A bit annoyed.
My dad wants me to come to this meeting because its about my brother and my mum will be there and he says that when I'm present, my mum doesn't cause a big commotion in front of everyone which could effect my brothers discharge date (For him to stay longer because that's what she wants). He told me on the phone that the meeting was tomro at 9am and that I had to come, I THOUGHT that I started training tomro at 1pm so I would be able to come but I didn't really want to because a) I'd be rushing all over the place b) No matter how much my dad believes it, whatever my mum says wont effect my brothers discharge date because its up to the doctors, nurses, etc (if they think he's better) and not my mother.
He sensed I was reluctant and he was angry at me saying how he's always there to support me and that I should do the same and that this is very important and he shouldnt have to convince me etc Anyway so whilst I was on the phone, I checked my email for when I started (to see if I could manage my time better to get to the meeting) and I realised I started at 9am and FINISHED at 1pm not started. So I told him and I think he thought I was lying so he said okay and cut the phone. I emailed him my timetable and then texted him explaining how even though I was reluctant I would have come if it wasn't for my training which I have to prioritise but I'd try and talk to mum tonight to tell her not to cause a big fuss and he texted back ok. I also said that I could see him after I finished tomro and he texted back that after the meeting everything would be over so it would be useless which kinda made me annoyed because besides the meeting doesn't he want to spend time with me?
It just annoyed me that he was saying how he always supports me and that I should do it back and even after I told him my training clashed with the meeting, he still seemed angry that I was prioritising my training over the meeting. I also feel quite bad now that I'm unable to "support" him back and he was saying how he's only asking for this one thing etc. Now I feel kinda guilty asking anything from him. Like does he see it as a favour every time I ask for something? Even if my training had not clashed and I didn't want to go, would he have started limiting how much he helps me because of that? Why didnt he want to spend time with me besides the meeting?
I guess I can see why he's upset because I have been really busy lately and it seems like I only go to him when I need something like money and the one time he comes to me and I'm unable to help and not just unable but seem like I don't want to just because I can't be bothered. But I would have liked to see him after I finished to talk about how the meeting went and to spend time with him since I have been busy lately and for him to dismiss it as useless kinda annoyed me. Because he's accusing me of only coming to him when I need him yet is kinda doing the same thing.
I also guess the real reason that I'm upset about this is because he doesn't really seem interested in everything that I'm doing or even proud of me in any sense and is probably quite disappointed in the route that I've decided to take. And I know I wont be able to make him proud until I actually get into a university and even then he isn't happy with the fact I want to do nursing. And it kinda feels the only thing I can do to make him happy are these types of things like going to meetings and therefore me not being able to do this just renders me useless.