tiger Rag

They're only expensive if you want them to be.

Reply 4

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Ask her out. It depends on the girl and on yourself. If she expects everything to be paod for and lots of money spent on her then you are in trouble.

You can do cheap dates, but you should pay your way. Its more expensive thna not having a gf , but then you dont get the other advantages. Try it and see.

Reply 5

Reality Check

Why does it have to come down to money? Spending time with each other doesn't have to cost money!

Reply 6

1582

Volunteer Team

It's up to you whether or not it's going to be. They certainly can be, but only if you want them to (and if she doesn't have standards that are greatly above what you think it is affordable/acceptable).

I spent around £60 on my boyfriend's birthday two weeks ago. That's obviously not an obligation though - in fact he even said to me not to spend too much as he knows I can go a little overboard; but I just wanted to spoil him. Turns out he got money/vouchers from everyone else (I knew his parents were giving him cash, but I didn't know what his other relatives had planned) whereas I bought him several physical presents so I'm so glad I did. It meant he had a few things to open and he seemed to love everything. :smile:

Reply 7

username1726117

First relationship cost me something ridiculous like two grand. Never again.

Second relationship wasn't too bad, but I ended up paying for stuff like the cinema, coffee etc. Arguably that's okay as it was during the dating phase, but it didn't last long so it's regrettable.

I think a relationship where both parties take responsibility for date costs etc is best. Financial independence and stability is very important so may as well start practicing it even when you're younger. Things can get expensive, but it depends on what you want to do. From my point of view, if there's an understanding then there will be no expectation to fork out £££'s for dates which you can't afford. When you can afford better and bigger things, then by all means splash out!

Reply 8

natalie427

Original post by Anonymous

I hate letting guys buy me things on dates, as horrible as it sounds I feel like I owe them something, when I don't. In the past I have let a guy pay for me then gave him the money the next day as I felt terrible. Even though he wanted to pay.

Its an issue of mine most of my friends do not get!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

I get ya, it's just the simple coffee, cinema, meals of the earlier stages, once you get familiar you can just go round to each other's houses and have days out less frequently. But if the earlier stages don't grow into something more it's wasted investment. Willing to take the shot I just have very little money to my name right now.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by natalie427

More girls like you please :biggrin:

Reply 11

natalie427

Original post by Anonymous

More girls like you please :biggrin:

I am skint though... so maybe I'm doing it all wrong.

Reply 12

Tiger Rag

Original post by natalie427

I don't like guys paying for me either. I'm happy to take it in turns to pay though.

Reply 13

Rum Ham

They don't have to be expensive. Relationships shouldn't be one sided - you should both pay half each one time, one pays for all of it next time and vice versa. It shouldn't be the one person paying for everything on every single date. A genuine person who is worth dating will be interested in you regardless of how much or how little you earn and will be fine sharing the cost and treating you on occasion. Also, if they are truly interested in you, spending time together will be the most important thing, not spending money. A simple walk in the park or just chilling at home is a brilliant date when you are truly interested in someone and not just dating them for the expensive dates.